Don't Know Where to Start

[Unregistered]

I've been feeling quite down lately, and feel like I want to quit altogether. Monday through Wednesday I start at 7:30 am and my last DCG leaves at 1:30am. Thursdays start at 7:30am and sometimes don't end until 9:30 pm. Friday and Sat. fluctuate, but I have Dck on average 80 hours a week.

I'm having issues with DCM and three year old. DCM lies about everything(literally everything) and can not trust her. She calls me one evening asking about a mark that looked like a burn on DCG's arm. She said she repeatedly asked DKG how she got it and she replied with my name. She said she was taking pictures and coming over the next day to show me. With the way she acted, I was feeling like she was trying to blame me for it. Needless to say, when she showed up, she didn't show me pictures and there wasn't anything wrong with her arm, but that didn't help the distress.

Now I have a 20 month old that has recently started pinching, scratching and biting and she targets DCG . I think it's because DKG reacts so vividly, So I'm fighting all day to keep them separated, and it's not working out well, and last week she left a (REAL) mark on her back. I can't let this continue. I love them both, however I'm more attached to the 20 month old. I've had her since she was 4 months, and I'm considering letting her go.

Three year old DCG gives me a horrible time and refuses to listen to anything. Fights with diaper changing, opens bedroom doors repeatedly, throws things, screams, etc. Honestly, I do believe there are other issues going on and I believe she needs individual attention. I think she may be mildly autistic, as she walks on her tip toes as well. I'm not a doctor though. I care about her, however I don't think I have the resources to give her the care she needs. After the incident of DCM calling me about the mark on her arm, I gave DCM a two month notice, so she would have time to find another provider. With all of the stress, it's just not worth $300-400 a month. I ended up taking it back because she started crying and said she didn't want anyone else to watch her daughter and that she would just quit school. I wish I had some back bone, and less of a heart, and now I'm mad because she totally played me...

I started taking care of DCG in january so mom could attend school. She was not attending school from march-july, but kept her in daycare, even though she does not work. She started out as private pay
and got a full ride through public funding, back to private pay, and now public funding. Is it more difficult to terminate if they are funded by the state? She is being dishonest about her financial situation, as she lives with DCD, even though she says they don't live together. Grrrr. I'd also like a free ride through school and daycare please.

I know I'm ranting and raving. There's really no one else that understands my frustration. I know I'm burned out. This weekend was a three day weekend, and I was so thankful. I usually only get one day. I'm already dreading Monday : (.

[erinalexmom]

It seems to me that there is no wonder your stressed. No one can keep up an 80hr work week for long and not be stressed. (I know the feeling cause I am working 2 jobs myself right now) Is there any way to get more of a Mon-Fri schedule or could you at least replace the 1am child or something. Honestly I think its your schedule thats doing you in...... I am going through the same thing because I am getting my daycare going and so I still have to do my nursing job in the evenings and weekends till I am full at the daycare. On week I went from Wed-Sun on 8 hours sleep (the entire time!) it can make you totally crazy I am going to have to give up some hours because I can see myself getting more frustrated everyday.

[AfterSchoolMom]

Is the 3 yo the 1am child, or is that the 20 mo? How many other children do you care for?

Honestly, it sounds to me like the best solution may be to terminate the 3yo. IF she's also the one who stays until 1:30 am, then you've solved two problems. If not, I'd definitely terminate that child as well. Advertise your spots and if at all possible, make sure you get people with reasonable daytime schedules.

Stop stop STOP working 80 hours per week, or if you must, charge a LOT more for that time! I'd figure out your hourly rate and then double or triple it for any hours past 5:30 or 6. 7:30-6 is almost 30 hours a week less than you're working now. I bet that would really make you feel better!

[momma2girls]

Cut way back to 45-50 hrs. a week!!

[CheekyChick]

You are working way too many hours. If you can afford to, I would cut back on your hours. I think you are feeling down because you are completely and totally exhausted. NOBODY can go at that pace for a long period of time and not feel the effects of it.

[Unregistered]

I know it's my hours and I want to fix it, but the transition seems very hard to do.

The 20 month old and her sister are here from 2-1:30. Her sister is only here until school starts.

I have two boys that are here from 7:30 - 5:30 mon- thurs. and sometimes Friday.

Three year old mon-fri. from 12pm to 6-8...just depends when DCD gets off work,

and I have a four year old girl who's hours fluctuate week to week, with hours ranging from 730 am until 10 pm Mon.- Sat.

Thank you for the replies. As much as it hurts, I think I may have to let toddler go.

[cheerfuldom]

Do what you need to do to get this household under control! good luck

[Michelle]

I know it's my hours and I want to fix it, but the transition seems very hard to do.

The 20 month old and her sister are here from 2-1:30. Her sister is only here until school starts.

I have two boys that are here from 7:30 - 5:30 mon- thurs. and sometimes Friday.

Three year old mon-fri. from 12pm to 6-8...just depends when DCD gets off work,

and I have a four year old girl who's hours fluctuate week to week, with hours ranging from 730 am until 10 pm Mon.- Sat.

Thank you for the replies. As much as it hurts, I think I may have to let toddler go.

I do similar type hours but I don't go as late as 1 am.
I have gone til 11 pm before but not everyday. If terming is not possible.
The best thing you can do is do what the others have said and increase your rates ALOT for the evenings and hire a part time assistant to give you a break in the evening. We do that and we go shopping or go out to dinner, somethings just drive to the beach at night. Also, we just put them to bed at 8pm. No dck will ever stay up later than my own kids!
Good luck and get some part time help.

[Crazy8]

I'd be burnt out if I ran that type of daycare too. You need to set your business hours and stick with them - you need the separation of business and family. I could never have daycare kids in my house all hours of the day. There are some that feel like my own and I wouldn't mind doing a later day once in a while for them but not on a regular basis. No way!!!!

I don't know how much you need the income, but I'd go to a more normal 7:30am to maybe even 6-7pm if that's ok for your family but that's it. Get rid of the all night kids.

[countrymom]

with those hours, what are their parents doing. I mean what jobs work like that. I think you need to start clamping down and saying that you need work scheduals. I think you are being taking advanage off.

[Kaddidle Care]

No child should be in Daycare more than 10 hours per day!

Time to advertize and get some NORMAL clients with normal jobs and let the others go.

Set your hours to what fits your schedule - the 7:30-5:30 is perfect.

You need your down time and anyone that doesn't understand that doesn't care very much for their children. I wouldn't want my child going to someone that works day and night and is totally burned out.

Do it for yourself hon - the long hours are totally ****ing the joy out of your job.

[SimpleMom]

Is the 3 yo the 1am child, or is that the 20 mo? How many other children do you care for?

Honestly, it sounds to me like the best solution may be to terminate the 3yo. IF she's also the one who stays until 1:30 am, then you've solved two problems. If not, I'd definitely terminate that child as well. Advertise your spots and if at all possible, make sure you get people with reasonable daytime schedules.

Stop stop STOP working 80 hours per week, or if you must, charge a LOT more for that time! I'd figure out your hourly rate and then double or triple it for any hours past 5:30 or 6. 7:30-6 is almost 30 hours a week less than you're working now. I bet that would really make you feel better!

Agreed!! Charge more if you must work past 5 or 6 and term the 3yr and the 1am. Fill the spots with daytime hours and a better fit. You'll feel TONS better.

[JaydensMommy]

Wow.. you work way too many hours. I wouldn't be able to do that. I work 6am-6pm and feel like that is too much. But I just cannot imagine not having afternoons and weekends to relax! You need to get some help or cut your hours down.