If You Have A Toddler Of Your Own..

[littlemommy]

do you have toys that are just theirs?

DS is 18 months old, and sleeps in our room, so he doesn't have a room that is just his. Most of his toys are in our main room, so the daycare kids also play with them. Lately he's been having a hard time sharing all of his stuff. He's been taking toys, hitting, and even biting the DCK's when he wants a toy.

DH and I are expecting our 2nd child 2 days before DS's 2nd birthday. I'm worried about DS, since he is already showing signs of jealousy towards the DCK's. I would like to get him in his own bedroom before January, but it needs some construction work first.

We have a bedroom on our main floor that we could make a toy room just for DS. I talked to DH about it and he thinks that if we get him a room of his own with "his" stuff, that it will make him even more possessive over his things. What do you think?

[blueclouds29]

my DD is 2 years old and she has toys that are just for her. Sometimes i put a gate up at her door so she can have 'alone time'. She loves it! Things that are just too small for the others and only she can play with!

[learn-n-grow]

I think this is an opportunity to teach him to share. At that age they everything belongs to them. My toddler is the same way. My kids have toys that are just theirs but I do not allow them to bring them out when there are daycare kids present because I know they would have an issue with another child playing with the toys. I don't allow daycare kids to bring in their own toys so I treat my kids the same way.

[SilverSabre25]

I started doing daycare when DD was 2 and we had the same types of problems. As soon as we picked out some of her favorites and allowed her to keep them in her room, she settled right down. I think she even forgets that all these toys used to be "her"--now they are just "everyones". When she gets something new for her birthday or Christmas, we keep it just for her for a couple months before we rotate it out to the main playroom. We rotate what's in her room the same way we rotate what's in the main playroom. She is allowed to go to her room at any point during the day and play on her own. The dcks are NEVER allowed in her room, not even if she wants them there. That is HER space and it may NOT be invaded.

[TBird]

When my son was that age he didn't really recognize if the toys were his or not. He was pretty rough with the other daycare baby and preschoolers though...he was always trying to bop the other kids upside the head or take their pacifiers (even though he had his own pacifier stuck in his face). Maybe that's how he defended his territory??? I don't have any good advice...I just watched him like a hawk.

[Cat Herder]

I never allowed the DCK's to play with my kids personal things.

My kids were not in daycare, they were at home.

My kids had the choice to come into the daycare to play or go hang out in their rooms (they are teens now so only come in for special projects or to read for the littles).

IMHO, Personal toys/supplies and daycare toys/supplies are from two seperate worlds.

[Crystal]

My kids are grown now, but they always had their own personal space and toys that they did not have to share. This is their home and they, just like me, deserve their own space and belongings without sharing with anyone else. If it is a playroom toy, they must share, if it is their toy, they don't have too.

I think your husband is right and you should try to get his room finished as soon as possible. Especially if he is biting

[littlemommy]

My kids are grown now, but they always had their own personal space and toys that they did not have to share. This is their home and they, just like me, deserve their own space and belongings without sharing with anyone else. If it is a playroom toy, they must share, if it is their toy, they don't have too.

I think your husband is right and you should try to get his room finished as soon as possible. Especially if he is biting

DH thinks that if DS has a room with his own toys, that he will be even meaner with the toys in the main room. I worded that weird in my first post. I think if he had place to escape when he is frustrated, that it would help with his possessiveness. I think it would be very beneficial to do that before the baby comes!!

[cheerfuldom]

My girls have special toys and areas of the house where they can go but daycare kids can't. For us, it helps a lot for them to have their own space. Can you imagine how exhausting it is for these provider kids to be surrounded by other kids constantly and have to share EVERYTHING? I dont share all my stuff, even with my kids and husband. We all need our own space and I dont think kids are an exception. However, dont expect a new room arrangement to magically fix the problem. I think it will help but he is 18 months. Hoarding toys, hitting and such are part of the deal and just things that he will have to learn are not okay.

[MG&Lsmom]

We also do the personal toys in the bedroom thing. We live in a ranch with is making for some difficult time with my new DCG. Every bedroom is located off the great room. So she can see glimpses of the "forbidden" toys when my DDs go in and out. My DS' room is used for napping. So when DS needs a break I do have problems with DCKs trying to get at him in his room. I can't wait to be able to afford to finish the basement area as our daycare space.

[AnneCordelia]

My own children have a playroom in the basement where they are welcome to play away from the DKC. But, until the child is old enough to be in the basement unsupervised they are with me in the daycare area on the mainfloor. In the daycare area all the toys belong to me and I share them with the children.

This is what works for us. My children keep their toys in their bedrooms or in their playroom and do not have to share them with the DCKs.

[blueclouds29]

We also do the personal toys in the bedroom thing. We live in a ranch with is making for some difficult time with my new DCG. Every bedroom is located off the great room. So she can see glimpses of the "forbidden" toys when my DDs go in and out. My DS' room is used for napping. So when DS needs a break I do have problems with DCKs trying to get at him in his room. I can't wait to be able to afford to finish the basement area as our daycare space.

This is me too! I have a small ranch with 3 rooms in the hallway. The kids can play in 2 rooms, the napping room and my DD's room. (of course the living room too) It stinks that the house is so small but we manage. Our basement is not yet finished either and one day i dream of having the daycare down there in a BIG open space! Once can dream

[squareone]

Any personal toys that my children do not want to share must remain upstiars in their room during daycare. They are allowed to go up anytime and play with them but the minute those toys come downstairs into the daycare area they are fair game and they must share them.

[Sunshine44]

From my experience with my own child and running a daycare, it is important for them to have their own space and toys that are 'special' to them. Of course, most toys are for everyone to "share", but some things need to be kept up for just your toddler. You also need a place your toddler can go during the day to be 'alone'. I had an issue with my child and had to create a place he could go and be semi alone, away from the daycare kids. It sovled a lot of our issues.

[Mom_of_two]

Yes- all of their toys are just theirs! I don't make my girls share any toys. They choose to do so a lot, though. If they don't want to share it must be in their room. My playroom has toys for everyone. When I started I bought toys and things just for the daycare, so they have always been community toys. If I buy a new 'sharing toy' for the playroom, they understand, never been a problem.
If they ask to play with one of their toys, I ask if they are going to share it etc.