2 Hour Naps @ Daycare?

[Cradle2crayons]

I second(and third) the new provider idea

I require nap time for all kids 5 and under who are here all day. That nap time is from 1230 pm until whenever they wake up. My sibling group's parents told me even at home on the weekends they have "sleeping trouble at night" and refuse to take naps at home. They are my first two asleep here and on date nights for parents I've kept them overnight without the FIRST problem.

HOWEVER, from the other side, when my now ten year old stayed in a daycare setting years ago, both licensed and unlicensed, they had trouble getting her to nap and if she did nap, bedtime was a nightmare.

So, I'd have to say, this issue I think is completely individual and should be handled such. My almost 5 year old son doesn't like naps, but still needs them, and does take them, no option. My 14 month old dcg takes two naps while in my care. At first, I was doing the one nap time and she was irritable by 1000 am and by nap time was so tired she didn't nap well. Now that its twice a day, she's doing awesome. Yet another scenario, my developmentally and physically delayed precious dcg is a late afternoon arrival (around 400 pm) and is put in bed same time as one other dcg and my personal kids and is picked up around midnight with my other late dck. So all of my kids are very different

[Unregistered]

I have done home daycare for over 16 plus years! It never ceases to amaze or sadden me that some parents ( I realize not all) have their children in daycare for 8 or more hours a day, pick them up 5pm or later, rush home to feed them, haul the kids to activities several nights out of the week and then come to daycare the next morning, frustrated with the provider that their child fell asleep at 9:00p the night before instead of 8pm! Yep it must be that they are are napping way too long at daycare, nevermind that there possibly is no bedtime routine, kids are being dragged around all evening and then rushed home and expected to fall asleep immediately! In some cases the parents I have had over the years have told me that bedtime is at such and such a time, I know what time they are picking up their child from my house...many times they are spending a max of 2-3hrs per day with their child! The parents are coming home exhausted from their workday, and have little energy or paitence to spend with their own child, they don't want to deal with bedtime behaviors and can't wait to lay their child down to have some "me" time! I have bitten my tongue many times when a parent has asked me to stop napping their child because they are not going to bed at night for them! I would love to have the guts to say..."Maybe your child missed you yesterday and just needs some extra time with mom!" Yes kids do act up with they want attention! Sad and frustrating from a providers stand point as well!

[Unregistered]

I live in Australia and my 4 1/2 year old son is patted to sleep everyday - much to my disgust..... he is a very active boy and has lots of energy; if he doesnt sleep at day care he is asleep in bed at 7.30-8pm at night and sleeps for a good 12 hours.
I dont believe all centres should have the policy that all children are required to sleep (happy with a rest or quiet time) - its like a one size fits all policy for clothing and it doesnt work.
When my 4 1/2 year old is still awake and hard to settle at 10.30pm at night - then I beg to differ on the sleeping policy. As a parent of 2 children - one who is almost 9 and is constantly getting disturbed by his wide awake brother late at night - then having the difficulty to get them out of bed in the morning as they've had a late night - its a viscious , unhealthy cycle.
I certainly do not think it is rude, selfish or inconsiderate of parent to request for their child not to sleep and some comments in this forum have really hit a nerve. Parents know their children best. My son is at daycare 6-7 hours a day at most, 2 of those hours are sleeping times - which like I said before is encouraged by rocking, patting and soft music - I dont agree at all. Just to appease the lunch roster, get time to do dishes or aleviate staffing issues - surely that cannot be a good enough reason to disrupt the childs sleeping patterns in an evening, which on a regular basis has an effect on a much grander scale in a family.

I wonder when the day care centre closes its doors a the end of the day, that they have any thought for the turmutulous evening faced by a lot of parents whos child has had a lengthy sleep at kindy.

I don't see this as an issue of time to do the dishes, but as an issue of teaching a child how important rest is to the body. Rest and sleep are essential to ALL humans, and most of us are not getting enough. If the child is falling asleep, then he DOES need the sleep. I would never ask a provider to keep a child awake for my own convenience (being able to put him to sleep at 7:30PM, for example). A tired child needs sleep, period. If a child does not wish to sleep, then it makes sense to provide quiet time in another area, but quiet time is necessary from the older children to ensure that they don't awaken the younger children who also have a need (and right) to sleep.

[DaisyMamma]

2 hours is totally standard. Dropping in at naptime? I personally would not be too happy. Any other time of the day is kosher, but naptime is not cool imo.

No! I would be very unhappy.

You need to communicate with your provider with what your child needs.
Most daycares are a MINIMUM of two hours for 3 years. 6 year olds generally don't nap, but might have rest time or quiet time.

[Unregistered]

My 4 yr old NEVER takes a nap when she is at home, but when she is at daycare she sleeps 1-2 hrs. I don't agree with the people who say she NEEDS the sleep, because guess what happens when she sleeps that long? She is up until 11 pm that night!! This happened yesterday/last night and as result she only got 8 hrs of sleep last night before having to wake up to go to daycare where she OF COURSE slept 2 hrs today because she was exhausted from not sleeping last night. So now, here I am as I type watching my wide awake chi,d quietly play with babies with not a tired bone in her body at 9:30 pm. Guess we're destined for a repeat tonight. Thanks, daycare.

[Unregistered]

My 4 yr old NEVER takes a nap when she is at home, but when she is at daycare she sleeps 1-2 hrs. I don't agree with the people who say she NEEDS the sleep, because guess what happens when she sleeps that long? She is up until 11 pm that night!! This happened yesterday/last night and as result she only got 8 hrs of sleep last night before having to wake up to go to daycare where she OF COURSE slept 2 hrs today because she was exhausted from not sleeping last night. So now, here I am as I type watching my wide awake chi,d quietly play with babies with not a tired bone in her body at 9:30 pm. Guess we're destined for a repeat tonight. Thanks, daycare.

Kids very rarely behave exactly the same at home as they do for others. So, the same stands to reason for sleep too. Your kid probably doesn't WANT to sleep (what kid actually does? They'll miss out on everything, of course!) but at daycare, there is a routine and rules to abide by and most kids will follow the rules, no problem. You can set the same rules at home, but if you do not follow-through the same way, the child probably is going to test you a lot more than they will their dcp. Maybe YOU have to step up and tell her it's time for the dolls to be put away and lay her down like the provider does at nap. Chances are, though, that if you haven't had this routine down the WHOLE time, you'll have a heck of a fight on your hands for at least 2 weeks (That's if you stick with it). My DCK's used to sleep from 12p-2p (usually got up around 1:30 though but the baby would sleep til 2). They ALSO went to bed on time. Why? Because the parents I had enforced their bed time with their kids. They had rituals. Dinner, bath, teeth brushed, bedtime. Every night was the same unless unforseen circumstances arose (rarely). The kids knew what was expected of them and it wasn't a problem. It's only a problem if you make it one and if you do not enforce the rules in your house. And if you did, your child would NOT be up PLAYING at 9:30 at night. Even if they are not "tired" why would you let them do something stimulating when you want them to sleep??

[Familycare71]

All I can say is if you don't like your current providers rules- switch providers, hire a nanny or stay home!
It really is that simple- I WILL NoT keep a child awake so that a parent has an easier time at home- it disrupts the group and that child is generally overtired, cranky and getting disciplined for no good reason at all.
If you don't like it change it- and if I had a parent dropping in at nap time frequently I would be terming so the issue wouldn't be an issue for long!

[Unregistered]

On behalf of working parents out there...

Hmm, this is a little disappointing to hear. Especially the comment from the daycare provider about not working with the parent to tweak the nap schedule in order to assist the parents at night (except she was much more blunt in saying "I'm not going to change what I'm doing to make it easier on the parents during the evening!"). Obviously working parents need the support of daycare providers and the approach to child care should be partnered and lock-step. While I totally get that daycare providers need a break, what they fail to realize is that they can sometimes be putting their own needs above the needs of the child. As a parent who has a child in daycare, I completely understand the need for my daycare provider to get a break during the day and that this usually happens at nap time. What they may fail to understand is that every child is different. While my oldest napped daily until four years old and still went to bed and woke at a decent hour, my youngest needs much less sleep and his schedule needs to be tweaked to accommodate his developmental changes. When my youngest naps too long during the day, he ends up falling asleep much later that night, then waking during the night and waking very early. Because of this, he is missing sleep and then needs to catch up on that sleep during the day where he takes an even longer nap (which daycare is all too happy to allow) thus making he fall asleep even later and wake even later and on and on. It becomes a vicious cycle. I think that comment about "well if the child is sleeping then he NEEDS a nap" is a total cop-out and is very short-sighted. Yes, in the moment, given everything else that is going on, yes, in that moment he needs a nap. But if his naps were to be tweaked somewhat, he'd have an easier time falling asleep and staying asleep and would get the total number of hours that he needs. This isn't about making it easier for the daycare provider during the day or easier for the parent in the evenings, it's about making sure that the child is well rested and has a schedule that suits them. Maybe this means capping the nap, or skipping it every other day until a new routine is established. This unwillingness to work together with the parent and instead get very defensive and only think about how this change may affect the daycare provider is extremely disappointing and selfish on the part of the daycare provider. Enough so that I will be switching my daycare provider in the next month. Hopefully there are providers out there who really do care about the child's needs and not their daily "break".

[Leigh]

My 4 yr old NEVER takes a nap when she is at home, but when she is at daycare she sleeps 1-2 hrs. I don't agree with the people who say she NEEDS the sleep, because guess what happens when she sleeps that long? She is up until 11 pm that night!! This happened yesterday/last night and as result she only got 8 hrs of sleep last night before having to wake up to go to daycare where she OF COURSE slept 2 hrs today because she was exhausted from not sleeping last night. So now, here I am as I type watching my wide awake chi,d quietly play with babies with not a tired bone in her body at 9:30 pm. Guess we're destined for a repeat tonight. Thanks, daycare.

Of course a 4 year old NEEDS the sleep. My child's doctor told me just last month that they NEED naps far longer than they are allowed to have them. That children should nap at LEAST through age 6.

I have a 4 year old daycare child whose parents tell me he doesn't sleep at home because of his naps here. The doctor says he guarantees it's because the child doesn't have a firm schedule at home. Guess what? The child does not have a firm schedule at home. Sometimes they don't serve dinner until 8:30 at night. Sometimes it is at 6. The child is sometimes put to bed at 9, sometimes at, and I am not joking, 12:30!

If a child's bedtime is SET IN STONE, if there is a regular routine and the children are put to bed and expected to stay there without watching TV or playing games, the kid will sleep at night.

I am not trying to criticize you, only letting you know that ALL 4-year olds NEED a nap. Of course, getting the child and the parent to agree is the issue.

I seriously recommend taking a good look at your routine. WHY is your child playing at 9:30? Your child should be in bed with the lights out-no toys. Don't blame the daycare, take a look at home first. If your child wasn't tired at daycare, your child would not nap-simple as that.

[Unregistered]

As a provider it is not just about getting a 'break'. It is also not about just meeting the needs of one child. It is about meeting the needs of the group as a whole. In order to make sure the entire group gets the sleep they need, all children must have quiet time each day. Having one up and about disrupts the sleep of the others in care. My current group loves when their children are all well rested. In helps ensure that they have a pleasent evening from pick up until bedtime. They always know when nap was disrupted, as it effects the quality of the evening they have.

[Leigh]

Hmm, this is a little disappointing to hear. Especially the comment from the daycare provider about not working with the parent to tweak the nap schedule in order to assist the parents at night (except she was much more blunt in saying "I'm not going to change what I'm doing to make it easier on the parents during the evening!"). Obviously working parents need the support of daycare providers and the approach to child care should be partnered and lock-step. While I totally get that daycare providers need a break, what they fail to realize is that they can sometimes be putting their own needs above the needs of the child. As a parent who has a child in daycare, I completely understand the need for my daycare provider to get a break during the day and that this usually happens at nap time. What they may fail to understand is that every child is different. While my oldest napped daily until four years old and still went to bed and woke at a decent hour, my youngest needs much less sleep and his schedule needs to be tweaked to accommodate his developmental changes. When my youngest naps too long during the day, he ends up falling asleep much later that night, then waking during the night and waking very early. Because of this, he is missing sleep and then needs to catch up on that sleep during the day where he takes an even longer nap (which daycare is all too happy to allow) thus making he fall asleep even later and wake even later and on and on. It becomes a vicious cycle. I think that comment about "well if the child is sleeping then he NEEDS a nap" is a total cop-out and is very short-sighted. Yes, in the moment, given everything else that is going on, yes, in that moment he needs a nap. But if his naps were to be tweaked somewhat, he'd have an easier time falling asleep and staying asleep and would get the total number of hours that he needs. This isn't about making it easier for the daycare provider during the day or easier for the parent in the evenings, it's about making sure that the child is well rested and has a schedule that suits them. Maybe this means capping the nap, or skipping it every other day until a new routine is established. This unwillingness to work together with the parent and instead get very defensive and only think about how this change may affect the daycare provider is extremely disappointing and selfish on the part of the daycare provider. Enough so that I will be switching my daycare provider in the next month. Hopefully there are providers out there who really do care about the child's needs and not their daily "break".

The providers are not out to get their "daily break". They standardize nap time to benefit ALL of the children in their care, not just one of them. Naptime is standardized for ALL kids because it would be chaos to have parents dictate that this kid naps at 9, this one at 11, this one at 12:30, etc. They must all nap at the SAME time, or none of them are ABLE to nap. Believe me, this is exactly how it happens. Selfish is to expect your provider to change their entire program and how it has worked for years to accommodate your wants. Put your child to bed at bedtime, and your child will learn to sleep.

[craftymissbeth]

The providers are not out to get their "daily break". They standardize nap time to benefit ALL of the children in their care, not just one of them. Naptime is standardized for ALL kids because it would be chaos to have parents dictate that this kid naps at 9, this one at 11, this one at 12:30, etc. They must all nap at the SAME time, or none of them are ABLE to nap. Believe me, this is exactly how it happens. Selfish is to expect your provider to change their entire program and how it has worked for years to accommodate your wants. Put your child to bed at bedtime, and your child will learn to sleep.

Any parent that expects this ^ from their provider should consider a nanny instead. If you (general you) disagree that daycares should provide care that is beneficial to the group rather than the individual then a nanny is the best option IMO.

[Rockgirl]

Personally, I wouldn't choose a provider who works 10-12 hour days with no break. As providers, we don't get the standard 15 minute breaks twice a day that most get in the workplace. Naptime is it. And we can't go meet a friend or run errands on our lunchbreak. I'm not saying these things to complain. Just pointing out that naptime is our only time to regroup. Why would a parent want to take that away, and as a result, have an overworked, exhausted caregiver for their child?

[e.j.]

As a provider it is not just about getting a 'break'. It is also not about just meeting the needs of one child. It is about meeting the needs of the group as a whole. In order to make sure the entire group gets the sleep they need, all children must have quiet time each day. Having one up and about disrupts the sleep of the others in care.

This exactly!

[JenNJ]

I agree that kids all have different needs, but in reality it is about what the majority of kids in a group need. If 4/5 kids need to nap, then that one child being awake disrupts the others. I don't know ANY child who can remain quiet for 2+ hours per day unless they are asleep. So quiet activities aren't going to work.

My children are here each day and I require my own 4.5 year old to nap each day. She sleeps 3+ hours, my longest napper. Ans she is asleep each night at 8:30pm each night. She can stay up easily and skip nap, but its not what is best for the group of kids, so she must nap. During the summer when my school aged son is here, he must sleep or go outdoors during nap so he doesn't disturb the others. He isn't able to stay quiet that long every afternoon.

While I understand not all kids need naps or that not all parents want their child to nap, the choice is ultimately up to the parent. They can make that choice by finding a preschool, center, provider, family member or nanny who agrees not to have the child nap.