Growing a Backbone

[NiNi.R.]

I have a 3.5 year old who puts toys in her mouth. Any toy and every toy...not just in cases of pretend "food". I feel like a bazillion times a day I'm making her throw the specific toy in the sink. I was sort of hoping she would learn that way but she didn't. So over time I would have her put it in the sink followed by sitting by herself on the couch for a little bit. That also didn't do it...

I've mentioned before that I have a clip chart system. Kids move up on the chart for positive behavior, down for negative. I started using this as incentive. The DCG still continued to do it. I talked to the mom about it yesterday explaining to her that she can't be doing that. That it isn't sanitary and she is old enough to know better. You could tell it went in one ear and out the other as the DCM started talking to one of my babies towards the end of the conversation which really frustrates me.

So today the DCG continued to put the toys in her mouth. I put in my new PHB that when a clip falls below a certain point a letter will be sent home stating what they did. On the bottom there is an area that they must fill out stating what they will do about the situation from home to discontinue the behavior, sign, and date it to return to me the following day. When the DCM showed up for pick up I handed her the piece of paper and started talking to her about the situation. In the middle of the conversation she says just hand me a pen I'll sign it now. Then realized there was more to it then that. She just looked at me and said I'll try to talk to her but she is like talking to a brick wall. She was pretty short with me after that. I don't think she was very happy that I gave her the paper. I'm sure in her eyes she shouldn't have to deal with it. That is what she pays me for...right?

Ugh! How frustrating parents can be sometimes. It will be interesting to see what she fills out on her sheet!

[momma4many]

I really think you are right. I have one dkg who's parents DO NOT want to hear anything except how fabulous she was all day and how I completely entertained her and how there could possibly have been a releasing of butterflies and doves because she ate her vegetables. :: Some parents just want to not hear it. I don't agree with that, but it seems to be how it is sometimes.

Let us know what she put down on the sheet....this could be good

[PitterPatter]

I really think you are right. I have one dkg who's parents DO NOT want to hear anything except how fabulous she was all day and how I completely entertained her and how there could possibly have been a releasing of butterflies and doves because she ate her vegetables. :: Some parents just want to not hear it. I don't agree with that, but it seems to be how it is sometimes.

Let us know what she put down on the sheet....this could be good

:::::: Yep been there!!!

[Sunshine44]

I'd take care of it in house, wouldn't involve the parents. Parents often don't care. Make her sit in a chair and not play with anything until she can behave properly. If she cannot play with the toys correctly, then she shouldn't be playing with them at all. If you are consistent, hopefully it will sink in.

[Meyou]

I wouldn't allow her to play with toys for the rest of the morning/afternoon if she can't treat them properly. I would seperate her and give her coloring things and books to play with but no toys. Children DO NOT put MY toys in their mouth. It's not nice and it can make their friends sick.

[daycare]

I would give her toys to play with that she can't fit in her mouth.
Or only give get crayons and paper.
Hopefully she won't start eating that. Lol

I also agree what happens at DC stays at DC unless it involved harm.

[countrymom]

I wouldn't allow her to play with toys for the rest of the morning/afternoon if she can't treat them properly. I would seperate her and give her coloring things and books to play with but no toys. Children DO NOT put MY toys in their mouth. It's not nice and it can make their friends sick.

I say that too, why is she putting them in her mouth, is she bored, are her teeth bothering her, habit.

[Meyou]

I would address it with the child as pp also said and then I would probably mention it at pickup to the parents. I usually mention anything that could be distorted into a crazy story at home. Things like yesterday a dcb was playing a jumping game and slipped and ended up with a red scratch on his face. I mentioned he had a spill and broke his fall with his face but recovered and shouted"I'm ok!" with his arms up in the air.

In your case I would say something like, " I think I caught Missy with a nail when I picked her up today because she started yelling that I hit her. hahaha We had a little talk about telling the truth right after that" and leave it at that.

[NiNi.R.]

DCM at drop off told me that DCG was allowed to do such things at home. Last night she was caught with a butterfly hair clip in her mouth and that sometimes she will even chew on paper all the time. She said she didn't think much of it and never really got after her for it at home. DCM thinks it is maybe some kind of comfort thing. She also said that she will no longer allow it to happen. I myself am kind of confused why she would allow her 3.5 year old daughter to run around with things such as butterfly clips in her mouth in the first place. That's just asking for a choking incident!

I appreciate all the advice...I've tried most of it but nothing seemed to work. I thoroughly believe that when a constant issue arises it takes both parent and provider working together communicating, and supporting each other to get the issue to stop. Much like parents would do with each other. I do believe that the DCM will follow through as her dd is overall pretty well behaved.

[Christian Mother]

I wouldn't allow her to play with toys for the rest of the morning/afternoon if she can't treat them properly. I would seperate her and give her coloring things and books to play with but no toys. Children DO NOT put MY toys in their mouth. It's not nice and it can make their friends sick.

This is the rout I take although I have young ones so I am a little more tame. I normally take the toy away put it in a box that is kept for toys that have gone in the mouth and can't be played with the rest of the day and get cleaned when the kids go home. My little ones are less then 3 yrs of age so its constant reinforcement on "no toys in the mouth". They start to learn pretty quick when there aren't anymore toys they can play with bc there all in the box. I won't bug on it. It takes a couple weeks to brake it but you have to stay on it...following her around and ever time she makes the motion to put her hand or toy in the mouth make the mmmm mmmmm. Shack your head like nope you may not put my toys in your mouth. Keep doing that and if she starts to get angry good bc it's starting to sink in. Keep at it you'll have it nipped in the bud!!

[sharlan]

What about giving her a couple of toys and telling her that she is not allowed to play with anything else until she learns to keep things out of her mouth? Only food goes into her mouth.