Sad For DD's Friend

[countrymom]

I hope parents read this. My dd is 13 and on the soccer team. She has a friend A who is the same age and on the soccer team. Today they had a game a school near A's mom work. It was 2 min. from moms work. Her mom owns her own salon and closes early on tues and has employees. Everyones parents were there picking up their kids because the game was done at 5pm.
So I asked A where her mom was, and she was like "at work" and I was so taken back that her mom couldn't come and see her play. I know work is important too but when you close shop early why the heck cant you come and see your child play, so this in my book is called bad self absorbed parenting. I know for a fact (I've known this family for 7 yrs so this kinda wasn't a shocker) she won't come to any other game.

[Michael]

I just don't get that. It would mean so much to her if her mother put her interests first. Even to show up for a few minutes would make a huge difference.

[Meyou]

That makes me sad. Even the busiest parent should make an effort to see their kid's play.

That being said...I avoid my daughter's dance studio like the plague. I have never missed a recital, exam, performance, or evaluation but I avoid the studio and the classes. My dd (12) understands that the dance yuppy moms are trying to **** my soul and make me one of them and I won't let it happen! :: Seriously though....I'm not an unban socialite and never will be. My daughter dances because she loves it, not because I wasn't a dance star when I was small and never got over it. Those women (for the most part) are craaazy. My dd is enough like me that she gets it.

[Zoe]

That makes me sad. Even the busiest parent should make an effort to see their kid's play.

That being said...I avoid my daughter's dance studio like the plague. I have never missed a recital, exam, performance, or evaluation but I avoid the studio and the classes. My dd (12) understands that the dance yuppy moms are trying to **** my soul and make me one of them and I won't let it happen! :: Seriously though....I'm not an unban socialite and never will be. My daughter dances because she loves it, not because I wasn't a dance star when I was small and never got over it. Those women (for the most part) are craaazy. My dd is enough like me that she gets it.

I have to laugh at this meyou, because when I first signed my daughter up for dance I was DREADING going to the studio because I was so sure that all the dance moms were going to be exactly like you described. My best friend in high school was in dance and that's how it was at her studio.

To my surprise, so far (keep your fingers crossed), they're actually pretty nice! No perfectly manicured ladies, in fact I'm the only one there who wears makeup, no clicky conversations. I'm a sarcastic realist, so I can spot a snob a mile away. Haven't seen one yet!

Just had to share that there actually are dance moms who AREN'T crazy! ::

[awestbrook713]

This bothers me because I am a parent who would be at every little thing any of my kids were in but when I was working away form home it was difficult to get time off. Now that I am doing daycare and have some free time you better believe I will be using it to see my kids and their achievements. I went to morning program yesterday for the first time and watched my oldest announce the weather forecast and my middle child sing a song. Seeing their little faces light up is the best reward a parent can have. Lets hope the child A's mom sees the error of her ways before it is too late.

[Meyou]

I have to laugh at this meyou, because when I first signed my daughter up for dance I was DREADING going to the studio because I was so sure that all the dance moms were going to be exactly like you described. My best friend in high school was in dance and that's how it was at her studio.

To my surprise, so far (keep your fingers crossed), they're actually pretty nice! No perfectly manicured ladies, in fact I'm the only one there who wears makeup, no clicky conversations. I'm a sarcastic realist, so I can spot a snob a mile away. Haven't seen one yet!

Just had to share that there actually are dance moms who AREN'T crazy! ::

Lol! Lucky you! It's awful at our school and very competetitve. But dd is good and loves dance so curriculum-wise this is the place she needs to be. My mom gets along quite well with them but she's one of them so that makes sense. :: My mama is a Martha Stewart wannabe and does it well. She goes and watches classes alot (aka brags, boasts and compares with the best of them) I pick up and drop off and listen to dd's gossip on the way home. :P

[Zoe]

Lol! Lucky you! It's awful at our school and very competetitve. But dd is good and loves dance so curriculum-wise this is the place she needs to be. My mom gets along quite well with them but she's one of them so that makes sense. :: My mama is a Martha Stewart wannabe and does it well. She goes and watches classes alot (aka brags, boasts and compares with the best of them) I pick up and drop off and listen to dd's gossip on the way home. :P

That's funny about your mom, because mine is the opposite again! :::: If there were so much as one of those dance moms, she'd do the same as you....stay away! ::::

To the op, I can't believe what is going through that mom's mind when her daughter's game is 2 minutes away. Even if she just drops by for a little bit in between customers. I hope you're cheering on A so that she knows there is at least someone in the stands who is there for her, even if it isn't her own mother. Just sad.

[boysx5]

that makes me sad because I hate when I miss my kids games with having five sons I can't always make all the games and with this job its hard.

[KEG123]

My mom rarely went to my soccer games either. The ONE time I ever "slide tackled" someone my mom was at the game, but sitting in the car. I hated it because I was so proud of my cool move. Whenever my son gets into sports, I'm going to be at all the games.

[Unregistered]

My DD started a new sport this year and the school is just up the street. The games are during daycare hours, but as soon as that last kid leaves, I have the hub come get me or I would walk. Even if I don't get to see her play or I only get the last five minutes of the game, oh well. I was there, and I tried and I support my kiddo for her interest.

Some parents don't get it, some have anxiety issues, some are just selfish......some throw up the their kids instead of bringing them up. It's a big world out there and it takes all kinds. UGH! Sad

[countrymom]

my girls dance too, and there are those clicky moms, obviously I don't fit in their click, but thats ok, because I met this wonderful lady many years ago who also crochets so me and her sit and crochet for hours while our girls dance, and the girls are really good friends which is even better. I was telling dh and he said "what did you expect, its her she doesn't care"

[Crystal]

I KNOW I am going to get blasted for this, but I am SO sick of these types of posts:

Soooo, are you implying that you are a better parent simply because you attend practices and games? Do you know the level of quality time this parent spends with her child behind closed doors? Do you know their financial situation that may require her to work when her child is playing? Do you know what responsibilities this parent has after her business is closed? Do you know if the child ( who IS 13 , btw) has told her Mom that she doesn't want her there? I could go on, but....

I find this highly judgemental and self-righteous and it really makes me understand why so many parents who visit this site are "turned off" by daycare providers

[Crystal]

That's funny about your mom, because mine is the opposite again! :::: If there were so much as one of those dance moms, she'd do the same as you....stay away! ::::

.

And THIS may be the EXACT reason the OP's DD friend's Mom doesn't go.....heck, she's getting talked about on-line, I can imagine how she would feel if she were there :confused:

[daycare]

I KNOW I am going to get blasted for this, but I am SO sick of these types of posts:

Soooo, are you implying that you are a better parent simply because you attend practices and games? Do you know the level of quality time this parent spends with her child behind closed doors? Do you know their financial situation that may require her to work when her child is playing? Do you know what responsibilities this parent has after her business is closed? Do you know if the child ( who IS 13 , btw) has told her Mom that she doesn't want her there? I could go on, but....

I find this highly judgemental and self-righteous and it really makes me understand why so many parents who visit this site are "turned off" by daycare providers

sorry ladies, but I have to agree with you crystal I coached youth sports for years and I had a dad that was working 3 jobs just so that his son could play on my team. I know how bad he wanted to be there but couldnt.

Also, when my son was 13 he said that I was embarassing and asked me to stop coming to his baseball games. It killed me. So we agreed that I could watch from the car...

[melskids]

I KNOW I am going to get blasted for this, but I am SO sick of these types of posts:

Soooo, are you implying that you are a better parent simply because you attend practices and games? Do you know the level of quality time this parent spends with her child behind closed doors? Do you know their financial situation that may require her to work when her child is playing? Do you know what responsibilities this parent has after her business is closed? Do you know if the child ( who IS 13 , btw) has told her Mom that she doesn't want her there? I could go on, but....

I find this highly judgemental and self-righteous and it really makes me understand why so many parents who visit this site are "turned off" by daycare providers

this sentence made me think of something that just happened to me recently.

my mother went in for surgery in may for a clogged artery. it was supposed to be a simple same day surgery.

she lives 3 hours away. OF COURSE i offered to take the day off and come to the hospital to support her.


she INSISTED i not come. when i say insisted, i mean INSISTED. you DO NOT argue with my mother.

well, halfway through surgery, while she was under anethesia, (sp) she had a stroke.

as soon as i got word, i came home. it took me an hour to get all my DC kids picked up, and 2 1/2 hours to get to her.

to this DAY, other family members are judging me for not being RIGHT there when it happened, like i could have stopped it.

none of them took the time to refrain from judging me, and to think about why i might have not been there.

to them, i looked like the uncaring daughter. but i was merely respecting her wishes.

so my point is, you really don't know a persons situation without walking in their shoes.