Providers & Alcohol

[dEHmom]

All this to say, parents need "adult/alone" time to keep their marriage strong, and if that means getting a sitter for one night a month (or even one night a week!) then that's what they should do. Who are we to judge what goes on in their homes - we aren't there, we don't know.

yep! AMEN!

I am lucky, because my mom usually take all 3 of my kids approx once a month to 3 months (depending on how busy everyone is) for the weekend (usually 1 to 2 nights at a time).

We desperately need this (well I do more than hubs) because it is our time to reconnect. We usually do cleaning and major work (painting, home improvements, car repairs, etc) that we just cannot do with the kids home.

Even if parents chose to go to the bar, or to dinner/movie, etc every friday night, that is still 6 nights a week they are with their children. I believe some parents don't deserve to have kids and definitely do not spend enough time with them. It's not bad parenting to take 1 night a week for date night.

[Unregistered]

What I find funny is how in the last 10-15 years parents need to have a date night. What did people do before this? I remember babysitting as a teenager but it wasn't the rage for parents to have "date nights". It seems like back then family time was valued also. Now everything is about "me" time.

Yes to the comment about if parents take one night for themselves then there are six others. True, if the parents aren't going those other six nights also. I have parents that have sport nights for themselves, going back to work after picking up little one, night out with the girls, the list could go on. Yes, also to the commenter about going to bed after the kids go to bed-I know of children that parents put to bed at 7:30 (older children 7+ years) So you spend 2 1/2 hours with your child out of 24 and then still need to go out.

I would personally like to keep mine up a little bit later, work on homework, read and just be together than worry about it I'm getting me time. I knew when I had children that it was for at least 18 years. If I was worried about myself I shouldn't have had children.

[jen2651]

I am responding to the poster who said that parents need date nights...you certainly don't have to go out to do that. A few years ago (after our 1st son was born) both my husband and I were having a rough time. We both made a commitment that every Wednesday evening was our night. We never actually went anywhere for the most part, and if we did, we took our son. Now I know that seems contradicting but the biggest thing was we devoted that night to us. Sometimes we would go eat supper together (son was 4 months so still easy!) and then put baby to bed and play monopoly, or scrabble, or rent a movie, or have a beer. BUT, there was no interrupting our night. The only thing that got in the way of our nights was church during Easter!

I know it sounds dorky and super old lady, but this truly was what saved our relationship. There are times now that I whip out the Monopoly game and we both understand that we have been putting ourselves on the back burner. Things are much more hectic with a 3.5 year old and a 7 month old, but the Monopoly game does it every time!

I think it is important to have time, but sometimes it can be at home! After all, isn't that where all the fun happens anyway?!

[dEHmom]

I am responding to the poster who said that parents need date nights...you certainly don't have to go out to do that. A few years ago (after our 1st son was born) both my husband and I were having a rough time. We both made a commitment that every Wednesday evening was our night. We never actually went anywhere for the most part, and if we did, we took our son. Now I know that seems contradicting but the biggest thing was we devoted that night to us. Sometimes we would go eat supper together (son was 4 months so still easy!) and then put baby to bed and play monopoly, or scrabble, or rent a movie, or have a beer. BUT, there was no interrupting our night. The only thing that got in the way of our nights was church during Easter!

I know it sounds dorky and super old lady, but this truly was what saved our relationship. There are times now that I whip out the Monopoly game and we both understand that we have been putting ourselves on the back burner. Things are much more hectic with a 3.5 year old and a 7 month old, but the Monopoly game does it every time!

I think it is important to have time, but sometimes it can be at home! After all, isn't that where all the fun happens anyway?!

My dh and I don't have a lot of extra money to go out anywhere. So paying a babysitter, going for dinner and a movie just really doesn't happen. But for bday's or other presents family often gives us dinner gift cards, and movie vouchers etc. So hubs and I drop the kids off with the family member who gave it to us, and we go. That's like 1 or 2 times a year, ! it's sad!

But we basically do everything as a family. We enjoy taking the kids for bike rides, walks, tobogganing, to play soccer in the field, etc. and it's all free!

For us it's more important to create the memories for our children, and to show them that family is the most important thing in the world.

But I still think a date night for mom and dad is necessary to keep the harmony. I don't think it has to mean going out anywhere. DH and I will often rent 2 movies, watch one with the kids, put them to bed, and then watch ours alone. or something like that.

When times get really rough (like they are now, where dh and I are ready to strangle each other), my mom usually takes them, and we have a weekend to bond together again. I am spoiled as I mentioned earlier, in that I have a mom who will take them. All the other grandparents are too old, and always have an excuse, and dh's mom who is younger than any other grandparent says she cannot handle all 3 kids at once! BS! she ran a daycare for 15 yrs, , and she can't handle 3 kids who dress themselves, go the the potty themselves (minus 1 who can't wipe his butt yet!), and they feed themselves, love to clean, etc. But that's ok, because we'd have to visit with her if she took the kids.

[JenNJ]

EVERYONE needs me time! Parents included. I hardly consider working each day "me time" so I don't consider it that for my clients either. I think it is SOOOO important not to peg yourself as a mother/father ONLY and forget who you are a as person or as a couple. Everyone needs time to follow their interests, passions, and goals in life. Including parents!

My husband and I work a lot of hours combined. After my doors close for the night and H arrives home, we are all about the kids and family time. We eat dinner together as a family, we do a fun activity or a quick trip to the park with the dog, etc. Twice a month, my parents or my in-laws babysit my kids on a Friday or Saturday night so that my husband and I can go out and have fun as a couple. I hardly think that makes us selfish.

Happy parents = happy kids. Here is a study to prove it:

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/for-happier-kids-dine-together-and-hang-out-new-research-claims-2263974.html

[normad]

I understand your worry as a mother but honestly its nothing to worry about as long as your provider doesn't drink WHILE actually taking care of your child or getting drunk out in the streets being inappropriate and what not then that shouldn't be a problem. hey we all need some break every once in a while maybe its your provider's way of relaxing after a hard week's work, its Friday night anyways.