Do your peers "Hate" or Congratulate?

[Cat Herder]

I just finished a really interesting phone conversation with an Author friend of mine from childhood. She specializes in Womens Issues and Domestic Violence.

She had a few random questions about my personal experiences in the daycare community as a whole for her current project.

A few of those struck a chord with me long after our discussion was over. :confused:

What would you have said?

1. "Do you feel that your peers take personal joy in another peers success?"

2. "In your experience, when one peer is more successful than another, do they "Hate"? Meaning do they resent it and try to tear them down?"

3. "In your experience, when one peer is more successful than another, do they Congratulate them?"

[Blackcat31]

What would you have said? (We're talking fellow peer providers in my area right?)

1. "Do you feel that your peers take personal joy in another peers success?"
No. I think most of my peers are looking out for themselves and act like teenage girls prank calling each other during slumber parties.

2. "In your experience, when one peer is more successful than another, do they "Hate"? Meaning do they resent it and try to tear them down?"
Yes. They start telling everyone the only reason she makes this or does this is because__________ fill in the blank with a myriad of made-up stuff.

3. "In your experience, when one peer is more successful than another, do they Congratulate them?"
Not unless, they were friends before competitors.


I will repost if you weren't meaning peer providers and you meant peers as in my women friends......

[sharlan]

What would you have said? (We're talking fellow peer providers in my area right?)

1. "Do you feel that your peers take personal joy in another peers success?"
No. I think most of my peers are looking out for themselves and act like teenage girls prank calling each other during slumber parties.

2. "In your experience, when one peer is more successful than another, do they "Hate"? Meaning do they resent it and try to tear them down?"
Yes. They start telling everyone the only reason she makes this or does this is because__________ fill in the blank with a myriad of made-up stuff.

3. "In your experience, when one peer is more successful than another, do they Congratulate them?"
Not unless, they were friends before competitors.


I will repost if you weren't meaning peer providers and you meant peers as in my women friends......

I am not surprised at your answers. Granted, I have been out of the loop as far as other providers since we moved here 6 yrs ago, but I didn't see any of those issues then. I've seen it a bit in the past year.

[Cat Herder]

(We're talking fellow peer providers in my area right?)

I will repost if you weren't meaning peer providers and you meant peers as in my women friends......

No, you are right.

She wanted my own personal experiences with my peers in this industry.

My answers were very similar

[kidkair]

1. "Do you feel that your peers take personal joy in another peers success?"
No. I think the joy my peers have in other's successes is empathic joy rather than personal joy. I only take personal joy in another's success when they succeeded based on advice I gave them.

2. "In your experience, when one peer is more successful than another, do they "Hate"? Meaning do they resent it and try to tear them down?"
I think the attitude is more that of questioning and wondering why/how. They ask how did you do this or that? What are your thoughts on such and such. Very much a give and take rather than jealousy.

3. "In your experience, when one peer is more successful than another, do they Congratulate them?"
I don't think my provider peers are very congratulatory unless it's on here. My friends however are in constant amazement the kids leave here alive daily and congratulate me a ton on being so successful in my new business. (Even though I feel differently some times.)

[Sugar Magnolia]

Human nature

Cat, I have mixed feelings on this. I think a lot of times it is impossible to tell if someone is sincere when they congratulate a peer on a success. It seems like human nature to smile and say "good for you" and secretly be saying "yeah whatever, we'll see how that works out". Its sad. I think there is a lot of jealousy in the world, but most people do a decent job of pretending to be happy for someone, even if they aren't. Complex issue huh?

[Cat Herder]

Cat, I have mixed feelings on this. I think a lot of times it is impossible to tell if someone is sincere when they congratulate a peer on a success. It seems like human nature to smile and say "good for you" and secretly be saying "yeah whatever, we'll see how that works out". Its sad. I think there is a lot of jealousy in the world, but most people do a decent job of pretending to be happy for someone, even if they aren't. Complex issue huh?

Exactly. The group B folks are being asked how they, personally, would react to the same set of circumstances.

I can't imagine the two sets of results supporting the outcome of the other...can you???

Just seems like it is going to be such a fun study on Women' perspectives in the work place..

There were a few other questions regarding whether we preferred male co-workers if given the option....etc. I think that is a given...:::::: I may be alone on that one :confused:

The "Hate" or Congratulate section just kicked off my curiosity... I had never really thought of it that way but it always existed....::::