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And I'd like to know what other "weird fixations" you find common in children these days. That sounds interesting. I have one little one that rocks a lot (like sitting on the floor alone and doing this) and knocks her head lightly on the side of the pack n play to get herself to sleep. Is that a weird fixation? I was really getting worried about the amount of time she was doing this and then she all of a sudden stopped recently, yay!
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Babies CAN be on a schedule.
They can eat and sleep on a schedule.
You can overfeed your baby.... breast or formula
Just because you have a child doesn't mean you are an expert in the kid. Realize that you have to learn how to care for the child. If the explanation means it is easy then they are prolly selling you something. "you know your baby best and you know what's best for your baby" sells but it doesn't help you in the middle of the night when you are walking the floor with your baby.
It's okay for babies to cry. That's what they do. It doesn't always mean there is something wrong. Most of infant crying is not something wrong or something that needs to be fixed. Learning to parent means learning to tell the difference between crying that expends energy and crying that means a need needs to be met.
You CAN spoil a baby. Spoiling is overstimulating them.
Babies need DEEP sleep. If they are catnapping they are NOT getting good sleep. You CAN'T fool mother nature... not with your words or your thoughts that your child is the exception. No matter what... your kid needs sleep... and a lot of it in order to grow properly and develop. If you want them to be gifted give them the gift of sleep.
Kids are more alike than they are different.
Don't adultize your kids emotions and behaviors.
That there kind of stuff...
Do you want something specific? These are some of the current myths "I" believe are tripping up todays parent.Comment
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I was thinking of the counselling I've done just in the last year for fixation issues or just unhealthy extreme behaviors:
Rage babies is number one by FAR.... then
off the top of my head... from working with the centers and counselling in home providers:
fingerwalking addicts
cloth ****ing addicts (kids ****ing so much during sleep that they are saturating pillow, loveys, sleeves of shirts)
picking (fingernail picking, lip picking, scab picking, mesh picking)
head banging
scratching and clawing at whoever is in reach
masturbating/rubbing
formula/milk refusal.. wanting only baby food for young infants... six months and up (this one is becoming really common)
motion addiction
hair twirling or hair massaging
jolly jumper bouncing/foot kicking (i've had one of these and it was a LONG LONG LONG detox
oh and "****ling"
I'm not a pacifier fan so to "me" the pacis are a problem............ but that's just MY opinion.Comment
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oh my word! my little one that was rocking/head banging now ****s on her clothes and bibs. She is almost 2 but has to wear a bib all the time for constant drooling. She does have low muscle tone and is in physical therapy for that and I guess that drooling is common for that issue (or that is what I was told). Anyway, I guess she just replaced her fixation with another. The only thing I know to do is to tell her no, do you have any other suggestions?
I was told that picking is a sign of anxiety in children. I did this A LOT as a child and grew up in a abusive situation so that makes sense. Do you think all these fixations come for anxiety issues? i had one youngster that did the scratching/clawing and she only made it here 2 days....it was BAD and there were other issues. Then I had another who was here for about 18months and she did the rubbing unless I would stop her. I mentioned her in another thread and she is one that was adopted at 9 months old and who knows what happened to her as a baby.Comment
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Specific? Yes! What you said is very helpful, though. I'm truly trying to learn. I think I'm a terrific mom (patting myself on the back right now!), and a pretty good daycare provider, but I know I have a lot more to learn.
The specific "how-to's" on basic child-rearing would be helpful, with the overall goal of those how-to's to help not just parents, but daycare providers. I think the biggest practical issues for inexperienced in-home daycare providers are crying and napping for the littles, and then as they get older, the inappropriate behaviors start to pop up, like biting, hitting or such. I'd really love to know how long a veteran would let a baby cry, because there seems to be a lot of it going on around my house! I'm not hardwired to listen to a child cry and my instinct is to stop it at whatever cost, and no, I'm not talking about violence, so please don't report me to "don't shake a baby dot com"; I'm talking about reacting to every little whimper to the point where you spoil the kid. Right now, I'm dealing with my sweet little db who came back from vacation (and spending lots of time with mom, dad and grandparents) with a new hatred of naptime, and a new mastery of the tearless angry baby cry. I let him fuss the entire nap yesterday and today, but it sometimes feels like I'm reinforcing a bad habit, because I'll go to get him while he's screaming once naptime is over, at which point, he's perfectly happy.
And then there are the rage babies, and the babies like the one in the original post, who just have formed bad habits because the behavior benefits the parents, not them. How do you deal with them? Is there a way, other than terminating the contract?
So yes, specifics on the hot topics for daycare providers would be awesome. Throw it into a blog or a blog series; I'll read it.
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