Meal Time Is Driving Me Crazy...Help!

[KEG123]

So, at the title says, meal times here are driving me insane! I've got 4 kids total. Ages 3, 2.5, 2.5, and 22 months. Basically they are all insanely loud, distracted by each other, and take FOREVER to eat. One of them will scream about something, then they all join in. One bangs their fork on the table, they all join in.

Seating arrangements are as follows: I have the youngest in the high chair, my 3 year old and one of the 2.5 year olds at the big table in boosters, and the other 2.5 year old at a smaller child sized table. Unfortunately, due to the amount of chairs, etc, the seating has to be this way.

I'm literally at a loss as to what to do. I CONSTANTLY have to tell them "Please, NO yelling at the table." "NO banging silverware on the table!" "PLEASE take another bite!" ETC. I'm sick of having to give these commands just to get them to eat a simple meal. Sometimes it even goes that way for snacks! And I know it's not that they don't like the food, because they DO eat it all, when they finally DO eat... but I have to remind them over and over and it's getting old really quick.

Someone, help!

[Country Kids]

I'm so ready for the ideas because we are going through the same thing here!!! I know lunch time is for talking and bonding but not screaming, kicking chairs, etc.

[Heidi]

table time

Natural consequences:

At a time when you are NOT eating, you talk to the group about your expectations at the table. Sitting nicely in your chair, plates stay on the table, inside voices.

Then you tell them what the consequences are "when you are loud and silly at the table, you are telling me that you are done eating. If you don't show good table manners, I will put your food away and excuse you."

Then do it. Start on a Monday, and I am sure by Friday, everyone will know you are serious. Remember, you only have to OFFER a meal, if they choose not to eat, you are not breaking any rules. If you want to give people ONE second chance, it would depend on you and the type of kids you have. In any case, the next meal is only 3 hours away, so no one is going to starve!

I serve my meals family style, and sit with the children. The youngest ones do not put food on their own plates yet (they are 14 mo twins), but I won't give them their plate until they are quiet. "Oh, I see that Tommy is being quiet and is ready for his plate. Here you go, Tommy.."

My group is still pretty new. We went from total chaos (4 of my kids are from 1 family) to family style dinning in 3 months. Next, I will work on napkin use (no, really!), and a frivolous thing...saying "bon apetit" before everyone eats. That's just for fun, and it amazes parents when their children do it at home...

[cheerfuldom]

start using a timer to show the kids the time limit for snacks and meals. anyone not behaving is removed from the table. thats what I do and I have a 3 year old, two 2 year olds, four kids 13 months or younger (the youngest doesn't eat at the table yet )

[KEG123]

start using a timer to show the kids the time limit for snacks and meals. anyone not behaving is removed from the table. thats what I do and I have a 3 year old, two 2 year olds, four kids 13 months or younger (the youngest doesn't eat at the table yet )

Yeah but when I remove them from the table, they just run around distracting everyone else who actually IS eating.

[Meeko]

We put out the nap blankets BEFORE we sit down to eat. The kids have learned that if they play around at the table, they are telling me they are done and ready start their nap.

It was hard at first, but they know I don't repeat myself. If you are told to leave the table....you leave the table and lie down. It's THEIR choice not to eat/be loud etc. It is therefore also their choice by consequence to leave the table.

[Michael]

https://www.daycare.com/forum/showthread.php?t=34064

[laundrymom]

We put out the nap blankets BEFORE we sit down to eat. The kids have learned that if they play around at the table, they are telling me they are done and ready start their nap.

It was hard at first, but they know I don't repeat myself. If you are told to leave the table....you leave the table and lie down. It's THEIR choice not to eat/be loud etc. It is therefore also their choice by consequence to leave the table.

Yep this!!! Plan a big snack this day but yes, bad manners not eating, gets you removed from the table here. Also, I used to have a dwadler. I know that's not spelled right. Lol. But you know the kid who purposely eats slow to be the last one. I have a routine of when they are two left at table. They leave the table together. Say Jonah and shawn are last. When I take shawms plate and cup I send him potty and remind Jonah, when he finishes you are next so you need to finish. And I do. I take up his plate and send him potty. He had the same 40 minutes to eat as every one else. After a few days he starts EATING not sitting and watching forever.

[Cat Herder]

We put out the nap blankets BEFORE we sit down to eat. The kids have learned that if they play around at the table, they are telling me they are done and ready start their nap.

It was hard at first, but they know I don't repeat myself. If you are told to leave the table....you leave the table and lie down. It's THEIR choice not to eat/be loud etc. It is therefore also their choice by consequence to leave the table.

Same here.

Mealtimes are stress free.

[KEG123]

So today, I'm sure dkb hates me.

Breakfast time: I sat him down and said "Today is different. You will eat your food and if you start to act silly, then you go wait in the chair for everyone else to get done." Lo and behold, he takes two bites, starts acting silly. So I tell him to go sit down. After everyone is about halfway done, 5-7 minutes later I say "Ok, I'm giving you one more chance to go sit down and eat without being silly" two bites later, the sillies come back out. I say "Ok, now you go wait until everyone is done eating." I cover his plate and put it in the fridge.

Snack time: Give him his breakfast again (Am I allowed to do that? ) and say "You can finish eating your breakfast now, and remember the rules from this morning... If you start to act silly, you're going to sit in the other room and wait for everyone to be done" So yep, a couple bites in, the sillies come out. I follow through and make him sit." After snack everyone was going outside, so I made him sit inside (with me hovering between the porch and the dining room to keep an eye on everyone) Then when he finished I let him come out. He was pouty though the whole day. Poor guy.

[Cat Herder]

Keep at it, it won't take long. Congrats...it is working.

Now, giving him the breakfast again is a no-no, here.... I just move on to the next scheduled meal/snack and occassionally add a bit of extra protein to beef it up (nuts, pbj, etc.) until he gets the hang of it.

Your rules may be different, though, so take a peek at your site.

You are preparing him for school. They will simply have him dump his tray and send him on his way. He would have to wait until he got home. 6-7 hours is WAY harder to go without food than the 2-3 hours we typically go.

[KEG123]

Well I did give him some goldfishes too, which was what everyone else was having for snack. Really all he had left from breakfast was his banana and maybe 2-4 pieces of french toast.

[Cat Herder]

Well I did give him some goldfishes too, which was what everyone else was having for snack. Really all he had left from breakfast was his banana and maybe 2-4 pieces of french toast.

I am sure you are fine. I have no doubt you are taking excellent care of your littles... I was just telling you my reg.

[kendallina]

Natural consequences:

At a time when you are NOT eating, you talk to the group about your expectations at the table. Sitting nicely in your chair, plates stay on the table, inside voices.

Then you tell them what the consequences are "when you are loud and silly at the table, you are telling me that you are done eating. If you don't show good table manners, I will put your food away and excuse you."

Then do it. Start on a Monday, and I am sure by Friday, everyone will know you are serious. Remember, you only have to OFFER a meal, if they choose not to eat, you are not breaking any rules. If you want to give people ONE second chance, it would depend on you and the type of kids you have. In any case, the next meal is only 3 hours away, so no one is going to starve!

I serve my meals family style, and sit with the children. The youngest ones do not put food on their own plates yet (they are 14 mo twins), but I won't give them their plate until they are quiet. "Oh, I see that Tommy is being quiet and is ready for his plate. Here you go, Tommy.."

My group is still pretty new. We went from total chaos (4 of my kids are from 1 family) to family style dinning in 3 months. Next, I will work on napkin use (no, really!), and a frivolous thing...saying "bon apetit" before everyone eats. That's just for fun, and it amazes parents when their children do it at home...

This is what I do almost exactly. I will tell any child who doesn't follow the expectations to clean up. I always give a second chance and it stops the behavior. It's pretty rate now that I have to deal with any of these behaviors, so it seems to work pretty well. I have had children clean up and be done on occasion.

[kendallina]

So today, I'm sure dkb hates me.

Breakfast time: I sat him down and said "Today is different. You will eat your food and if you start to act silly, then you go wait in the chair for everyone else to get done." Lo and behold, he takes two bites, starts acting silly. So I tell him to go sit down. After everyone is about halfway done, 5-7 minutes later I say "Ok, I'm giving you one more chance to go sit down and eat without being silly" two bites later, the sillies come back out. I say "Ok, now you go wait until everyone is done eating." I cover his plate and put it in the fridge.

Snack time: Give him his breakfast again (Am I allowed to do that? ) and say "You can finish eating your breakfast now, and remember the rules from this morning... If you start to act silly, you're going to sit in the other room and wait for everyone to be done" So yep, a couple bites in, the sillies come out. I follow through and make him sit." After snack everyone was going outside, so I made him sit inside (with me hovering between the porch and the dining room to keep an eye on everyone) Then when he finished I let him come out. He was pouty though the whole day. Poor guy.

You did good... Give it time, it'll work.