Relatives Of Daycare Families As Clients?

[Zoe]

Do any of you take on new clients who are related to current clients? My second shift dcm referred her sister to me for childcare. At first I was confused because when I was interviewing her she mentioned that she was leaving her current daycare because of her nephew being rough with her daughter. DCG started a month ago and now she gave her sister my number? WTH?!?

I confronted dcm and flat out asked her "hey, don't your daughter and this boy not get along? Why would you want him here?" She started back-pedaling about how they are ok together. So I told her that I would interview her sister, but if it became a problem I would NOT take this boy on!

So yesterday I interviewed the sister. Her boyfriend and the little boy came along as well. I asked him to take off his shoes and he went into a screaming fit. Oh boy..... Nice first impression. He calmed down but only after HITTING his dad, then went off to play.

During my going over the policy, dad spent the entire time texting and not even listening to me. But mom was attentive. They both voiced concerns that he can be rough with dcg at times. Again, I flat out said that this would be a problem, but we can have a trial period. She wanted to sign on with me immediately and took my admissions packet with her. The boy starts Tuesday and will be coming two nights a week (same nights as dcg.)

I know, I know. Dumb move right? Part of me wants to see if maybe it was the environment that made the two not get along. The other part is kicking myself for getting into this situation! The moment this boy gives me any trouble being rough with ANYONE, he's gone. I work during the day too and will not put up with anything like that.

If it doesn't work out, I'm sure that dcm won't pull her daughter as well because she likes me and really needs second shift care. But all issues aside, I'm wondering if any of you even take on relatives to avoid this crap? Also, have any of you taken on a child with whom you didn't have the best first impression just to see if he behaves differently without the parents around?

[wdmmom]

No relatives!

If I've learned anything, you take on family and you lose 1, you face losing both. You might as well take on a sibling group.

[Zoe]

Obviously it's too late with this situation, but for the future: how do you get out of what I consider a trap? If a parent refers a relative of theirs to you, how do you say no without upsetting the current parent? With this situation, I felt like I was screwed either way!

[cheerfuldom]

did you ask why the sister/nephew are needing a new daycare provider? I would be worried the previous one kicked him out for aggressive behavior. with only two nights a week care, it will be challenging to say the least for him to transition to a provider with rules. i would not have signed a family were the child hit a parent in front of me and there parents did nothing.

[wdmmom]

"Thank you so much for the referral, unfortunately you can tell (your aunt, sister, brother from another mother) that I'm not taking on any more clients at this time."

If they knew you were looking for someone, you could have said, "Thanks for the referral but I'm trying to get out of 2nd shift altogether."

[wdmmom]

What is your schedule like for 2nd shift care? How long will you need to care for this new one?

[Zoe]

The dad did do something, he told him no and talked to him about hitting and when the child calmed down, he let him go play with toys. Sorry, I should've mentioned that. But the fact that he did it in the first place had me a little worried.

Both of these kids were being taken care of at their grandparents house. Now the grandparents can't watch the kids anymore as grandma is having hip surgery. They both work second shift and I'm one of the few (if not the only one in town) who offers second shift care.

I'm still kicking myself and made it clear to BOTH of these women that if this boy is rough with anyone, he'll be terminated. I might have been stupid enough to even consider taking this family on, but I'm not going to hesitate or drag anything out if it's clear it's not going to work out.

[Zoe]

What is your schedule like for 2nd shift care? How long will you need to care for this new one?

The original girl comes three nights a week from 2:30 until 11:45. The boy will come two night a week (both are nights that dcg is here) at the same time. As far as I know, this isn't a short term thing.

[MyAngels]

I have taken children who were related, mainly cousins, quite a lot over the years.

I have also taken children who were not well behaved at the interview.

I've never had a problem with either situation.

For some reason, kids who are absolute hellions with their parents can be the best kids for me.

As far as family members go, you just have to be clear from the start that you are maintaining a business relationship that will not include any family drama.

[laundrymom]

I have cousins here. Their moms are sisters and it works fine. But I've had them all since birth

[e.j.]

I've watched the kids of two sisters and never had a problem with any of the kids or their parents.

I've also been hesitant to take on kids who were poorly behaved for their parents and had mixed results. The worst two kids were short term/summer only kids and I was soooooo relieved at the end of that summer. Most of the kids I've taken on have been great for me, though.

[Zoe]

That's good to hear. I'm hoping this just wasn't a good first impression, but I guess we'll find out! I have no tolerance for kids being violent with each other and fighting, so maybe a change of scenery will help the kids get along better. If not, adios!

[SandeeAR]

Both of these kids were being taken care of at their grandparents house. Now the grandparents can't watch the kids anymore as grandma is having hip surgery.

You probably only have them temporaily anyway. Just until Grandma heals from the hip surgery.