My Child was Tied to a Chair at Daycare

[Unregistered]

Concern Parent

You have every right to be concerned. I live here in Florida and it is aganist the law to restrain a person aganist their will if they are not a danger to themselves or others. But even if it's not i don't i would like my child tied up with a scarf of any kind. please check intop this because this sounds more like child abuse!!

Concerned Parent!!

[mac60]

As I said before "If she was using the scarf as a means of safety to keep him from falling out of the booster seat then honestly, I don't see anything wrong with it.....I personally never understood why they would make a booster seat without a belt, if he was actually hog tied to the chair, well then, hmm."

Hog tied or bound, or strapped in for safety? Big difference here.

I personally don't see anything wrong with what she did, as it appears the center was only taking a safety precaution so your young child and the other children do not fall off of or stand on the chair and get hurt, etc. Using the strap as a preventative measure for falling off is much different than being hog tied and strapped in. I can see these same parents who are complaining about this, complaining the first time their child falls off their seat and bumps their head.....why weren't they strapped in!

[Former Teacher]

As I said before "If she was using the scarf as a means of safety to keep him from falling out of the booster seat then honestly, I don't see anything wrong with it.....I personally never understood why they would make a booster seat without a belt, if he was actually hog tied to the chair, well then, hmm."

Hog tied or bound, or strapped in for safety? Big difference here.

I personally don't see anything wrong with what she did, as it appears the center was only taking a safety precaution so your young child and the other children do not fall off of or stand on the chair and get hurt, etc. Using the strap as a preventative measure for falling off is much different than being hog tied and strapped in. I can see these same parents who are complaining about this, complaining the first time their child falls off their seat and bumps their head.....why weren't they strapped in!

Oh brother - I told myself I wouldn't re-post to this thread but I have to. Mac- I agree with you about the complaining. It's darn if you do and darn if you don't

I like to throw this out there. In TX you are REQUIRED to have a child strapped in a seat whether it be a highchair or whatever. At my former center we had a half moon table with 6 chairs. My former director got it from a man selling it for $50. This table is valued in the $100's. It came without straps. The children were FINE in them. Yes they tried to crawl out and some of the taller ones did *smile* However again agreeing with Mac-hog tied or strapped in for protection are totally different. Every one's opinion is different.

FYI: this will tell you about TX licensing. EVERY single rep we had told us to get straps. We never did. I think the director looked into it and we would have to buy a whole new chair. Did we ever get written up for it? NOPE

Tiffer: with all due respect - if you are SO upset about this center, why do you keep on bringing your child there? Even if it is for 2 days a week? Why go and reporting them and causing bad waves etc for only 2 days a week? Again with ALL due respect, parents like you make me cringe. I don't know your situation but if you feel and it sounds like you do feel, that your son is being mistreated, and the providers are not listening to you, why do you still bring your son there?

Parents never cease to amaze me

[Chickenhauler]

Using the strap as a preventative measure for falling off is much different than being hog tied and strapped in. I can see these same parents who are complaining about this, complaining the first time their child falls off their seat and bumps their head.....why weren't they strapped in!

Naw, a 2 year old wouldn't stand in their chair, or climb up and stand on the table, or think they're superman and jump off the table.....(insert sarcasm smiley here).

Once kids (especially boys) figure out walking, their next goal is climb everything in sight....couches, chairs, tables bookshelves, trees, the dog....then once they get up there, they discover the desire to fly, and then discover gravity.

Seen this WAY too many times.

[Tiffer]

The web

Sorry, folks, but my son is not a climber. I'm telling you, this place has these kids strapped down to "teach them" not for safety. The chairs are toddler sized, and my son is almost too big for them. And the fact that the state says it's OK to strap them at mealtimes, but not any other time, and I walked in and he was strapped AT ANOTHER TIME - yes, it's a huge issue.

And as I explained before, I have nowhere else to take him for two days a week. Maybe I should leave him at home, strapped down 'for his safety' so I can go off to work?

He goes someplace new on Monday, and DCFS is opening an investigation against this place after I called to tell them is was strapped down during naptime, along with three other kids.

I love how people, no matter where you are on the web, don't read the whole post and then stick their dumb judgments out there for all to read. Well, for those of us who actually bother to read the whole thing, anyway.

With all due respect, sounds like you people are a bunch of daycare providers who think parents are evil and should just accept whatever measures you think up for our kids 'safety.'

I think I'm the one who is amazed here...

[sweetcinna]

I think i have to agree with the rest of the providers here......All children in my care are strapped into their chairs anytime they sit in them. Here's a lil story for ya.....Had a lil boy in my care (we'll call him Billy). Well Billy was a normal very active 2 year old, not a climber but still very active. One day at lunch Billy decided that he didn't want to eat lunch and turned around in his chair,(the very same Blue chairs that you posted) stradling it with his back to the table and his lunch. Well me being the provider corrected him and asked Billy to please turn around and eat his lunch, Billy didn't listen, once again Billy was asked to please turn around in his chair and i explained to Billy that it is lunch time and not play time and to please listen to Mrs. Cinna, once again no response. So in effort to "teach him how to sit in a chair properly" i walked over to Billy to turn Billy around in the chair myself. Well i didn't make it in time and Billy tried to stand up while stradling the chair and POW, Billy and the chair went face first onto my tile floor busting his nose and lip wide open!
Now if Billy was strapped in (or restrained as you put it) this would have never happened, Billy would not have been able to turn around in his chair and Billy would not have had to get 5 stiches in his lip.
So my question to you Tiffer is this, What happens when your child is strapped (our restrained which just sound morbid) at the next daycare? Are you going to turn them in also?

As far as us all being bitter providers who "think all parents are evil"............This is a place for us to come and talk about our problems and concerns as to being a provider and to help each other, lean on each other and share with each other. I've said it many times and I'll say it again, This(along with nursing) is one of the most Thankless jobs out there!

[judytrickett]

I love how people, no matter where you are on the web, don't read the whole post and then stick their dumb judgments out there for all to read. Well, for those of us who actually bother to read the whole thing, anyway.

With all due respect, sounds like you people are a bunch of daycare providers who think parents are evil and should just accept whatever measures you think up for our kids 'safety.'

I think I'm the one who is amazed here...

Wow, really? You really believed you could come onto a daycare providers forum and assume that you wouldn't get the side of a daycare provider? In fact, given what you have posted and the tone of your posts I think everyone treated you rather fairly.

First off, your topic title is a little overboard. It is apparent that you want to blow the situation out of proportion. A child being restrained in a chair that HAS straps on it is, IMO, using the chair as the manufacturer intended. I wouldn't put a child in a stroller that had straps and not use them. WHy is a chair any different?

With all due respect, sounds like you people are a bunch of daycare providers who think parents are evil and should just accept whatever measures you think up for our kids 'safety.'

Well, you got me there. Yep, parents like YOU do make us think you are evil. Sadly, most parents are painted with the same brush because people like you are hard to forget. I sure am glad you are not in my daycare. Oh, wait, if you acted like you said you did here on this forum you wouldn't last long in care!

I have a crystal ball and it says.......you will never be satisfied in any daycare. There will always be something that you are not happy with. Sadly, your child will be shuffled from care situation to care situation, leaving behind those he has bonded with everytime. Why? Because mommy didn't "get it".

[Chickenhauler]

Sorry, folks, but my son is not a climber. I'm telling you, this place has these kids strapped down to "teach them" not for safety. The chairs are toddler sized, and my son is almost too big for them. And the fact that the state says it's OK to strap them at mealtimes, but not any other time, and I walked in and he was strapped AT ANOTHER TIME - yes, it's a huge issue.

And as I explained before, I have nowhere else to take him for two days a week. Maybe I should leave him at home, strapped down 'for his safety' so I can go off to work?

He goes someplace new on Monday, and DCFS is opening an investigation against this place after I called to tell them is was strapped down during naptime, along with three other kids.

I love how people, no matter where you are on the web, don't read the whole post and then stick their dumb judgments out there for all to read. Well, for those of us who actually bother to read the whole thing, anyway.

With all due respect, sounds like you people are a bunch of daycare providers who think parents are evil and should just accept whatever measures you think up for our kids 'safety.'

I think I'm the one who is amazed here...

Yes, yes, we all know that your kid is special, and would never do a thing like that..........

As for your comment about "dumb judgements".....how many kids have you cared for? Because it doesn't seem to matter if it's different kids, from different homes, different upbringings, they all do the same stuff sooner or later.

I got news for you.....ALL kids are climbers, it's part of the learning process of exploring boundaries and awakening curiosity in life. If your child isn't curious, then you got more to be worried about than a seatbelt.

We do crafts, coloring, etc at the table, and the younger one (toddlers) sit in booster seats, and get strapped in for their (and others) safety.

All it takes is one second of inattention (wiping Bobby's runny nose) and Billy decides he's going to try that stunt he saw on WWF last week.

[momofsix]

I think you are going WAY overboard to call in DCFS for this. Your child was not in any way being abused, or in any danger at all! You just didn't happen to like the way they do things, and that's fine, pull him out. But that is NO reason to create a big scandal for the center. DCFS is there to protect children that might be in dangerous situations, not to make sure child care centers cater to every parents demands. The way you're logic goes, the next parent might call DCFS of their child is NOT strapped in, because she wants him to be safe. Parental preference should NEVER rule a centers policies. I hope you reconsider your position on this.

[DBug]

Whoa!

Whoa, there's alot of bitterness here!

I am a home daycare provider. I have 9 different children that come and go through my house at various times every week, in addition to my own 3 children. And I have to side with the parent in this situation. Frankly, if I saw my own child tied to a chair with a scarf, I'd report it too. I would never use anything other than the belts provided with the high chairs or booster seats that I use. If I didn't have enough safe seats for the kids in my care, I wouldn't be doing my job. If I register a new child, I buy whatever equipment I need for that child before he or she starts. To do anything less would be negligent.

And I'm pretty disappointed that my colleagues in the profession are treating this particular parent with such disrespect. Yes, we do have tons of experience, and yes, we do spend more waking hours with these children than some of their parents do, but I don't think that's any reason to berate a parent's desire for good, safe care for their child.

[judytrickett]

And I'm pretty disappointed that my colleagues in the profession are treating this particular parent with such disrespect. Yes, we do have tons of experience, and yes, we do spend more waking hours with these children than some of their parents do, but I don't think that's any reason to berate a parent's desire for good, safe care for their child.

This poster WAS treated with respect and received some very valid, honest answers from many people here. And if you go back and read every post you will see that every provider here was nice and helpful until the OP said:

I love how people, no matter where you are on the web, don't read the whole post and then stick their dumb judgments out there for all to read. Well, for those of us who actually bother to read the whole thing, anyway.

With all due respect, sounds like you people are a bunch of daycare providers who think parents are evil and should just accept whatever measures you think up for our kids 'safety.'

When you get nasty and start slinging mud at the very people who took the time to consider your problem and give an honest answer then IMO YOU are the one who upset the apple cart.

Remember - parents can be unprofessional too!

[Unregistered]

Im confused

Ok I seem to have missed where we as providers have decided that children should be in a bubble and will just teach it to them later. Since when does tying a child into a seat that they can perfectly sit down and get out of without a problem teach the child anything? We all discuss manners on here and how we are expecting it from each other but not from the children??? So instead of expecting the children to sit at the table we give them no other option, no chance to show us that they have learned what we are instilling in them and can sit on their own?

I was a toddler teacher for 10 years in a centre. We had appropriate height tables and chairs with 5 toddlers (18months to 24months) to a table with one teacher. Two tables in a room. Never in my ten years have I strapped a child into the chairs. Sure there were days where a child would test my patience and get up over and over again but since I am there to teach the children things I would over and over again and show the child the appropriate behaviour until it stuck. Im not sure what tying them to a chair teaches them? Will we forever tie them to chairs in hopes that they dont fall down. That they dont burst that imaginary bubble that many parents have put around them? Are we no better now that we can only think about the fact that the child will fall ( all children fall all children get bruises and hurt) if the chairs are the appropriate height the children will be fine.

Sure accidents happen and children fall and bust open lips and have nose bleeds. Thats what kids do how many of us can honestly say that as a kid we didnt get a nose bleed from a fall or skin our knees from running when we shouldnt of. How else does a child learn if we are constantly strapping them into things. I guess I didnt realize that we as providers have gone the way of over protective parents and can only think of the worst case scenario and not what is actually going to help the child in the long run. I guess im just confused why what is best for the child is not what will help them grow and be well mannered but what is easier.

I know that this isnt exactly what Tiffer was talking about however I couldnt believe the number of childcare professionals on here who were willing to admit that they tie children in age appropriate chairs instead of taking the time to teach them what is appropriate. I am saddened to see that we have become so structured and busy that we cant spend a day incorporating games and songs and stories which all teach the children how to sit. Maybe instead of doing the theme Halloween we could be doing the theme of chairs. Sounds boring but can you think of how many things you could do to incorporate chairs and the appropriate way to sit and continue sitting? Make learning to stay sitting fun. I know this didnt help Tiffer but I hope that maybe it did make some of you think about what you are teaching during the day and if maybe you could incorporate teaching some different life skills into your day.
Just a thought.

[judytrickett]

Ok I seem to have missed where we as providers have decided that children should be in a bubble and will just teach it to them later. Since when does tying a child into a seat that they can perfectly sit down and get out of without a problem teach the child anything? We all discuss manners on here and how we are expecting it from each other but not from the children??? So instead of expecting the children to sit at the table we give them no other option, no chance to show us that they have learned what we are instilling in them and can sit on their own?

.

I agree with you. In fact, my original response to this poster stated my same opinions:

Judytrickett said:That said, it is my personal belief that if you provide kids with kid-sized furniture throughout the daycare day then have the luxury of sitting untethered. And, it is always better, IME, to TEACH a child that sitting for meals, and staying there is what is polite and appropriate rather than tethering. Because with tethering or confining etc the FIRST time that child is NOT tethered they will be out of the chair. The reason is they have only learned that tethering is the reason the can't get out instead of learning that the need for good manners is the reason they may not leave.

But, we also must take into account the many varied rules and regulations out there across the country and in different countries. I don't know where the OP was from nor do I know the specific state/province mandated rules regarding such things in a commercial daycare.

So, while, yes, I agree with the basis of your premise in teaching children rather than confining them perhaps the workers at the centre were just "doing their job". Because I know that there are plenty of rules in daycare that do not make sense to me so I can see who this might have been a rule as well.

I think this thread took a turn and got completely off topic when the OP started being nasty.

[Chickenhauler]

Ok I seem to have missed where we as providers have decided that children should be in a bubble and will just teach it to them later. Since when does tying a child into a seat that they can perfectly sit down and get out of without a problem teach the child anything? We all discuss manners on here and how we are expecting it from each other but not from the children??? So instead of expecting the children to sit at the table we give them no other option, no chance to show us that they have learned what we are instilling in them and can sit on their own?

I was a toddler teacher for 10 years in a centre. We had appropriate height tables and chairs with 5 toddlers (18months to 24months) to a table with one teacher. Two tables in a room. Never in my ten years have I strapped a child into the chairs. Sure there were days where a child would test my patience and get up over and over again but since I am there to teach the children things I would over and over again and show the child the appropriate behaviour until it stuck. Im not sure what tying them to a chair teaches them? Will we forever tie them to chairs in hopes that they dont fall down. That they dont burst that imaginary bubble that many parents have put around them? Are we no better now that we can only think about the fact that the child will fall ( all children fall all children get bruises and hurt) if the chairs are the appropriate height the children will be fine.

Sure accidents happen and children fall and bust open lips and have nose bleeds. Thats what kids do how many of us can honestly say that as a kid we didnt get a nose bleed from a fall or skin our knees from running when we shouldnt of. How else does a child learn if we are constantly strapping them into things. I guess I didnt realize that we as providers have gone the way of over protective parents and can only think of the worst case scenario and not what is actually going to help the child in the long run. I guess im just confused why what is best for the child is not what will help them grow and be well mannered but what is easier.

I know that this isnt exactly what Tiffer was talking about however I couldnt believe the number of childcare professionals on here who were willing to admit that they tie children in age appropriate chairs instead of taking the time to teach them what is appropriate. I am saddened to see that we have become so structured and busy that we cant spend a day incorporating games and songs and stories which all teach the children how to sit. Maybe instead of doing the theme Halloween we could be doing the theme of chairs. Sounds boring but can you think of how many things you could do to incorporate chairs and the appropriate way to sit and continue sitting? Make learning to stay sitting fun. I know this didnt help Tiffer but I hope that maybe it did make some of you think about what you are teaching during the day and if maybe you could incorporate teaching some different life skills into your day.
Just a thought.

You want to know why?

It's called liability, litigation, and trial lawyers.

Myself, I like my house, my car, and my savings. Not really interested in losing any of them. CYA.

[mac60]

Did we ever really find out if the child was simply strapped in with the scarf, just as if he would of been if strapped in with the strap, or was he hog tied. It does make a big difference in the situation.

As far as the teaching children issues......I am old school, and have very different thoughts on some things verses the "new way" of discipline. In my house when my kids were small, if I was to tell them to sit down in a chair and they didn't, I would not be repeating myself 3, 4, or 5 times, I would be swatting their butt, placing it in the chair showing them the correct way to sit at the table, and they would of listened. But today, for some warped reason, many parents, the governemnt and our society, has taken to frown upon discipling children, too afraid of hurting their feelings, and all we have to do is look at the brats when you go to WalMart, the situations at the schools, the issues at daycares, and you can see that the "new way" of raising young children has totally failed, yet people just keep on doing it. I personally think it is ironic that society has come to place young children in daycare settings, yet while the child is there 6/8/10 hours per day, the daycare providers are not allowed to discipline a child. No wonder kids are such brats, they learn early on that the provider can't really do anything when they misbehave.......yet they can't learn to sit in a chair, not bite someone, or any of the other issues we deal with. Maybe that is called selective learning because I know you can't touch me syndrome.