Anyone Asked You This Before?

[daycare]

To unregistered..
one of things that most inhome DCs do not have is an assistant. Like me for example, I am the only one here and could not allow for a person to come in and tour during my business hours.

What if I have to go to the bathroom or assist a child in the bathroom. that would mean my DC children would be left unsupervised by a stranger. I would NEVER in a million years allow that to happen. and I know that you as a parent would never want that to happen to your child, if it did you would want that providers head....


We are not asking a parent to just leave their child with anyone, We are licensed and trusted DC providers and hopefully the client has checked all of our references and with LIC before starting any day care.


For me, once I get to know my DC parents and I feel comfortable with how they interact with children, I have allowed for the parents to come to special events. LIke hoilday parties, back to school night, open house, and so on.

[jen]

I've had people ask me to visit during daycare hours...I handle is like this. Families are allowed to come after-hours for an interview. IF we both feel that it's a good fit, the Mom or Dad may come and observe during a specified time period. We have various programs, travel-tots, spanish & music, ecfe and if they would like to bring their child and participate, for the designated time only, they are welcome too.

There is NO point in having someone with an infant shadow! I have interviewed people who were expecting and had them sign up in advance if I knew that I had an infant spot opening in the future. I invite them to come back after the baby is born so we can all meet again, prior to the baby starting.

If you are worried about a provider loosing it, make sure you check multiple references, both past and current clients, ask how often she has spots available and the average length of time that children remain in the program, and of course, make sure you check with licensing to see if there are any complaints.

If I had an assistant, I would be happy to accomodate a more flexible observation, but I don't and for all the reasons that daycare stated, it isn't safe to allow a stranger in the home for any length of time.

[Meeko]

Ah, so every web site and parenting guide is wrong that recommends that you tour during working hours so you can actually see how things are ran? But parents should sign your contracts stating that they must provide 2 or more weeks notice with pay if they choose to leave going just by what you tell them during an interview? (if there's no probationary period) Sounds like it's pretty one sided for the benefit of the provider. Your attitude is exactly why I chose center care. It doesn't matter if the kids are going to act up differently or not during the tour.

It's important that touring parents get to see things in action and to see how the provider handles things. I know if the kids were acting up and the provider loses it, I would never choose that provider, etc. I also would never choose a provider who have kids that are very aggressive either. I applaude the parent that came to the OP and asked to shadow - that is an involved, caring parent, not just a parent who is looking for just anywhere to dump their kid. (and there's plenty who just don't care where their kids go to daycare) If the provider has nothing to hide, then there's no good reason to not allow tours during certain working hours.

It is simply not safe for the provider or the children to allow strangers to hang out at a home day care. Most providers feel this way. Sadly...parents have been told all kinds of horror stories and told to assume that if a provider says no to you being there,,,then she MUST have something terrible to hide. That's why I said these so called "advisors" don't know what they are talking about, because they don't look at the big picture.

I used to allow it. Then I had a father who wanted to hang out on a regular basis. We found out he was a registered sex offender. His wife didn't even know. (THAT was a fun conversation...) Rape (of a child) in another state. He got out on "good behavior" moved here and started a new life with a wife who didn't know. He was abusing his own daughter (another story) and eventually went back to prison.

BUT I HAD THIS CREEP IN MY HOME.....he was getting off on spending time with the kids in my care.

...I will NEVER, EVER put myself or the children in that position again. I was in danger and the children were in danger. You would never have guessed it by looking at him. Clean cut, polite etc.....

Touring a center is different....lots of staff and other adults around. A lone woman doing day care should NEVER let a stranger...male OR female into her home and allow them to hang around. I even had my adult son here. I think that's the only reason the creep of a dad kept it low key.

I have been a provider for over 25 years. I have endless lists of happy clients and children and a waiting list of families who know and want what I have to offer. They have done their homework. They hear from other parents...they check my 100% compliant record with the state. There are much better ways to find out about a provider than shadowing her. You will NEVER see the true picture that way. Kids will play up...the provider will be awkward etc.

You would be awkward too if a supervisor in your office followed you around all day watching every move you made, listened in on all your phone calls, knew when you went to the bathroom........

You said "my attitude" is why you chose to go with a center. I guess we are all different. It's why I would NOT chose a center.

I am proud of "my attitude"!

I would not in a million years, leave my child in a center with a person who will probably leave in a few months (centers have DREADFULLY high turnover of employees) and be replaced with someone I have never met, is maybe doing the job because she can't get anything else and is just waiting for a better job to come along. I once worked in a center. I was there for 3 years and when I left I was the longest employee they ever had. It was a good center....but without benefits and high pay...most people moved on as soon as they could.

I would want my child with someone they grow to love. Someone who would be there for them every single day. Someone they could count on. I have a "newborn" who just graduated nursing school. We have been in touch her whole life. Kindergarten thru Graduation, boyfriends, her parents divorce. She could always count on me for support.

Most center kids won't even remember the names of the string of teachers they had. I have day care kids who will go to kindergarten this fall. They have been with me since they were newborns and I don't doubt I will be in contact with them for many years to come.

I cannot imagine my child having 20 caregivers during the course of their early years like they do in a center. To me...that's almost abusive.

Each to his own I guess..but please do not assume that a provider is hiding something by not having strangers in her home. Would YOU let strangers wander through YOUR home and interact with your child?? Then why would you want them doing it at the daycare home your child was in?

My day care clients LOVE the fact that their children are safe here. They don't have to worry that some stranger off the street is spending the day with their child. They don't have to worry that (unlike a center)...they will show up on Monday morning to find their child's "teacher" has been replaced by yet another new one.

Home providers LOVE their kids and their safety is out utmost concern. It's a slap in the face when that concern is interpreted as something shady.

So go ahead and keep your kids in that big center.......where they will no doubt meet your child's physical needs (but almost impossible to meet the emotional needs of a whole class) and let you (and anybody else with a pulse) spend time around your child..

We'll go on doing what we do.....nurturing children, loving them, and being a home away from home. We will go on forging life-long bonds with the children and reaping the rewards of knowing that we are providing a safe and happy enviroment for them. Parents are free to walk away from that if they wish.

They can chose to place their children in large centers. The fact that the emotional needs of their child cannot possibly be reasonably met in a huge class and that their child is nothing more than a number must be an acceptable trade off for being able to walk around at will for some........

[Meeko]

Another poster brought up a very good point about having to go to the bathroom and leaving strangers alone with the kids.

Soooo...let's just say....a lone provider gets a call from "pregnant" mom. "Mom" wants to come over and shadow the provider. Provider says yes because all the "experts" say a mom should do this. So she feel obligated...

"Mom arrives on the doorstep and provider lets her in. Mom asks questions. Provider does her best to answer them while trying to deal with kids who are all vying for the attention of the new person in the room. Provider has to go to the bathroom.

Provider comes out of the bathroom to find the front door wide open, toddlers in the yard and the newborn in her care is gone along with the "mom". Provider tells the police that "Mary Brown" came over to look at her day care. Mary Brown doesn't even exist, but the provider didn't ask for ID when she walked in the door.

This may sound far-fetched....but we have all heard numerous stories about newborns being taken from hospitals by crazy women dressed up in nurses uniforms. Doing it to a day care would be so much easier......I have had women call me and ask if I tend newborns. Most just want to know if I tend that young. But I really don't know for sure that some whacko isn't trying to find herself a kid!

This is just one scenario I never want to have to live through. So no...you can't hang out here!!! No....I don't want to tell a mom that her baby is gone on my watch because I LET A STRANGER IN!!!

I wish people could see how dangerous it is!

[MamaBear]

Totally agree

Yes I totally agree. I was telling my husband the other day that there are probably crazies out there that look at daycare ads and their websites, see a "cute" baby pictured in the ads and could easily pretend to be an interested daycare family... So her and the husband come over during daycare hours to "shadow" the provider and BOOM... they could take out the provider and basically take whichever baby they want. Maybe I've watched too many Lifetime movies... but it COULD happen!

Just dont risk that happening and do tours after hours and keep your doors locked. Its that easy.

[daycare]

lmao I love the drama in your story....however you are right..... everyone needs to plan for the worst and expect the best. Do you let strangers in your house to play with your kids? I think it's asking the same thing...