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I have a 10 month old that started 2 months ago. I can't term, I love the parents and I've been hoping things would get better. This baby cries constantly. He doesn't play. He is clingy in an insecure way, rather than a loving way. My son needed to be held a lot as an infant but not like this. By 10mo he could sit and play for 5-20 at a time alone. This baby doesn't just whine- he goes from zero to screaming and tears over tiny little things, for example- if my son shouts while playing or if he every so slightly loses his balance. I end up carrying him around 99% of his waking hours(and he still cries) and it's ridiculous. I've tried just easing him slowly onto the floor and sitting next to him. I've tried letting him tough it out and cry a bit. Nothing works and I just don't know WHY he cries so much or what I can try to make him relax. I feel like at 10 months he should be playing independently. I know I'm just having a bad week, but I need tips. He hates wearing worn, won't ride in a stroller, hates water and is afraid of the outside. He is happiest when asleep and eating. Have any of you had this baby and did it get better at some point?
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As hard as it will be to bring it up, I would suggest having the parents have him evaluated by early intervention or a developmental pediatrician. He sound a lot like my son who has sensory processing issues. I'm not saying that's what it is, but this sounds like it goes above and beyond normal separation, frustration and lack of coping skills. Have the parents told you how he is at home and how they calm him or if they can put him down? -
I am no expert, but it sounds like mom and dad are doing a lot of carrying the child arond. How does the child act at home?
I am surprised that my nephew ever learned to walk, as my sister never put him down. If she tried to put him down just to go to the bathroom he would scream out of control...
He could not play with others very well, as he was so used to being held that he didnt like to do anything out of his comfort zone. My sister would have to put him on her lap and sit with him on the floor to play with my son. It would not happen any other way. Then most of the time if my son even looked in his direction he would resort back to screaming..
He is now 4 and he is a really shy, yet one of the smartest kids I have ever met...
i would find out from the parents how he is behaving at home. If they are holding him all the time or allowing him to control his every move this could be why he is this way and I would let them know that they need to stop doing this at home or he will not be sucessful in group care....Comment
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I had a little boy who started here at 10 months who was a non-stop crier. The only time he was somewhat happy was when I was holding him. If I stepped out of the room, he would go into a crying frenzy. I couldn't term him because I felt that nobody else would have the patience to care for him. FINALLY, the crying ended after 8 weeks (or so). He is now a happy (almost) three year old who is very independent and I am lucky if I get a hug at the end of the day.
I hope your little one outgrows it. I know it's hard when you feel helpless to make it better.
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Whether it's going to get better or not depends on what the problem is. If the problem is a combination of the kid's temperament and how he's being parented, it probably won't get better. If the problem is a sensory issue, it may get better if the parents are open to help.
I had a screamer I had to term, but I did call the local CCRR. They have specialists on staff that can give you some suggestions. As soon as the little ones are asleep, I'd give them a call. They can come to your home to observe (with parental permission), and help you improve your own response to the situation. If there is something going on with the baby, they might be able to steer you in the right direction. They suggested to me that my screamer's issue might have something to do with sensory issues, but I got rid of her before exploring the option because there were major parenting issues as well.
Good luck. I empathize and hope it gets better.Comment
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I had one girl like that, and she improved over time, but not a lot. She was diagnosed with a severe sensory disorder and Pervasive Developmental disorder, bordering on Autism. (now it would be called on the spectrum)
They did enroll her in school, but she couldn't even make it through Halloween. Mom ended up staying home and homeschooling her. She eventually got much, much worse. The more mom stayed home to avoid the meltdowns, the worse she got, and it became a vicious cycle. So, they put her in a program that will help her through some of the issues that bother her the most. (Noise and touch)
I haven't heard how she's doing now. She must be about 10 now, so I suppose things should have improved by now.Comment
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I have a now 11 month old that at 9 months when he started cried non-stop. After a week he stopped crying. He still cries/screams sometimes but he is soo much better. I also love his parents and felt bad but I told them the first week if it didn't get better by the second week that I wasn't going to be able to keep him. Very glad he did get better! Now.. I just have to deal with a 6 month old that I've had for 2 months (twice a week) that won't stop crying.. I think today is her last day.. I've tried long enough....Comment
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inner ear infections - blockage?
my son was like that until adenoid surgery. no fevers. only snot with irrigation. He passed 3 hearing screenings, too. Definitely needs a peds talk at least. My son's hearing was just fine, but he could not hear himself. After a year of antibiotics and six months of speech we got nowhere until the surgery.
Swallowing and screaming both open the ears up a bit and this can relieve the pain somewhat.
You might also try, for short periods, a jumparoo.Comment
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I had two criers that ended up having special needs and three criers that were extremely spoiled at home. Talk to the parents but in each case, you are fighting a losing battle unless you can get some support here. I felt like you with one of them.....really wanted to stick it out because I was worried about what would happen if I termed. I finally did term because it was so much crying and unhappiness that the other kids, my kids and me were all getting stressed by it. Its not just about this little one and the parents, think of everyone else involved. If its personality/parenting, you aren't helping by carrying him and catering to it all the time.Comment
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Amen to that. Kids who come out with that demanding of a personality need help learning how to soothe themselves, and often, the parents find it easier to spoil them. Literally. The OP just has to figure out what she thinks the problem really is with this kid so she can make a decision about moving forward. If terming isn't an option, then earplugs are!Comment
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