Doing Time: What It Really Means To Grow Up In Daycare

[Ariana]

Good post

I think it's so interesting that the author pounded the "teacher" concept and how it was so misleading to parents. I think it's a diservice to the staff assistants too. I think they get called TEACHER by parents and directors but inside their heart they know that if they really WERE teachers that they would be given a LOT more pay and respect.

It feels like the centers use this word first to deceive the parents into thinking their kid gets school... but also to give the employee something GREAT that's free to the center. Saying... or calling them "teachers" is free for the centers... doesn't cost them anything but in reality the concept of a 'teacher" goes right out the window the second the person hits the door. When you have the responsibility to teach but not the skill set to really do it.. you can't be happy in the job.

I never looked at it that way but you're right in most instances. Luckily when I worked at a centre we made similar wages to regular teachers, so starting salary at $43K and we have the same union. My particular job was very coveted and it made leaving extremely difficult. It's so sad that this is the ONLY ECE job in my city that pays a liveable respectable wage. Before I worked there I was making $10 an hour That's barely above poverty levels.

Right now in Ontario ECE's are being paired with teachers in the full-day kindergarten. According to all the information on it, the ECE is an equal partner to the teacher (leads class equally etc) yet only makes $30K compared to $50K for a teacher. So we're supposed to do the exact same job for less money? How is that for perpetuating the stereotype that ECE's are worthless and creating low morale. We have more education in terms of child development yet we're seen as less educated and 'worth' less yet they need our expertise in the classroom. I have even seen comments on FB about whether or not parents should give the ECE's Christmas gifts....again we're seen as worthless assistants to the God-like teacher. barf.

[Unregistered]

Nightline

I thought of this book when I saw Nightline this weekend. A whole inside investigation into who is working at day care centers.

[3girls]

I tried out three different centers trying to find a good one before I finally opened my HDC. ALL of them were cheating ratios and cutting corners.

The last one I worked at was great for about a year, I had a class of 7 children that I just loved. After that the director started ramping up the numbers. I quit when she enrolled a 13th child into my class (limit is 8) and refused to add an assistant. I reported the daycare several times and nothing was done.

Don't trust them about the background checks either. At the last center there was an employee who had had 3 of her children removed by social services, one on probation for drugs, and one on probation for assault. The first one quit on her own accord, the second worked there until she blew it and went to prison, and the third worked there for several more years.

Children absorb the values of their caregivers. Children are not safer in a center just because its a center.

[Unregistered]

Those poor kids. And why didn't the parents notice or say anything when they saw the numbers go way up???

[Creek]

I never looked at it that way but you're right in most instances. Luckily when I worked at a centre we made similar wages to regular teachers, so starting salary at $43K and we have the same union. My particular job was very coveted and it made leaving extremely difficult. It's so sad that this is the ONLY ECE job in my city that pays a liveable respectable wage. Before I worked there I was making $10 an hour That's barely above poverty levels.

Right now in Ontario ECE's are being paired with teachers in the full-day kindergarten. According to all the information on it, the ECE is an equal partner to the teacher (leads class equally etc) yet only makes $30K compared to $50K for a teacher. So we're supposed to do the exact same job for less money? How is that for perpetuating the stereotype that ECE's are worthless and creating low morale. We have more education in terms of child development yet we're seen as less educated and 'worth' less yet they need our expertise in the classroom. I have even seen comments on FB about whether or not parents should give the ECE's Christmas gifts....again we're seen as worthless assistants to the God-like teacher. barf.

That totally pisses me off that ECE's make so much less than the teachers. My DD will be starting kindergarten in September. It is now full day, and she will have a teacher and an ECE in her classroom. We actually go this evening to the school. I called the school and asked if the teacher and ece were going to be there, and she said well of course the teachers would be there but she had no idea about the ece's. Just goes to show how undervalued we really are as a supposed community of educated professionals.

[Unregistered]

Could Not Have Said It Better Myself

I hope more and more people read this. lovethis

I would LOVE to be put out of business by Moms and Dads staying home with their kids during their tender years. I know it sounds hypocritical, but it is how I feel...

I try really hard to bridge the gap, but I know it will never be the same... I feel guilty knowing what the parents are missing out on, too. You never get a second chance .

I rationalize it because it is what allows me to be home with my own....BUT the guilt stays, nontheless...

These words of yours are what I have been preaching since I closed my commercial facility in 2008.

[Unregistered]

These words of yours are what I have been preaching since I closed my commercial facility in 2008.

amen. I feel the same way and couldn't have put it any better.

[Kaddidle Care]

I don't have a Kindle. Does anyone know where I can get this in a paperback?

[daycaremum]

I never looked at it that way but you're right in most instances. Luckily when I worked at a centre we made similar wages to regular teachers, so starting salary at $43K and we have the same union. My particular job was very coveted and it made leaving extremely difficult. It's so sad that this is the ONLY ECE job in my city that pays a liveable respectable wage. Before I worked there I was making $10 an hour That's barely above poverty levels.

Right now in Ontario ECE's are being paired with teachers in the full-day kindergarten. According to all the information on it, the ECE is an equal partner to the teacher (leads class equally etc) yet only makes $30K compared to $50K for a teacher. So we're supposed to do the exact same job for less money? How is that for perpetuating the stereotype that ECE's are worthless and creating low morale. We have more education in terms of child development yet we're seen as less educated and 'worth' less yet they need our expertise in the classroom. I have even seen comments on FB about whether or not parents should give the ECE's Christmas gifts....again we're seen as worthless assistants to the God-like teacher. barf.

To be fair (I am an ECE who has many ECE friends working in kindergarten), the ECE is an equal as in working with the children. BUT all the extra developmental documentation required now (a portfolio is being done for each child), the testing, the report cards, the curriculum is all the responsibility of the teacher. The ECE's actual role in the class is to take the boards educational requirements and help turn them into a playbased experience. In reality the teacher has much more responsibility and work load as far as the paper work end of things. The ECE is there for the classroom hours of the day helping present the curriculum and working with the students (as well as prep work for activities and conferencing with the teacher about specific children and how to implement curriculum.) There day ends when the school day ends. This is why they are paid less. Now if they ever move to having ECE's solely running kindergarten classrooms instead of having a teacher in there too (which has been talked about for the last thirty some odd years) Then I would say the ECE needs to be paid more because they would have all the responsibility that now lies with the teacher.

Now you also have to keep in mind the scenario I have laid out is the perfect one. In reality in a lot of classrooms, since it is really up to the teacher on how to partner with the ECE, a lot of ECE's are doing very little other than prepping crafts, setting up centres and interacting with the children. My friend who is in this type of classroom says, "That's fine, pay me $20 plus an hour to do crafts, I'll take it."

[MyAngels]

I don't have a Kindle. Does anyone know where I can get this in a paperback?

If you can't find it in print form there is a free kindle app for PC, android and iPhone. That's how I read it.
ETA - it looks like I can loan this out, so if you want to borrow it just PM me your email and I'll get t to you.

[Cradle2crayons]

I never went to daycare as a child. From age 6, I was left alone with my sister, age 8 every morning at six am until every afternoon at 600 pm.

I had to get up, make mine and my sisters breakfast, we got ready for school and our ride took us to school and brought us home.

We stayed there in the afternoon alone until 600 pm.

During the summer, we were alone all day six days a week.

I often wonder how different it would have been had we had a sitter etc.

At age 13, I had to drive five miles to school without a license, as most of the rural kids did. The one town cop knew it, and he sat at the town limits and kept an eye on us.

Personally I think it would have been better to have had daycare. There was no daycare where I grew up.

But my neighbors five miles away often stopped to check on us and bring us afternoon snacks.

[BABYLUVER21]

From working to daycare back to working mom

Here is what I have found out.

I worked and our kids went to daycare for 3 hours per day 3 days per week in the beginning. My husband or I always switched shifts so that one or the other would be home the MAJORITY of the time. That said, I felt that I missed out a lot. I decided to do in-home child care and opened up my licensed facility.

When I opened up my facility, I began 24 hours. I felt that it was too much and cut it to 15 then 12-13. I would open as early as 5am and close at 6pm but no one would get more than 12 hours at once. I was EXHAUSTED.

I loved my job at first. In fact, I was just making money all over the place. The first 8 years were perfect as far as the business went. But, I noticed that my kids were acting out. My kids wanted more attention than I could give them. While I may have been home, I feel that I missed a lot that way because I always had some other obligation to someone else and their children. My husband and I could not go out to dinner because planning for it always failed. The parents needed me. No vacations were had and by the time I was "off", my kids wanted attention that I couldn't really give them because hey, I had to clean up and plan activities and menus and before you knew it, it was the kids' bed times. It was no better than working out of the home, except I was there all day and the kids saw me taking care of the 'other' kids all the time. (While I am fairly certain I tried to keep things equal, I know that's not how the kids feel).

I was limited on things I could do as well due to space in my car. It's not like we could just go out on a whim. Then, as the kids got older and started to go to school, the daycare started working less and less. I couldn't really take a lot of youngers because dragging them around was not the ideal situation. Teachers' conferences would be during the day---when I had lots of kids. I couldn't concentrate on my own kids education because I was busy with other kids. It was like the teacher only got 1/2 my attention. And sports? I'd have to rush to sports, meet parents everywhere and hope that I could make my kids events on time. The only plus to this was I was always off on weekends, so if they had a night game that I'd miss, at least I knew I could be there Saturdays.

Then came the last 2 years. Economy tanked and with it, the business. My normal 6 kids all ended up leaving around the same time. My first kid moved 3 hours away because mom could not find a good job as a teacher in our area. Then came the 2nd child whose father was active duty Army and went to MO. Shortly after, the 3rd/4th/5th kids mom got out of the program she was in (state aided daycare) and could no longer afford daycare. And the 6th kid about 6 months later was active duty Army also and went to TX. During the interim I had some drop in kids, but the dynamic was not the same. I had the other children years and it was very hard to let them go. Then I got 2 children as replacements for 2 years and then a bunch of drop-in parents. The 2 children I got as replacements ended up as emergency foster children for 3 straight months. Then 'dad' decided to take over and took the kids away while mom was still in the hospital with cancer. I was never more upset in my life when my 2 babies left, even with my others, these 2 somehow were the hardest to let go.

After those 2 ended up leaving, I had nothing but trouble parents. Some were on state aid, and after several parents "daycare hopping" and trying to avoid copays, I stopped taking state aid. I just felt like they were sending me the types of people I didn't want around my family or kids.

So I started my cash only. I had some drop in people, regulars, but no one really stable. When it came to payments or late fees, parents would just leave one by one. I even had 2 of the parents, after trying to collect, call CPS and say that I abused their children. Of course, those cases were unfounded, but still! It was not a good situation. I just couldn't find good parents.

Then the final summer I did daycare, I found one parent and had only 2 kids in care, but the kids were great! At first, so was mom. Then the stories came. Everyone always has a story. So, for 2 months, I kept her kids for her with VERY little pay, and come to find out her own mom outs her as lying about being low-income and told me not to settle for the pay I was getting.

I quit 2 weeks later. For about a month or so, I had zero prospects. No phone calls, no children, no interviews. It was peaceful. I could do more with my kids, so I took advantage of this time.

Then I started getting calls, but people were trying to get me to change everything about my curriculum, my pay, and my hours. They would not respect me, my time or my family's time. I decided that enough was enough and started applying for outside jobs.

I ended up frustrated, sad, and hopeless and thought I'd never get hired ANYWHERE and would have to go back to a failing business.

Luckily, about 3 weeks later, I started getting job offers, and I took all of them. The day I was supposed to start the highest paying job @ $15/hr as a per diem nurse's aid, I got a job for more money and full time. I jumped on it.

The problem? What to do with my kids! They are all SA's so I figured it'd be easy to find someone who could be there during the year and during summer. It was! I got to choose my shift, and my husband rearranged his again. I now work 10 hour days as does he, so we've finally limited our daycare needs to 2 days per week.

This means: My kids can do their practices, lessons, after school functions AND one of us can still be there for all their Saturday games! They still get socialization at their child care but only for 3 hours during school 2x per week and only 20 hours during summer.

While I hate having to get up in the cold, scrape my car, traipse up to my job in traffic, and I don't even really like what I do (it's redundant work), this has been the best decision ever! My kids are getting mom and dad MORE than when mom was home 24/7.

We are more energized and are more interested in getting away from the house and guess what, we don't have to wait for anyone or to rely on THEIR schedules. We also get paid vacations and holidays without having to fight anyone for them or to wait for our pay or to get excuses as to why we can't be paid or shouldn't be paid for a day off.

I feel that every situation is different, but in our case, the way it worked out, I don't think I'd change anything except maybe WHAT I actually do all day. But no matter how bored I can be at work, I start at one time and get off at one time EVERY SINGLE DAY I work!

I would NEVER EVER return to daycare unless as a last resort. I loved the kids, very very much, but could not stand the parents, the stress, the lack of time off, and the thanklessness of what providers do for parents. I never want my kids to ever feel again that I care more about other people's kids than my own. I never want to have to drag out infants to every game or swim lesson or concert or whatever activity where it makes it hard for me to really pay attention to my children or enjoy them. I never want to feel as though I'm bogged down by people who feel that their lives are more important than my own or my kids' or my husbands' lives.

Working outside the home affords me much more freedom than working inside the home ever did. I am grateful for the time I could be home when the kids were very little, but do not regret for one minute making the leap from SAHM/DCP to WAHM.

.

[Unregistered]

I read it on the kindle app too. What I liked is that the author is very fair to daycare workers explaining how hard they work under impossible circumstances. It is kind of a wake up call for parents.

[crazydaycarelady]

Just got done reading the book. I think she has a lot of good points about centers. I have never cared for centers since I had a friend who worked in one and then directed one. She said it was just a numbers game. When one class got low they would combine classes so they could send a worker home.

I also agree that home with mom or dad is best but for children that do need to be in daycare an in-home daycare can be a good place. There are LOTS of advantages for infants (and children) who are at an in-home child care. I can have 6 children here with 3 being under 2yo. The infants eat when they like, get changed when they need it,, have a consistent caregiver, have siblings and mixed ages, have no strangers, sleep in a home environment.

I think the parents just need to be observant and know what they are doing when looking for an in-home childcare. I never have openings and have had parents pay for months on end even though dad was laid off to keep their spot here. I have these kids for 5+ years until they go on to real school. I have also been to trainings and see other in-home dcproviders and can tell immediately that I would not leave my child with some of them.

[Familycare71]

I worked in a daycare center when I was younger and never will again! I couldn't stand making kids follow such a strict schedule despite what their needs might be... I love being at home provider - but agree being out out of business because parents stayed home would be great! I also agree being at home providing daycare isn't the same as being a sahm... There are definitely drawbacks for our own kids! But I'm home and raised them and for that I am very grateful!