Potty Training Advice

[WImom]

I have a DCG (she is here 4 days a week 7-4:30) that started potty training at home about 2 weeks ago. DCD came in on a Monday and said she was doing great in underwear all weekend and wanted her in underwear. I told him my policy of two week accident free (minus naps) before underwear here and I also sent home that day the part in my contract about potty training for them to read over again.

So in the last two weeks DCG has never once gone to the potty on her own and when I ask if she has to go she always says no. She does go potty when I take her but it's about 2 times a day that she wets in her pull up and she always poops in her pull up. If she's dry when I take her to the potty she does go though but it's by chance I think.

Mom says she's been in underwear for these two weeks at home and even when they go out and at grandma's house and has been doing great (dad said they change her into underwear when she gets home each night). In the beginning I offered to do underwear with plastic pants so that we wouldn't use diapers or pull ups but mom says dad refuses and hates that I require the pull ups even.

Not sure what to do here. I have a carpeted daycare room and I'm not cleaning carpet all day. I want to let them know it's standard policy in daycares to have them be accident free since dad seems to think I'm being unreasonable. I'm also stumped on the training at my house. I have four kids total and only one is in diapers so I would think she'd do great here.

Anyone know why she's only potty trained at home? Also help on responding back to the parents on this issue.

[Zoe]

Your environment is different than her home. Even if she really is potty trained at home (and sometimes the parents aren't honest, but that's another thing entirely) that doesn't mean that she feels comfortable yet to go potty at our home.

If it's in your policy, then stick to it! It's clear she isn't ready yet and it's not fair to you to have to clean up the mess! Also, it's not going to help the potty training process for dcg if you have her in underwear when she's not ready!

This is a situation that requires a backbone. Tell the parents that this is your policy, and even though she's having success at home, you need to see for yourself that she is having success in your care and needs to be in diapers or pull-ups until that time. Reassure them of what you are doing to help potty train her and maybe it will ease them a little knowing that you aren't just sticking her in pull-ups and allowing her to pee in them.

Good luck!

[SandeeAR]

When the parent says, "they are potty trained at home", that is usually code for, I take him/her to the potty and set them on it every hour.

In a home environment, group setting, we just don't have that sort of time, when we are the only one taking care of them all. We are not focused on taking little Susie or Johnny and setting them on the potty every hour.

I don't need to be potty trained, Little Susie or Johnny does. IMHO, if they won't respond to "do you need to go potty", they aren't ready. Again, JMHO.

[SilverSabre25]

To give another side of it, my DD was potty trained when in underwear, but would still go in a diaper if she was wearing a diaper. She did this for months before I decided one day to just "run out" of diapers and put her in underwear and never looked back. She wore diapers for nighttime still, and if I didn't take it off her immediately in the morning she would still go in her diaper on purpose.

My little dcb who started in underwear this week has been potty trained at home for awhile but not here; I started to suspect that he would be the same as my DD, and sure enough, when he started in undies here earlier this week, he hasn't had any pee accidents at all (poop is a different story, mind you, but at least he's telling me immediately after it happens rather than not at all, so it's not a huge mess). Before this week he had only ever initiated potty trips with me about two or three times (he's verbally delayed but catching up fast).

So all that to say that...some kids don't care about diapers but do happily keep undies dry.

[Hunni Bee]

To give another side of it, my DD was potty trained when in underwear, but would still go in a diaper if she was wearing a diaper. She did this for months before I decided one day to just "run out" of diapers and put her in underwear and never looked back. She wore diapers for nighttime still, and if I didn't take it off her immediately in the morning she would still go in her diaper on purpose.

My little dcb who started in underwear this week has been potty trained at home for awhile but not here; I started to suspect that he would be the same as my DD, and sure enough, when he started in undies here earlier this week, he hasn't had any pee accidents at all (poop is a different story, mind you, but at least he's telling me immediately after it happens rather than not at all, so it's not a huge mess). Before this week he had only ever initiated potty trips with me about two or three times (he's verbally delayed but catching up fast).

So all that to say that...some kids don't care about diapers but do happily keep undies dry.

Im of this opinion too. And when I see this happening...perfectly capable of using the potty but going in pull-up, or going in pull-up soon after unsuccessful potty runs, I go cold-turkey to underwear. When I'm going to do this, I let the parent know and ask for more back-up clothing. And then we go every 30 minutes. Then if thats successful, every 45. Then every hour, then at only at transitions times (arrival, playtime to outside time, lunch to nap, etc.). If they have an accident, we deal with it but we dont go back to pull-ups. This is a lot of work, but honestly I'd rather clean up a few pottying accidents than change pull-ups every hour for months.