Super Nosy Won't Leave Daycare Mom

[Meeko]

I know it can be hard to confront a parent about rude behavior. Most of the time I don't have a problem addressing a issue, but anytime I feel anxious about the possiblity of a face to face meeting, I start out by posting a "general" letter. For this issue, I would remind all parents about the rules of the house and to remember to be respectful of my open and closed hours and my family's personal spaces and things. And remind them, that at the end of a long hard day, I'm ready to "clock out" and "go home".

I do fib a little in the letter by making it appear as if I'm having a problem with "several" parents. (The parents are not going to poll each other to find out who it is, and the parents that have followed the rules don't worry about what the letter says). I then end the letter by basically saying that if the letter doesn't do the trick, then I will have to address the "parents" personally, and I ask that they please take care of this matter and not put me in that uncomfortable position.

It works 99% of the time, but there are those parents who will test you.

I do this too. It will often do the trick without getting confrontational. Especially if the parents are "good" in other ways and yet seem to push boundaries in other areas.

[cheerfuldom]

so OP, what happened today??

[daycare]

I have not had a chance to read everyone's response in full.

I have learned that if you let it happen once, it will happen again and again. So in the future, don't entertain something you don't plan on doing again.

I would add to your rules about children that are NOT enrolled into your childcare. My insurance will not cover NON-daycare kids, so I have in my policy that NON-enrolled children may NOT play on the premises at any time. Right now I have a lot of kids with siblings that are not enrolled here and I stop them at the door and say thanks so much for waiting for mommy/daddy.

I would also add to your policy the quick pick up. If they have any questions or concerns, they can schedule a time to talk with you. I always welcome emails or invite them to call me during nap time if needed.

BE very up front about your polices and put your foot down. If the DCM sees you do nothing, then she will do the same. NOTHING...

[My3cents]

I know it can be hard to confront a parent about rude behavior. Most of the time I don't have a problem addressing a issue, but anytime I feel anxious about the possiblity of a face to face meeting, I start out by posting a "general" letter. For this issue, I would remind all parents about the rules of the house and to remember to be respectful of my open and closed hours and my family's personal spaces and things. And remind them, that at the end of a long hard day, I'm ready to "clock out" and "go home".

I do fib a little in the letter by making it appear as if I'm having a problem with "several" parents. (The parents are not going to poll each other to find out who it is, and the parents that have followed the rules don't worry about what the letter says). I then end the letter by basically saying that if the letter doesn't do the trick, then I will have to address the "parents" personally, and I ask that they please take care of this matter and not put me in that uncomfortable position.

It works 99% of the time, but there are those parents who will test you.

This is excellent advice and what I do too

I think some parents view us at "friends" and yes we are to an extent but they don't stop to think we want to be done with our job just as they want to be done. They just don't think of that.

I have one mom and I love her. I always enjoy our talks, but her child acts up- because she doesn't know who is in charge during this time. She is ready to be done as she is the last child and wants to leave like she has seen the other kids come and go. Often I am just ready to be done for the day by the time this mom rolls in and she is on the dot every day! Even though she gets done a half hour ago and is not even three minutes from my house. It annoys me, but I feel it is part of doing business- and I am often as guilty as she is because even though her child is going coo coo to go home and even as anxious as I am to be done for the day- I engage. I guess I have a hard time when it is say good bye to everything in the daycare about fifty million times before we put one foot out the door- to say goodbye fifty more times to me. Mom often goes home to an empty house and even knowing she loves her child immensely and is a great mom, it is just getting there and she must view that half hour as her time before tackling on the two year old and life outside of her job. I could make a stink out of it, I choose that I don't. What I love about being my own BOSS. I choose!
I will say for days that I have to be somewhere I have gotten better about saying ok- I gotta run and finding busy work to move them along. Not easy to do but I make myself do it. My Family counts too!

This topic has come up several times before- but I always find it helpful and see how it could be helpful to others starting out-

I wouldn't call it fibbing. I would call it stating your policies for everyone to know and be reminded.

Your house and your things. I would put the car out of reach of daycare kids if possible. It is too tempting and way too cool for kids not to want to try it out. Cover it with a blanket or move it. It is ok, to have things that the daycare is not allowed to play with or touch- Going into your personal space- at the interview make it known clear where daycare is and that your personal space is not to be entered at any time. Put it on licensing- not a lie, true. Licensing does not allow entrance to rooms that have not been approved by our state rules- and then add and that is also my personal space. Grab your backbone and run with it on this. Good practice for the next .....................fill in the blank....being nice I would prob say ding dong client- tee hee

Hope this helps and again excellent advice Scrump-

[momma2girls]

We lock our bedroom door. NOBODY is going in there (it is the only room "off limits" in our downstairs since the entire downstairs is a daycare ... 900+ sq. ft.). Nobody has ever attempted to go to our upstairs, but I would say, "Excuse me, but that is off limits."

I would start opening the door saying, "We will see you tomorrow!" and staring while smiling.

I had a daycare mom go into our bedroom, chasing after her boy once!! That was the end of that!! I now shut all doors, to all bedrooms, etc. before pickup!!

[momma2girls]

Thanks for the advice! I guess my biggest issue with her is getting her out of my damn house ! She wants the infant grams daily but then why do i have to sit and talk with her for 20 minutes. I do think she got the hint last time when my children were having a quick tie me over snack and she asked them why they were having snack and we ignored her. she said ok don't answer me. :: And good idea on the because of insurance for siblings i never thought of that before. i need to be better about just handing the baby saying how her day was and just walking away. she is the type though that if you don't sit and kiss her ass then she will pull but maybe that will not be such a bad thing

have the child/children ready to leave, or I play with them out in the front yard, so when they pull up, they are ready to go home. I give them all the info, I need to, and turn around and say goodnight!!! It works!!!

[providerandmomof4]

I totally agree. If you let it happen once.... I don't know how many times I've told my husband, "I should have never let them start that!" It's really hard for me to confront parents until I'm really mad and don't care if they pull their kids, before I'll say something. I just expect people to give me the respect that I give them and unfortunately I've come to learn that they won't unless you force them to.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I totally agree. If you let it happen once.... I don't know how many times I've told my husband, "I should have never let them start that!" It's really hard for me to confront parents until I'm really mad and don't care if they pull their kids, before I'll say something. I just expect people to give me the respect that I give them and unfortunately I've come to learn that they won't unless you force them to.

It's a crazy world we live in. I'm always completely horrified by the parents that think they are the boss of my business.