Well My Backbone Isn't Strong But It's There LOL

[erinalexmom]

I was the one who posted for help so that I dont quit. Well I told the school agers mom that I cant do the 5am thing anymore. I also told her that I cant do care for breaks. I told her that I can watch them till Christmas break and then eigther she can find someone else or I open at 6am for other families. I told her it didnt have anything to do with her boys (although really the one boy annoys the heck out of me!) So in telling her she needs to adjust her schedule or find other care I was good, but giving her an "out"for adjusting the schedule and telling her it was over my numbers for breaks really wasnt the whole truth but I feel too bad saying "your kid is annoying and I really hope you find some other ****er LOL"
She said she'll work on it and that she appreciates me giving her alot of notice.

[Sugar Magnolia]

Good for you! Yay! That extra hour of sleep will make a BIG difference in your happiness level. Too bad you have 3 more months to go....

[cheerfuldom]

hopefully she will just move them to a new place asap and you won't have to wait till Christmas. I wouldn't have given more than 4 weeks notice though since you really hate the schedule as is

[erinalexmom]

Believe me, I really didnt want to give that much notice but the mother and I went to preschool together when we were kids and were friends throughout school and the father and I were friends in high school. They are nice people but they just let thier kids walk all over them and have a crappy work schedule. So honestly, I live in a town of 900 people and most of us have known each other since pre-k, so you have to be careful to "keep up appearances" so to speak. Also its because Im a wimp But my baby nephew will be leaving in December (and I watch him for free anyway) and if they leave. Then I will be down by 3 children AND be getting an extra hour of sleep each day - I think thats a good way to start a new year

[nannyde]

With you telling them so far out it's pretty likely that the whole thing went in one ear and out the other.

She just wants day care now and what's going to happen three months from now isn't much of a concern. She may be pressed for Christmas break but she most likely doesn't even see that right now.

It was really nice of you to start the convo of them leaving but the chances of them accepting it when the time comes that you won't do the schedule they need there is most likely going to be conflict.

To me it sounds like you need this for yourself. You need them to stay now because of the money and you need to know that it has an end date within the forseable future to help you.

Taking this approach to cause as little conflict as possible can often lead to a lot of conflict especially when there are months of service in the middle of when you tell them and when you want them to DO something different.

[erinalexmom]

I see exactly what your saying Nan. However I actually dont need the money. I took them on when I wasnt full and I was worried I would need the money but I actually am full and have a waiting list so I dont really want the boys at all. I was just trying to be nice.
But I do see what you mean about her waiting till the last minute to find care and that we can have conflict over it. I hope it doesnt happen but if it does I did my part to be kind and I can look myself in the mirror and know I did the right thing no matter how she behaves.
Thank you for the reply, I now know to prepare myself for the possible conflict.

[nannyde]

I see exactly what your saying Nan. However I actually dont need the money. I took them on when I wasnt full and I was worried I would need the money but I actually am full and have a waiting list so I dont really want the boys at all. I was just trying to be nice.
But I do see what you mean about her waiting till the last minute to find care and that we can have conflict over it. I hope it doesnt happen but if it does I did my part to be kind and I can look myself in the mirror and know I did the right thing no matter how she behaves.
Thank you for the reply, I now know to prepare myself for the possible conflict.

I guess I'm confused as to why you would be on the verge of quitting and working an extra half day total a week for one family at a very difficult time of day with one of the kids being difficult AND with a wait list and then postpone the change for three months? :confused::confused:

Friend, they aren't going to look back at your termination and think a minute about that you cut it off in Sepatember or December. It doesn't make a lick of difference in being nice. A no is a no either way.

[erinalexmom]

Nan your killing me here! LOL You and I dont always agree about everything but I will admit that you are definitly right on this one. I was trying to give them time to find someone and I wanted to do it so that they had Christmas break to find someone and make bus changes. But I really should have just let it go ASAP. I never thought about the fact that I was working an extra half day a week. WOW! That is 5 hours I will have back to myself every week.
I wish I wouldve done it differently but I already told them that I would so I cant go back on my word.

[nannyde]

Nan your killing me here! LOL You and I dont always agree about everything but I will admit that you are definitly right on this one. I was trying to give them time to find someone and I wanted to do it so that they had Christmas break to find someone and make bus changes. But I really should have just let it go ASAP. I never thought about the fact that I was working an extra half day a week. WOW! That is 5 hours I will have back to myself every week.
I wish I wouldve done it differently but I already told them that I would so I cant go back on my word.

You can go back on your word.

Just tell her the truth. Tell her that with just that one hour per day for her family you are actually putting in equivallent to two full working day per month. Just by Christmas you will do a FULL WEEK of service JUST for these kids. It's too much and you just need to shore your hours up. I would also tell her you have a waiting list with clients who need hours that are more within your abilities. It's NOT personal. You are very fortunate to have a waiting list so now is the time to get your business to where you are happy.

Christmas break is the worst possible time for someone to make daycare arrangements. You are WAY better off doing it before the holidays.

Are you afraid of this Moms reaction? There's SOMETHING in this that is making you not take the better clients with the better hours. What is it?

I hear the "small town" reason for providers abiding by situations they are not happy with and it doesn't make sense to me. If you have a small town then the people know you and know that you have a family and your own happiness to think of. Saying you are far enough in your business to pick and choose your work hours and your clients is a GOOD thing about you NOT a bad thing.

[Jewels]

I understand why she did it the way she did, and why she wont want to go back on the word, its because they are friends, the same reason its so hard to do buisness with family and friends, it makes it so much harder to have the backbone with them,

[wdmmom]

I think I would probably wait a week or two and ask DCM at pick up one day how the search is coming along for a new provider. Just tell her if she finds someone that she's welcome to leave early as long as she gives you notice.

OR

Start advertising now...if you find someone, tell DCM that the family taking their stop needs care sooner than expected and that your last day will be _______.