Do Your Own Kids Get Special Priveledges?

[DBug]

We have "daycare kids" and "daycare rules" around here, and everyone (my own kids and the dc kids) know what those mean. My 3yo dd is allowed to leave the playroom whenever she wants. When any of the dc kids objects, they know it's because she's not a daycare kid, she lives here. We have a set of rules in place for daycare hours. If dc kids are around, dc rules must be followed. But, if my kids are in the backyard, and the dc kids are inside, daycare rules no longer apply in the backyard .

But, it also helps that we have dedicated daycare toys & space. Any other toys brought into the playroom must pass the choke hazard test and they must be taken back out of the playroom when my dd is done sharing them. If my own kids have snacks, they need to eat them downstairs or somewhere the dc kids can't see them.

There is one exception to that rule though -- I've been baking cookies during naptime for the past couple of years, so that my sons have fresh chocolate chip cookies waiting for them when they get home from school (while I'm in the backyard with the dc kids). For the longest time I've made sure the dc kids didn't see them at all, because I thought they would complain about not getting them too. But in the last couple of months, the dc kids have started mentioning the fact that my kids get cookies, but that's okay because they get treats at their houses too . We have dc snack at about the same time and they've never once asked to have a choc chip cookie like the boys do. So I don't keep them hidden anymore ::.

Thing is, I think kids are much smarter than we give them credit for. They know quite well that they get special privileges and treats at their own houses. I think as long as we teach our own kids to behave and not make a big deal about what they get to do, the dc kids will understand.

[MyAngels]

I totally agree and this is what I do with my own kids who are both school age. My youngest WAS one of the DCK's until she started school. I treat them all like my little darlings so she never felt left out. Heck...most of them call me Mama or Mom when they start to talk. I break that one quickly though. I don't want the real mama's to feel upset about it.

You're lucky, I'm being called "grandma" quite often now .

[melissa ann]

My kids (6 & 4) are allowed to ride their bikes in the garage when we are outside in the yard, if they want to. Sometimes, we have other activities in
the evening and can't ride them later. The dcks are not allowed to play with my kids leapsters. My son (4) is very generous and will let the kids play with his other toys. But he just got the leapster for his b-day this week and that's just for him.

[PitterPatter]

I think that the right answer truly depends on the age of your own child. If they are under 5 then I can see how they should be treated the same way. However once they reach Kindergarten and older they should be encouraged to have their own social lives and play next door, up the block or in their own rooms. To me, that would be the difference in how I treat my own vs the dck's.

This is exactly how I feel! Perfectly put Blackcat!

When my son was young he participated most of the time and always had the same basic rules. He was permitted to go relax in his room if it became too much for him but we usually remained as a group. Now that he is 9 he just doen't have much in common with 2 yr olds so he is permiited to do his own thing when playing with Duplos and clipos become boring. He is always supervised but if he wants to go hang out at Grans or his Aunts or go get a special treat at DQ, etc he is permitted to do so. Come summer he does like to play in the yard with the kids. Lots more to do with water gadgets, sand, swingset, etc.

[PitterPatter]

My kids (6 & 4) are allowed to ride their bikes in the garage when we are outside in the yard, if they want to. Sometimes, we have other activities in
the evening and can't ride them later. The dcks are not allowed to play with my kids leapsters. My son (4) is very generous and will let the kids play with his other toys. But he just got the leapster for his b-day this week and that's just for him.

Same here. The kids can use the Vsmile in the game room but the leapster is still off limits, even though my son doesn't use it much since he got the DS (Nintendo). I do have him take the DS to his room and play because the kids want to take turns and they have no clue what to do with a DS. He has been down in the living room with it a few times in the past and a parent got upset that her 2 yr old wasn't given a turn but what can a 2 yr old do with a DS? He barely knows his numbers let alone how to muliply them. So now it is to stay up in his room 100% of the time so we don't have any issues. I think some parents forget this is still a FAMILY HOME and not everything is for their kid.

[Christian Mother]

I am not sure if I would call it "Special Privileges" but all my kids are under 3yrs of age and my 2 older children usually eat before my DCK comes for the day and when my oldest comes home from school he sits down for a snack which the kids see as something they usually eat or something that is just for him alone and don't get upset over it. They are used to the routine. He then goes straight to home work and at that same time mine are sitting down for afternoon snack so I can help him with his homework. No complaints. My youngest goes to preschool and when she gets home the kids are already down for nap so what she eats or picks out is either something they had or would of had during the week. Same with snack. Playing wise my youngest plays with all the kidos here or a friend will come over to play with her or all the kids and my oldest will go to a neighbors house or bring them over and I've never had a complaint. If anything i end up having a house full of kids at the end of the day and I am the one complaining...thought that I was losing kids only to be gaining some... Also, my son isn't allowed to play the xbox 360 everyday. Home work has to be finished and the kids have to be gone before he can play. Sometimes I have kids that are here past there pick up time and I will allow my son to play when this happens and I haven't had any upset parents or kids. If anything they are intrigued.