Need a Pep Talk...Some Days I Wish I Could Quit!

[My4SunshineGirlsNY]

I have done unregistered daycare for 10 years before getting registered last Sept. It was so much easier/less stressful when it was just for extra money, when my husband's job paid the bills.

I have only been registered for almost one year and most days I'm ready to throw in the towel! I think it's the summer that is getting to me...if I can only make it to Sept. when school starts, I will be fine.

My own kids give me stress every day, they don't listen to me (despite all the time outs with my 4 1/2 year old) and I feel like a grouch all day long most days! I have 4 girls and when I ad daycare kids to the mix, arguements intensify. My daycare kids have their little issues too but mine seem to act out a lot because I'm mom, plus other daycare kids make more stress on them.

I want to be home with my kids and be there for them, but some days I feel that adding daycare kids is only making their behavior worse...the older girls get cranky because 9 year old daycare girl won't leave them alone...my youngest daughter is difficult by herself and she picks up any negative behavior she can. Some days I just feel like this daycare stuff isn't worth it and wish I had a part time job outside the home...yet I know if I did, I would miss my kids like crazy!! I have already been in those shoes when I went back to work for a short time when my youngest was 3.

I just need some motivation to keep going...I don't like feeling like a grump all day long and that's how it has been for the past few weeks now.

[swaddlebees]

when i feel like that i just go outside and get some sunshine. Sometimes it really helps. And thing about all the positive things about doing daycare

School starts back here next week...

[legomom922]

Did you take on more kids for the income only? Otherwise, I would say maybe you could cut back and let some go? Or sometimes it's just the wrong mix of kids. Is your DH working?

[nannyde]

Four of your own plus dck's.

Ugh

I can't even imagine.

[DWTC]

Did you take on more kids for the income only? Otherwise, I would say maybe you could cut back and let some go? Or sometimes it's just the wrong mix of kids. Is your DH working?

I agree...unless that isn't an option?

But like you said, things may calm down when school age kiddos are out of the picture. Just hang in there and maybe re-evaluate how many you will have next summer.

[melskids]

im having a tough summer too....hang in there. when the last one leaves at night i go lock myself in the bathroom for 1/2 hour to unwind. my kids KNOW not to even come close to the door... sometimes i read a mag, but most times i literally just sit there and veg out. in the a.m., before my kids are up and anyone else is here, i sit with a cup of coffee and just relax for 1/2 hr as well. coming here and hearing others issues (and advice) has also helped tremendously (sp)!!!!

[My4SunshineGirlsNY]

Did you take on more kids for the income only? Otherwise, I would say maybe you could cut back and let some go? Or sometimes it's just the wrong mix of kids. Is your DH working?

Yes, my DH is working and is making good money now (last year we were in the worst financial situation but now he's doing well at a good job). I know we could swing our bills with his income now and one or 2 of my daycare families but with 4 of my own kids, there is so much extra I always need....school clothes/supply shopping, birthdays, christmas, school pictures, cheerleading...oh the list could go on I'm sure.

I only have 3 year round families right now (took in my neice for the summer and part time kids 1-2 days/week). I have a health insurance issue I'm thinking about as well...I am losing my Healthcare insurance as I'm slightly over income now with my 3 year round families....if I downsize one family I can still qualify for my health insurance....however, that leaves me no room to take an extra kids here or there as I would be over income again...if I'm over income, the health insurance cost is going to be high so I'm trying to weigh if it's worth the few extra bucks by keeping all my families and paying high health insurance...I would have a whopping $27/week extra by keeping all my families and paying the higher health insurance....but if I downsize to keep my health insurance, I won't have the option to take in extra for extra money from time to time.

It's really a tough decision for me. Yes, I could use a lot less stress but I'm afraid to ever slip back into financial disaster that we just got out of. I don't have that bad of a daycare bunch (it's just all of them together all the time gets crazy most days!), in fact I have the BEST parents I am working with right now and it took a little weeding out to get here...I wouldn't even know which one I would let go or how to say it....all 3 would be devistated if I let them go. I have a ton of thinking to do...thanks for listening ladies!!

[My4SunshineGirlsNY]

when the last one leaves at night i go lock myself in the bathroom for 1/2 hour to unwind.

I don't think that would work for me, the moment I would do that, the kids would be banging on my door and I would spend all my time telling them to go away....my 4 1/2 year old is rather difficult and she would be pulling her sister's hair or hurting her in some way.

All my girls started Cheerleading practice yesterday so this evening I dropped them all off and came home for a little peace and it feels so good! I like to watch them, but I needed this for at least one night.

[legomom922]

Well you could always take one kid under the table, if you would be comfortable with that, and still keep the health insurance?

[jenh171]

I know exactly how you feel. I cared for 2 school age girls when my daughters were about 10 and 12 and it was extremely difficult in the summer. My daughters felt that their space was being invaded and it was just a constant tension every day. Now that I am caring for much younger children, it is a billion times easier. My daughters love the babies/toddlers and I don't think I'll consider caring for school age again until my daughters are much older. I'm just writing to let you know that you'll get through it, just like I did. I know how stressful it is to balance your own children's needs with the business you're trying to run, but there is a great benefit too, in having your children learn flexibility and tolerance every day. Stay calm and positive in the weeks to come and they'll take these cues from you. You can do it!

[boysx5]

oh I have been having a summer like that but this summer I filled all my daycare spots and the money has been so good. So what I do is treat myself to special things and take time for just me. I also have five boys of my own plus daycare so the summer days are long I just keep saying its not forever and school will start soon. Hang in there

[katie]

I soooo needed to hear that someone else was struggling today. Took on 3rd dck starting yesterday. He's 3 months, added to 1 yr old, 3 yr old and my 9 yr old, 7 yr old, 4 yr old, and 6 month old! 2 babies! I keep telling myself it's going to get easier as babies get older. Need the money. Have to have it. I feel you on the own kids feel like they don't want to share mom. I know if I was out working I would hate it and hate being away from my kids. I too did it before part time and hated it. I tell myself, I'm here with my kids and making an impact on other kids in a positive way. I know we will look back and smile that we had the time with our own kids. Thanks to the person who said it did get easier when her own kids got older. Hang it there!

[MN Mom]

VERY rough summer here also...you are not alone.

I actually broke down crying to my husband last night. I said (and this is going to sound terrible) "I didn't realize how much I disliked kids until I did day care." It's not that I don't like children...I do. I LOVE my own kids to death, I LOVE my nieces and nephews to death. I enjoy other children also, but not for 10+ hours a day 4-5 days a week =/

I am not a religious person, normally...but last night I prayed for God to either give me more strength or to shoulder some of the burden, because I was starting to take it out on my family in the evenings. I did not register for this semester of college because I couldn't handle the stress, lack of sleep, headaches last semester. Today, my prayer was answered. DCM informed me that she is quitting her job to be a SAHM, she said she has missed so much of their childhood and she has been spoiling them to compensate (HI eating issues w/6 year old, anger issues with the 9 year old, 8month old baby on the way to brat city). I told her "GOOD for you! I am so happy for you! You really deserve this time with them." and let a rather large sigh of relief after they left.

God does answer prayers...
Not only were my issues solved, these children are going to have a mother at home to raise them. So, he performed 2 miracles today.

[Lilbutterflie]

MN Mom, you are right on! I have struggled with "grumpy mom/daycare provider" issues a lot since I opened daycare a year ago. I really have found that when I just take a moment to pray for patience, I am so much happier and less angry throughout the day. I know not everyone is religious, but God really does answer prayers!
Also, I have read the book 1-2-3 Magic and one of the main topics of the book is how to discipline your children without EMOTION. I am still training myself to do this, but it does work & everyone is happier for it!!

[DanceMom]

the only thing that gets me through those days is knowing that I dont have to do this forever. There is no way I can do this forever. AT least not with 8 kids..its too much for one person to handle sanely. If it isnt the kids acting crazy its the parents...sometimes its too much.

I have worked outside of the home for most of my life however, so I do tell myself this is a heck of a lot better going to a job everyday and not seeing my kids all day, dressing up for an office, having a boss, driving hours to and from work etc etc..it beats that any day !