DCB Is A Very Picky Eater...

[VTMom]

I'm looking for some advice. I have a 4 1/2 year old DCB that is the pickiest eater I've met! Mom told me this during interview so it's not just at daycare. It's frequent for him to refuse to eat lunch before even sitting down at the table and seeing what's on his plate! I typically try to coax him into eating something on his plate, and if he still refuses, he has to finish his milk and wait until the others are finished (in other words, no...you can't chug your milk and go play). He'll often refuse foods he has eaten without a problem previously.

This morning I noticed several kid yogurts in their bag. Nothing was mentioned and they weren't removed by Mom. If I had to guess, I'm thinking they want me to give that to him as an alternative. My knee-jerk reaction is irritation and thinking that this will teach him that he can always have yogurt and not even consider eating, therefore supporting his refusals. It's also unfair to the others who eat their lunch, but may prefer yogurt. I was thinking that perhaps, assuming my guess is right, that I will allow him to have yogurt if he didn't eat, but only after the others are finished their lunch. That way it's not in their face, and it's not an automatic "you can have lunch like everyone else, or yogurt".

Am I being unreasonable about this? I understand there could be a concern with him getting enough to eat, although he makes up for it with breakfast and snack frequently. What would you do?

Thanks for your help!

[laundrymom]

Yogurt would be tossed. Tell mom at pickup that " I noticed a bunch of yogurt in his bag this afternoon, since I provide all the childrens foods I figured you had them there yesterday and since they were spoiled I tossed them for you. :-). If she says anything I would just say well it's not fair to the rest of the children if he gets sugary yogurt and they get a real meal. Also, yogurt for every meal isn't healthy.

[Blackcat31]

I agree with laundrymom. It is only your job to prepare and serve the meals. The rest is up to the dcb. If he chooses not to eat, that is his choice. He will not starve while at daycare. Mom and dad can cater to him if they choose to at home but at daycare, none of this fight should be yours.

[littlemommy]

Are you on the food program? If you are, and you serve anything that they bring from home, you cannot claim his meal for that day.

I have a 2 year old that hasn't eaten more than 2 bites of food in my care since he started 6 months ago. His dad told me that he would start coming to eat with him and bring lunch. I stopped that before it even started. That would only discourage the boy from eating my food even more. Not to mention it would send him into an outrage when his dad had to leave. What a disruption!

I figure if he doesn't eat then he's not hungry. If he gets hungry enough, he'll eat!

[daycare]

I was and still am the pickiest eater on the planet earth...
when i was growing up, my mom would try to force me to eat the foods taht I really disliked. She then gave up and decided to feed me the ones that I did like and found herslef having to cook to many meals to please me. Eventually she said here is dinner eat what you want and what you don't. I started making my own food when I was 9.

I hate meal time battles, but i agree with the others. Why does he get special stuff? Kids will eat when they are hungry (i am living proof) Unless this child has a note from the doctor stating that he can only consume yogurt, he will be sitting at the table with a meal like the rest of the kids and will eat what he wants. If he choses not to eat, then there is nothing that you can do.

[ritah]

I agree with laundrymom. It is only your job to prepare and serve the meals. The rest is up to the dcb. If he chooses not to eat, that is his choice. He will not starve while at daycare. Mom and dad can cater to him if they choose to at home but at daycare, none of this fight should be yours.

I'm so glad to read this today! I have a 2yo DCG that has suddenly decided she won't eat lunch or snacks here. She does get catered to at home, but I have refused to do that. I was starting to worry about it because it's been most of last week and all of this week, and this was just the reassurance I needed!

[littlemommy]

One thing that drives me nuts is that this boy won't eat any lunch, but will ALWAYS sit down for snack. Can I get in trouble with the food program if I give his lunch back to him at snack time? He usually doesn't even look at his lunch, he refuses to come sit down. After nap he'll run right over when I announce it's snack time.

[daycare]

One thing that drives me nuts is that this boy won't eat any lunch, but will ALWAYS sit down for snack. Can I get in trouble with the food program if I give his lunch back to him at snack time? He usually doesn't even look at his lunch, he refuses to come sit down. After nap he'll run right over when I announce it's snack time.

I was told that once it hits the table you have to serve it and then throw it away. But that does not mean that you cant save him a clean plate of food and then give it to him at the next meal. I had to do this and I told my worker that He refused to eat lunch so she said ok great idea making sure he has his daily calories met.

[littlemommy]

I was told that once it hits the table you have to serve it and then throw it away. But that does not mean that you cant save him a clean plate of food and then give it to him at the next meal. I had to do this and I told my worker that He refused to eat lunch so she said ok great idea making sure he has his daily calories met.

I'll try that. Especially since he usually doesn't even come to the table. My food program lady said as long as I have made enough for each child and offer him lunch I can claim it. She said if he doesn't even touch the plate that I can just give it to the next kid. Keeps me from having to throw it away!

[nannyde]

I would just tell the Mom that you have had a ton of "picky" eaters and you welcome them. Tell her it's actually the norm now to be "picky". You don't have ANY problem with him not eating. You have had many many kids who can easily go all day in child care and not eat. It's no biggie at ALL. You know she will make sure he gets everything he needs every day.

Tell her that what is important to you is that he sits and enjoys the fellowship of your meals. Mealtime is an important time for the group to bond and RELAX. We are humans and humans LOVE to eat together. So as long as he behaves during the meal and doesn't disrupt the groups enjoyment of the meal... all is well. It doesn't matter if he eats or doesn't eat. Just that he behaves.

So each day the discussion is whether or not he was a gentleman at the table. If she brings up that he is hungry tell her again that it doesn't matter to you whether each individual child eats or not. The important thing is that the GROUP enjoy this time together. You are confident she will make sure he gets everything he needs every day when he is with her.

She's welcome to front load him up with cals RIGHT before he walks in your door and make sure he's able to have alot of cals RIGHT when she gets him in her car for the way home. Just have his special special food available for him on both ends BEFORE and AFTER he comes to your house. He can't have the special IN your house but she is welcome to load him up right before and after.

His being "picky" doesn't have ANYTHING to do with child care. Don't allow it to.

[Blackcat31]

One thing that drives me nuts is that this boy won't eat any lunch, but will ALWAYS sit down for snack. Can I get in trouble with the food program if I give his lunch back to him at snack time? He usually doesn't even look at his lunch, he refuses to come sit down. After nap he'll run right over when I announce it's snack time.

If a dck here chose not to eat their lunch, then for snack they get crackers. Nothing fun or fancy like the rest of the kids get. Just crackers and milk.

I have a 4 yr old who has basically only had crackers and milk at my house for the past 2 years. Mom spends countless hours trying to bribe, reason and beg him to eat until she finally gives in and makes what he wants or hits the drive through.

Not me though, here: you get what you get and you don't have a fit. I prepare and serve, the kids choose to eat or not. Simple as that.

[wdmmom]

Do you feed him breakfast or is he getting breakfast at home or in the car on the way to your house.

I don't doubt he has eating issues, however, the parents probably aren't helping the cause if they are loading him up on granola bars, sugary cereal, poptarts and Little Debbies every morning.

[VTMom]

I feed him breakfast as well. He usually does really good with breakfast (had 4 homemade waffles this morning), with the exception of cereal - he only likes fruit loops which is something that is not/will not be offered.

I've considered restricting snacks based on how he eats, but knowing the kid will not eat 90% of what I serve for lunch, I feel that's unfair in this case. I'm also worried about getting involved in a power struggle over it that I just don't have the energy for, kwim? I won't let him have seconds on snack with the exception of the fruit/veg offered. I think the kids here hear "it's a snack not a meal" daily!

Nothing was mentioned at pick-up about the mysterious yogurts.

I've been thinking about signing up for the food program. As someone suggested earlier, I will have to look into any problems that may create with meal disallowance.

Thanks for your help! I know what I need to do, I just needed the shove to do it.

[VTMom]

...and he gets here right at 7:00 with a new baby brother, so I don't think they have the time or ability to eat anything before arrival!

[nannyde]

I feed him breakfast as well. He usually does really good with breakfast (had 4 homemade waffles this morning), with the exception of cereal - he only likes fruit loops which is something that is not/will not be offered.

I've considered restricting snacks based on how he eats, but knowing the kid will not eat 90% of what I serve for lunch, I feel that's unfair in this case. I'm also worried about getting involved in a power struggle over it that I just don't have the energy for, kwim? I won't let him have seconds on snack with the exception of the fruit/veg offered. I think the kids here hear "it's a snack not a meal" daily!

Nothing was mentioned at pick-up about the mysterious yogurts.

I've been thinking about signing up for the food program. As someone suggested earlier, I will have to look into any problems that may create with meal disallowance.

Thanks for your help! I know what I need to do, I just needed the shove to do it.

Friend,

His serving size for breakfast is just a 1/2 slice of toast or 1/3 cup of cereal. If he is eating four waffles... even if they are small... it's probably about six times his actual serving size.

I would DRASTICALLY lower his carb intake in the morning. Give him a half of a muffin or a half of a waffle (like half of an Eggo), one half cup of milk, and a quarter of a cup of fruit. THAT'S IT.

Keep his breakfast to the reccomended allowances and do an early lunch.

Check out this: http://www.fns.usda.gov/cnd/care/pro...l_patterns.htm

One very very strong pattern of "picky eaters" is the big starch/sugar breakfast that gives them enough calories to make it for a ten hour day care day. Keep to the amounts he's supposed to have so his natural hunger drive kicks in.

Don't buy the parents saying they don't have time in the morning. They have the same 24 hour day that everyone else has. If she is worried about him being hungry then she needs to GET UP early in the morning and prepare him a high calorie meal so he's covered till she gets him back home at night.