What Am I Missing Here??

[Alwaysgreener]

Me to group: It is time for snack, get line up to wash your hands. (put them in line in a certain order, DCB 3.5 is the last in line today) All the kids in the line wash up and head to the table. Dcb sat in line watching everyone wash their hands and head to the table. I was getting the snack ready and a bottle ready for the infant. DCB calls to me and says Ms X can I wash my hands and come to the table?

What did I do wrong???

Me to another child, DCG when you blow your nose you need to go wash your hands after.
She turns to head to the bathroom and he heads to the bathroom.
Me DCB where are you going?
DCB: to the bathroom
Me Why
DCB to wash my hands
Me sweety I was talking to DCG.
DCB ohh

What am I missing here??


Me DCB it is time to go to the bathroom
DCB heads to the bathroom as I grab him a new pull-up and grab a bag for the wet one

Me What do you need to do?
DCB go potty change pull up and wash hands
Me yes, you're a big boy and I know you can do it

(I leave and go do a task, sometimes I am out of his sight and sometimes I am outside the bathroom, changing another child.)

He sits on the toilet and sings his ABC (something I teach them to do)

DCB Ms X, I am dooooooooonnneee!!!

(If I do not respond he repeats it over and over, if I respond "Change your pull up" he continues until I go back into the bathroom to tell him to change the pull-up.)

Me What do you do next?
DCB Change my pull-up?
Me yessss, you are a big boy, you can do it.

BG He is potty training and I have him go every two hours, he is always soaked and only does number two on the toilet. He never knows when he is wet and he never goes on his own.
​
What can I do differently besides sitting in the bathroom the whole time?

[e.j.]

I don't think you did anything wrong. He might just need some help understanding that when you're talking to the entire group, it includes him, too. He may also not remember all of the steps involved in using the toilet. Would he respond to a poster that shows, using pictures, the steps he needs to follow? When my son was this age, I used to get frustrated with him because when I'd tell the group of kids what I wanted them to do, he'd often not follow my instructions like the other kids did. In talking with him, it became clear he didn't realize I meant him, too, unless I used his name. Years later, he was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome and reading about executive functioning skills deficits in kids with Autism, it finally made sense to me. Not saying your dcb has autism unless he has other tell-tale signs but maybe he just needs more time for his executive functioning skills to develop?

[Alwaysgreener]

I did make him a poster once but then he was gone for a bit and ds took it down. I just haven't printed a new one.
I am not sure if I should add pictures of a pull up or not. Thoughts?

(The original poster was for him and another dcb that was in underwear)

We also watch go potty go and go over the poster that I had hung up during circle time. The problem is that the Dcg is loud and tells me the steps instead of dcb.

[e.j.]

If he tends to be a literal thinker, it wouldn't hurt to put a picture of a pull-up instead of underwear on the poster. If the poster worked for you in the past, it's worth at least trying it again. As long as the loud dcg is giving him correct info, I'd let her tell you and then ask dcb to tell you what dcg said. I've got one of those kids, too, and it can be aggravating, but it probably won't hurt dcb to hear the steps from her, too. I just ask him, "Now, what did you hear dcg say....can you tell me the steps?" I swear sometimes my dc kids listen to each other better than they listen to me! ;-)

[Alwaysgreener]

Things went better today. I told him to go to the bathroom and asked him his steps in the bathroom each time. The first time he said "Go potty, change pull up, and go potty" but then I corrected him and said wash hands. When he was done signing ABC, he told me and all I said was okay while walking past the bathroom.

At circle time I had DCG read a poster (colors) and then had him read the bathroom one.


This dcb can snap his jeans but can not hold his pee. Really the only thing he is doing is changing himself, he has no idea that he has gone pee.

Why don't they make a pull-up that gets cold when wet so that it is uncomfortable?


So I am trying to get him to understand that his warm gel-filled diaper is wet but when he squeezes it (and I ask him if it is squishy) he says No. I even had him squeeze a dry one and a wet one and he still tells me No.

Is this an issue of not understanding squishy?

[e.j.]

I don't know. It could be that he doesn't understand what squishy means. It could also be that he understands the concept when he touches the sample wet diaper but that knowledge doesn't translate to a wet diaper he's actually wearing. It could be just the age and he just needs more practice and time to "get" it. I have a potty training 3 year old who will insist he's dry when his diaper is soaking wet. I have to point to the blue line to prove to him that the diaper is wet and needs to be changed before he believes me.

If you think the problem is that he can't feel he's wet, it might help to have him wear underwear under his pull-up[. I've had kids do that so when they wet, they can actually feel that they're wet. The pull-up on top is there to catch the pee so I don't have to clean up multiple accidents. I love the idea of a pull-up that gets cold when wet so kids can feel it. Maybe you need to figure out how to make a diaper like that. It could make you a millionaire!

[Alwaysgreener]

It is so funny because this morning I sent him to the bathroom a little earlier than normal and he felt his diaper and said it was dry it is not squishy. When I checked it was not wet. I still made him sit and he still did not pee.

But then before nap, I sent him in and he did not change his pull-up. I did not notice until I went to get him one for after nap and he had one sitting on the counter. After nap, I told him to go and he even told me and change my pull-up. He had to go Forum so he took forever (he is poop trained for the most part), I had to feed his brother while I waited and he says "I am done". Then said "I wipe and change my pull-up now". I said yes but he still forgot and I had to send him back to change it. LOL

I still feel like I am winning.