New Here, Need Some Advice

[momma4many]

Hi there everyone! I have just opened my first daycare and have some questions about my dcg. She is 12 months old and has been in a center her whole life. Now, in my daycare she is the only dck that I have right now. I told her parents that this would be the case and they were fine with that. She started out great, but now it has turned into a scenario that I'm not sure how to handle. First off, she is teething. They told me that they have been giving her tylenol in the morning so that it helps her discomfort, but refuse to send anything with her for during the day. The poor thing is miserable! I have tried to talk to both parents about this and they make a quick excuse and all but run out the door. When I tried to show them her daily sheet, with specifics about her day, they said that was not necessary and didn't even look at it. They actually said today that they almost forgot to pick her up! They seem very concerned about some things, but not other very important things.:confused:

The other issue I am having is they don't want her to nap b/c she goes to bed better at night (sigh). I told them that was not an option, she must nap, and they said they DO NOT want her to CIO, so if she does, she will have to be picked up and comforted. They said at home, she sleeps like a charm and has never slept at daycare. I told them that is probably b/c she was overstimulated in the center and that she is VERY tired here, but that it will take some time to get her to go to sleep w/o fussing. They said I could try to rock her and put her down, but no CIO. Even said they would be stopping by randomly to check. My policy states that if they do stop by to please not do so during nap time b/c, and if they do at any time, that they must take her with them when they leave. I seriously doubt that they will but it sets my nerves on edge anyway. I am starting to resent this situation and feel like it's risky to keep her b/c of their behavior, but I really need the income, we are SO struggling right now, so terming is not an issue. Any advice?

[Michael]

Welcome to the Daycare.com Forum momma4many!

[Cat Herder]

Hi there everyone! I have just opened my first daycare and have some questions about my dcg. She is 12 months old and has been in a center her whole life. Now, in my daycare she is the only dck that I have right now. I told her parents that this would be the case and they were fine with that. She started out great, but now it has turned into a scenario that I'm not sure how to handle. First off, she is teething. They told me that they have been giving her Tylenol in the morning so that it helps her discomfort, but refuse to send anything with her for during the day. The poor thing is miserable! I have tried to talk to both parents about this and they make a quick excuse and all but run out the door. When I tried to show them her daily sheet, with specifics about her day, they said that was not necessary and didn't even look at it. They actually said today that they almost forgot to pick her up! They seem very concerned about some things, but not other very important things.:confused:

Unfortunately this is becoming more and more common. Parents are really overloaded at work , often wearing multiple hats since all support staff are the first to go in times of economic instability. Many live under threat of termination daily, especially young moms.

What I am seeing is that parents really just want to drop their kids off, then not have to worry about them for the 10 hours a day they are with you. They don't want bad news, they want you to handle what happens at your house and they will handle what happens at their house. YKWIM?

As far as the teething, anti-platelets (acetaminophen) are not quite as effective as anti-inflamatories (ibuprofen) for teething pain. The Tylenol is only getting 4 hours of minimal effect whereas simply switching to Motrin would allow her 8 hours of almost total relief.




The other issue I am having is they don't want her to nap b/c she goes to bed better at night (sigh). I told them that was not an option, she must nap, and they said they DO NOT want her to CIO, so if she does, she will have to be picked up and comforted. They said at home, she sleeps like a charm and has never slept at daycare. I told them that is probably b/c she was overstimulated in the center and that she is VERY tired here, but that it will take some time to get her to go to sleep w/o fussing. They said I could try to rock her and put her down, but no CIO. Even said they would be stopping by randomly to check. My policy states that if they do stop by to please not do so during nap time b/c, and if they do at any time, that they must take her with them when they leave. I seriously doubt that they will but it sets my nerves on edge anyway. I am starting to resent this situation and feel like it's risky to keep her b/c of their behavior, but I really need the income, we are SO struggling right now, so terming is not an issue. Any advice?

Unfortunately the parents will need to realize that they chose to put their child in daycare, as one of a group. CIO is the only option we have when caring for 6-14 kids, it is just reality. It is the parents responsibility to prepare their child for the best possible transition to daycare, THEY are doing the child a disservice by demanding "special".

The standard policy is "If your child has outgrown their nap, they have outgrown daycare." It really is that simple. Naptime is part of the daycare schedule, mandated by law in most places (here), it is not negotiable. If daycare is not right for their child then they need to make a different life decision.

Hope that helps

[wdmmom]

I completely agree with Cat!

I don't take on DCK's that don't require a nap. ALL KIDS NAP! NO EXCEPTIONS!

And, if this girl in new, CIO is something that's bound to happen. Kids cry when put in different scenarios, circumstances, etc. I give it about 2 weeks for them to adjust. Sometimes it takes less, sometimes more. Each kid is different.

What it comes down to is: These parents want to pick up their kid, feed her dinner, give her a bath and throw her to bed. If she's exhausted from not napping at your house, it's less awake time they have to deal with her. It's the easy way out for them as parents.

Naps are mandated in most states. If it is in yours, give the kid a nap. If they haggle you about it, you are following state protocol.

[cheerfuldom]

It sounds like you have been very clear on your expectations. Just do what you need to do, stop explaining yourself and if they have a problem with it then they can always leave. You are going to drive yourself crazy trying to accommodate ridiculous requests or trying to get a parent to see your side of things. Again, just put her down for a nap, let her cry if she needs that in order to fall asleep and don't feel that you have to give every detail to the parents. As long as she is happy and progressing there. Sometimes you can shoot yourself in the foot by volunteering info that will just be turned against you.

[missnikki]

If this is your only client, I think you could reason with them by saying "If she falls asleep, I won't wake her because she must need the rest, but I won't force her to sleep." Then CIO is not an issue.

[momma4many]

Thanks for the advice ladies When they picked her up today they said again that she has not been sleeping at home because of the naps here. I said again that she will be napping here, althought I will not force her to nap, if she gets tired, I won't wake her. He (dad) didn't seem too happy about it, so we'll see how it goes. Seems like since they have been bringing her, it has been one issue after another. Small ones, but still something every day. Guess I'm just going to have to get used to it and not offer any more info than is needed.

[daycare]

I would go as far as going on line and printing out how important sleep is to a child of this age. This way they can see children under 5 need at least 12-16 hours of sleep per 24 hour period. I can send you some stuff if you want..

[nannyde]

What you have are parents who want their child to go to bed as easy as possible and as early as possible. They want her to sleep as long as possible.

They are doing this because they don't want to be around her when she is awake. They know that having her awake is a lot harder than having her while she is sleeping. They are telling you what they KNOW works to have her sleeping as much as possible when she is with them.

At her age she should have two naps. An hour to an hour and a half in the morning and a two to two and a half hour nap in the afternoon. Even with those naps she should sleep a 10.5-12 hour night.

She is fussy and frentic because she is growing her brain and body with severe sleep deprivation. Adding daily tylenol to the mix is very hard on her little body. She should not be taking tylenol every day. It masks illness and is unnecessary. (I have done home child care for nearly 18 years and I have never once given Tylenol or advil for teething) The fussy inconsolable crying is toxic to her also.

They are just doing it wrong and you are on the front lines of dealing with their lack of knowledge and selfishness. You have to decide for yourself what you will and won't do for the money.

[Live and Learn]

1) I never give pain meds for teething. 7 years daycare, 17 years as parent.

2) Here she would go down for a nap from 9am to 11am....
And then again from 1pm to 3 pm.

She is probably cranky because she is exhausted.

I would cry it out and get her on a schedule. She will be much happier and so will you.

I would stop talking with the parents about negative things unless you want to lose this client. They are clearly lazy and the type of parent who just want you to deal with it and not inconvenience them with "your whining." They want to take her home, feed her, and have her drop to sleep from exhaustion.

[PeanutsGalore]

There's lots of good advice here. I just had to term a contract on a little one that I was advised to let go of earlier, but I waited because I needed the money and because I thought I could meet her needs. In the end, I couldn't. Sounds like you can meet the needs of this child just fine, but not the needs of the parents...and they don't count! (not in this context, anyway...). It also sounds like they feel YOU are working FOR them rather than with them while running your own business. If I were you, I'd get replacement clients as soon as possible and let these go. If htey want special treatment now, that's just going to get worse.

In the meanwhile, do what everyone else says to do and run your business the way you need to. Who cares if they decide to pop in unexpectedly? Not your problem. You've been up front with them, and if they don't like what they see, they can move along. Please don't worry youself about it, because allowing a child to nap is most certainly the best thing to do--for the child's sake!

Good luck!

[momma4many]

I would go as far as going on line and printing out how important sleep is to a child of this age. This way they can see children under 5 need at least 12-16 hours of sleep per 24 hour period. I can send you some stuff if you want..

That would be awesome if you have the info! Thanks

[daycare]

D

I'll pm you some in about an hour. Kids just woke up!
I had a family that askEd me to allow their 2 year old to stay up and I Sid no way! Printed this stuff out and said thi I why.

[Cat Herder]

She should not be taking Tylenol every day. It masks illness and is unnecessary. (I have done home child care for nearly 18 years and I have never once given Tylenol or Advil for teething) .

I agree with most of what you said, Tylenol builds up to toxic levels pretty quickly in the liver and the damage is irreversible. I do, however, give Motrin for TRUE painful teething from time to time. I was feeling too sympathetic to teething today, I guess to have missed the "Tylenol EVERY DAY" part....

I actually gave motrin to a 14 month old today for teething. First time in a long while. He has a molar coming in and the gum is swollen, red, hot and miserable. There is even a bit of ulceration in it.

He keeps shoving two fingers into the back of his throat and biting as hard as he can, it keeps bleeding and I am afraid of infection/cross infection if he does not get a bit of relief for the next couple days. Not to mention he has triggered his gag reflex a couple times and was dry heaving.

I do look in their mouth myself to confirm when I suspect it is ONLY teething since I already caught parent diagnosed "Teething" twice this year I rarely get sick, but the "bugs" seem to be getting stronger (or me weaker, you knows :

Not every kid gets this bad with teething, but every now and again one really has a bad time with it. Mom was on a end of year field trip with big brother today or I probably would have sent him home. "Big Brother" earned Honor Roll and wanted his Mom to himself for the day, I just did not have the heart to call

Mom is taking DCB to the dentist in the AM.

[momma4many]

Well, as an update today...they sent her today with no bottles, pacifiers or her baby doll. All of which they said HAD to go back and forth b/c she could not live without them. I have not had her nap yet w/o them, so I'm thinking today will be interesting. Real nice too that as mom left, she said, "Good luck today" with a big smile. She was holding the diaper bag until she walked out the door and I didn't think to look in it to make sure she had everything. I think they did this intentionally so she wouldn't nap today. Real mature.