Do You Make Your Kids Share?

[WImom]

If one or two kids are playing with something and a third wants to play I have them ask if they can play. If the kids already playing say no thanks or I want to play by myself would you make them share or tell the other child that they will have to wait until so and so is done.

That's what I do but I'm wondering if that's the right way to go about it.
I do make sure the kids saying no are not mean about it.

What's your method on situations like this?

I have a family where they are siblings and the mom seems to always say that the kids will share with you or tell the other sibling to share. These are the only kids here that seem to have a problem with my method (they cry and throw tantrums) but I think it's because I do it different then home. (most of my kids here are only's).

[Jewels]

I don't make the kids give up something they are playing with, Sharing to me does not mean, a child needs to give up what they are playing with. If someone wants something someone else is playing with, they need to wait until its available, I don't make a child include someone else if they want to play alone, however if there is a group of 3/ 4-5 yr olds playing together, and another 4-5yr old kid comes out saying they told them they couldn't play, then I step in and say they cannot exclude anyone, that to me isn't fair, no excluding(unless its like a two yr old, I wont make the older kids play with the younger, then I just re-direct the younger children to something else). there are times where I just don't know what to do, so then I just pretend to have a diaper to change or something, most times they need to work stuff out on their own..................but then there are toys that they do need to take turns on, like the indoor slide.

[Meyou]

I get them to ask to play together or to ask for the next turn.

[Blackcat31]

I do it the exact same way as you. The kids declining must be respectful about it but I absolutely do not believe that everyone HAS to be included just because they asked to. They do have to be respectful and polite but to teach children that everyone will always say yes just because they asked is not okay in my opinion.

I also have a sibling set who's mom says to the older one when she leaves each morning to take care of her sister and make sure she gets included. I always tell the kids that we are individuals here and just because someone is their younger or older sibling does not mean they are responsible or required to take care of them or ensure their happiness while here.

I communicate with the mother of these sisters that each child is responsible for their own actions and it is not fair of her to telll the oldest one it is her job to make sure her sister is happy. But she says it anyways. (Can you tell I was the older sister? LOL!)

[kitkat]

I do the same thing...they don't have to share/let someone play. The only time I make them include someone is when there is plenty of the item to go around (blocks, cars, etc).

[2ndFamilyDC]

I do it just like you do Jewels.

[snbauser]

Depends. I also allow the kids to say "no thank you" when they don't want someone else to play with them. But I have a few who will do it just to be mean or who will continually exclude certain kids and I will sometimes make them let the other child play. For example we have 4 potato heads and a huge box of accessories. If there are only 1 or 2 kids playing at the table with them and another child asks if they can play, I will sometimes over rule the "no thank you" with "How many potato heads are left in the bucket?" and "so it looks like there are X left for someone else to play right". They usually respond with "ok. here you play with this one."

[Heidi]

I like the 3 part system I learned from my son's Montessori.

"May I play with you?" if no...
"May I watch you?"...if no...
"Then please let me know when you are done with that"... (of course)....

I think it is most successful with children 2 1/2 or up. My toddlers wouldn't have the words yet

[kendallina]

I like the 3 part system I learned from my son's Montessori.

"May I play with you?" if no...
"May I watch you?"...if no...
"Then please let me know when you are done with that"... (of course)....

I think it is most successful with children 2 1/2 or up. My toddlers wouldn't have the words yet

I like that.

[youretooloud]

I just keep track of who wants it next and make sure that when child #1 is finished, they need to give it to child #2.

I have two kids who will purposely keep it longer, or give it to another child just to be mean to the one who wants it...so, I keep track.