Letting Your Own Kids Go To A DCK's House

[mrsp'slilpeeps]

One of my DCM asked me today if she could take my son and daughter to her house to play with her kids today. usually I would be thrilled to have a quieter house, but i feel nervous about them being there. When her kids are here my son starts bouncing off the walls and sometimes act's like a royal PITA! My daughter, i always know that she is on her best behavior.
I am also worried that she may have a million nosey questions about our family and my son likes to tell tall tales!
One time he told my neighbour that i left him at home all by himself and she came over just petrafied. I was washing dishes.
Would you do the same with your DCP's?

[laundrymom]

Depending on who it is. Mine have in the past. But not often.

[cheerfuldom]

No, never. I keep it strictly professional.

[Blackcat31]

My kids are older now but when they were younger, I just chose to do like cheerfuldom and never blur the lines between family and business.

[mrsp'slilpeeps]

Any ideas on how to decline the invites? I have always belived that you cant have a buddy buddy friendship with someone who cares for your kids. Always wanted to keep things professional too!

[Cat Herder]

I have learned to keep it professional. It backfires too easily.

It opens the door to "I had your kids over to play last weekend so can you invite mine this weekend?"

Then it becomes bartering for "free care" with trades of "playtime" at her house.

Eventually it gets to the point they feel they should not have to pay or follow the rules...after all, you are friends now and her kid is only there to play.

I know of which I speak...I have seen me go through this...::::

[daycare]

I have learned to keep it professional. It backfires too easily.

It opens the door to "I had your kids over to play last weekend so can you invite mine this weekend?"

Then it becomes bartering for "free care" with trades of "playtime" at her house.

Eventually it gets to the point they feel they should not have to pay or follow the rules...after all, you are friends now and her kid is only there to play.

I know of which I speak...I have seen me go through this...::::

...... yes I would not allow for my son to go over a DCK house. He gets invites all the time and i say thanks so much for the offer, but maybe another time. I am always busy and the parents know this. I also have a 15 year old and a 13year old that will watch my son for me if I have an errand to run.

I have never crossed the line with the DCP as I learned my lesson years ago with a different business that I had. my rhyme..
Business is business, pleasure is pleasure NEVER mix the two together...........repeat....

[Blackcat31]

If it were me in that same situation I would say something like

"Thanks so much for inviting DD and DS. I know that your kids and mine have a great time playing together and get along well, and I hope you won't take offense to this but I am going to decline. The reason for this is because if I start letting my kids go to some daycare kids' houses, they don't seem to understand that they can't go to everyone's house and you can just imagine how hard that would become. Please know that I really do appreciate the invite, maybe we could meet up at the park sometime during an upcoming weekend and give our kids some time together."

I don't know what kind of relationship you have with this parent and I don't know how she would take that but try to tweak it to fit the relationship you have with her....kwim?
Like I said, I tried really hard to not blur things so that I wasn't having to explain why it was ok to go to some dck's houses and not to others so I just said they couldn't go to any. It made it so much easier.

[daycare]

If it were me in that same situation I would say something like

"Thanks so much for inviting DD and DS. I know that your kids and mine have a great time playing together and get along well, and I hope you won't take offense to this but I am going to decline. The reason for this is because if I start letting my kids go to some daycare kids' houses, they don't seem to understand that they can't go to everyone's house and you can just imagine how hard that would become. Please know that I really do appreciate the invite, maybe we could meet up at the park sometime during an upcoming weekend and give our kids some time together."

I don't know what kind of relationship you have with this parent and I don't know how she would take that but try to tweak it to fit the relationship you have with her....kwim?
Like I said, I tried really hard to not blur things so that I wasn't having to explain why it was ok to go to some dck's houses and not to others so I just said they couldn't go to any. It made it so much easier.

This is great advice and a great excuse.

[mrsp'slilpeeps]

Well we are not best friends, I have been watching her kids since Jan. She lives down the street from us also. My son sneaks out to her house sometimes to play, even after they have been with me all day! Im glad they get along and want to be friends, but yes I feel uneasy about this and I will decline from now on. I guess they wont be going to a bday party for another DCB either.

[daycare]

I would go to the bday party with them.

[littlemissmuffet]

I agree with those who don't mix business with pleasure.
I guess I would probably be honest and say just that... "Though I really appreciate the invite, we prefer not to mix business with pleasure and keep things strictly professional. It's nothing personal, just a long-standing rule we've always kept. I am sure you understand..."

[Mom_of_two]

I keep it professional only as well. So no, mine would not. I don't attend DCK's birthday parties either but do get a little gift bag to give if I am actually invited to a party.

[laundrymom]

So I'm the only one who has? Hmmm again I'm a purple duck, yesssssss! Lol

Here most of the time we form lifelong bonds with the families. We truly become family.

[Country Kids]

No, my kids play with the DCK outside of hours! Especially when they were younger and had no other friends. Mine actually all went to school together also so when birthday invites where handed out mine kids were invited as well. How sad to tell a child that they are just business.