"Your so Strict"

[Lucy]

I would much rather have a kid in a car 45 min each way then have them in child care 11 hours a day. To me, that's just CRAZY.

There's SO many things parents can do to make the trips fun for the kids. I have kids now that commute 30 minutes every day. An extra fifteen minutes would be no problem.

The parents set up a mini toy room next to their seats. They stop on the way home half way to pick up this or that. They have portable DVD players and CD's to listen to. They talk to their kids.

It's not that big of a deal to commute with your kid. It's not ideal but it's better than being in child care for eleven hours a day. Kids need to be WITH their parents.

We have a history as a spiecies of children travelling with our parents to make a better life for the family. It's a "sacrifice" in this day and age and it was a risky sacrifice in the 1800's when families crossed the country in covered wagons. It's not a novel concept. If that's what the families HAVE to do in this day and age to propsper and be with each other then make the best of it and do what you have to do.

We are so spoiled it is rediculous.

Enough It's time we do what we HAVE to do. Family FIRST.

Out of my whole post, you focus on the car ride portion? It was added as an afterthought. My main points were school, and having them in a small-town atmosphere rather than large town. It's just my opinion and the opinions of my DC parents. It's life around here and we love it.

That being said, I have to disagree about the long car rides. I feel it's more important to have them in a home environment than to be strapped in a carseat one and a half (or more) hours every day - five days per week. IMO it's not quality time with the parent, who is trying to concentrate on the traffic. And it's 1 1/2 hours more exposure to a possible car wreck. Again, just my opinion. My DC kids are like family to me, so it's not like sticking them in a center for 11 hours. While with me, they are in their 2nd home. With all the comforts of their own home. As a part of their "other" family.

[nannyde]

Out of my whole post, you focus on the car ride portion? It was added as an afterthought. My main points were school, and having them in a small-town atmosphere rather than large town. It's just my opinion and the opinions of my DC parents. It's life around here and we love it.

That being said, I have to disagree about the long car rides. I feel it's more important to have them in a home environment than to be strapped in a carseat one and a half (or more) hours every day - five days per week. IMO it's not quality time with the parent, who is trying to concentrate on the traffic. And it's 1 1/2 hours more exposure to a possible car wreck. Again, just my opinion. My DC kids are like family to me, so it's not like sticking them in a center for 11 hours. While with me, they are in their 2nd home. With all the comforts of their own home. As a part of their "other" family.

I get what you are saying. I do.

I'm saying that it's just too long to be away from parents. Parents need TIME with their kids.

I love the second family thing.. but that's it.. it has to be SECOND. I love my schmooks very much but nine hours a day five days a week is ENOUGH for them to be away from first family.

These kids need their PARENTS and to be in their SMALL family groups. They NEED their mothers.... they need their siblings... they need their Daddy. I can't ever be even close to that no matter how good I am and how nice my world is.

I can't even imagine having a kid here eleven hours a day five days a week. It's beyond my comprehension.

[Lucy]

And I do see the validity to that as well. But parents do what they have to do. A job these days is a privilege, not a right, and unfortunately, they take what they can get. I was more focused on NOT being in the car that long than I was being with me a tad longer. But really, it's primarily the school issue. You must attend Daycare in your school district in order to ride the bus. It's as simple as that. And since they grow up at my Daycare, parents must choose a DC in our little town. No matter WHERE they work.

[nannyde]

And I do see the validity to that as well. But parents do what they have to do. A job these days is a privilege, not a right, and unfortunately, they take what they can get. I was more focused on NOT being in the car that long than I was being with me a tad longer. But really, it's primarily the school issue. You must attend Daycare in your school district in order to ride the bus. It's as simple as that. And since they grow up at my Daycare, parents must choose a DC in our little town. No matter WHERE they work.

I get it. I just couldn't provide that service.

I think I remember you saying that you have a small group. I have a big group and in a few months I will most likely expand to a bigger group. I wouldn't want a kid that many hours with this many kids. It's just too much. It wouldn't be good for any kid to be at my house for eleven hours a day five days a week.

[squareone]

The quick answer to that is you can't take your school-age kids to another town for Daycare.

Good point. My own haven't started school yet so I hadn't considered it.

That being said, I have to disagree about the long car rides. I feel it's more important to have them in a home environment than to be strapped in a carseat one and a half (or more) hours every day - five days per week. IMO it's not quality time with the parent, who is trying to concentrate on the traffic. And it's 1 1/2 hours more exposure to a possible car wreck. Again, just my opinion.

I see both sides. I was just curious why more parents didn't do this and you gave a very vaild reason (school districts). I did what was best for my family situation. I was a new mom and wanted access to my children during the day. I could have pumped but I wanted to nurse, I wanted to pop in from time to time, I wanted to be available the instant I got that sick call, etc. You know how antsy the other kids get after the first kid gets picked up each day? I wouldn't have been able to stand the thought of my kids being last to be picked up at daycare every single day Even if my commute was an 1+ hours each way I wouldn't have changed a thing. JMO.

[jojosmommy]

Thanks for all the info.

I did have one mom who drove 45 min to get to my house (then 3 min to work from here) and at 9 months old her daughter started screaming the entire way. She toughed it out for a number of weeks and eventually purchased a DVD player for the car. Quality time- not really. Eventually it got so bad even with the dvd that she quit and drops her off 3 min from home and commutes without her to work. And yes she drops her off on her days off!

My son screams the entire way to my moms house (1 hour 30 min) and the trip is terrible. We use herbal ginger drops to quiet what we believe is car sickness and it makes it tolerable but I would not want to do that everyday before work!

[dEHmom]

re. the commute.....when I needed care, as well as for many of my parents, it's about safety. It's about not having to risk driving 45 minutes each way and increasing the risk of my/their children being in an accident. I TOTALLY get that.

this is what i was thinking too...

i'm not saying i never travel with my children, we drive an hour to go visit grandparents on weekends, etc.

but when i learned to drive, my dad always said to me ..... don't drive just because you can. each time you get in the car, you are increasing your chances of an accident.

time in the car for children needs to be quality time, and they will need to be in the vehicles regardless. but more trips, longer trips, more often, is increasing the odds that they will be in an accident.

my dad has been driving for 50 yrs, and he hasn't had an accident in 30 yrs or more. he's a careful driver (we all know a lot of parents are not), and he avoids traffic as much as he can. if he has to go 5 mins out of his way to stay away from cars, busy intersections or anything else, he will. seems silly, but it works.

these days, there are too many careless drivers, texting, talking, playing with radio, drunk driving, and whatever else. i've been tempted to swerve in front of the cars with the texters on the highway (90% of my driving is hwy btw) just to get their attention. but i wouldn't do it.

when driving/walking/biking or whatever else, you need to worry about everyone else, not yourself. i wouldn't care if some poo head smashed into me because they were texting, as long as my children were not in the vehicle at the time. then i can get out, and give them a piece of my mind, without my children seeing me behave poorly alot of parent aren't afraid to behave badly in front of their children, and their children are going to act as their parents act. rude mom=ruder child.