trouble family?

[Unregistered]

I'm a registered user but logged out...

I have this family of three kids that are just constant trouble. I have never had any issues with children getting to me and stressing me out but each of the three do it daily. The 10 month old is a constant crier and I give him extra attention but he requires all attention. The two year old throws constant tantrums (I get that she's two and some might say it's just the age but this is beyond terrible twos) and she is very destructive tearing up SEVERAL toys, blinds, curtains. I mean I know having a daycare in my home would bring risks of things being torn up and I understand but if I don't follow her around, and am on her constantly something will be ruined. The oldest who is 4, hits, pinches, licks, kicks, says doody head, and other words like that. Sitting him in time out, telling him parents and seperating him from play has not worked. At one time he even sat in time out and grabbed something to throw at another kid. It honestly is never out of mean-ness either. I'm just at my end with this family but since there is 3 they are a huge part of my income.

I honestly love the parents, but they are also fickle. I never know when the oldest is coming until the day of (he is just part time). He didn't show up one day when he was supposed to and they asked for that day's money back (thank goodness they pay me in advance). They are also the parents that both take the day off work but bring the kids and then get sitters on the weekend as well.

Basically, I'm just looking for advice on how to handle this situation, also to vent .

[E Daycare]

says doody head.

I dont have any advice as Im having a horrible day myself but reading this made me stop crying and actually . Sorry, I know its wrong and youre having a terrible time with this nutso family but reading doody head made me laugh.

I know we'd love to say "see ya" to these crazies but like you, I cant get rid of my "doody heads". I honestly dont know what to say to this.

Im going out tomorrow night, want to come along? We have a party bus coming and tons of adult drinks. Maybe thatll help, for the night at least? heh...

[Unregistered]

haha I would LOVE an adult beverage!!!! Yah the doody head part would be funny.... in moderation. They are just such jacks.... and I've never ever ever in a gazillion years think I was on the verge of disliking a child but geez! I actually wonder if there is neglect or abuse in the home because of some things I have seen. According to the parents at the interview they are perfect angels and were just looking for a new daycare..... I should have looked into their old daycare a bit more and the reasons they left. Slowly but surely I'm starting the see that the parents don't think they are perfect angels and toss them off to anyone and everyone. BLAH!!!!!!

[Lilbutterflie]

I also have a family of 3 children, very close in age, and I have behavior issues with them as well. Some days I feel so overwhelmed!

I have found that I really think a lot of their issues are all about needing individual attention. Each child has a secret to what works; but mostly I have found that talking to them one on one and giving them lots of hugs and praise for what they do correctly generally makes them behave a lot better. This is a recent discovery for me; the beginning of last week I was at my wits end with one of the boys! I got some advice on this forum to give him a lot more one on one attention and his behavior this week has drastically improved.

For the attention hogging 10 month old; you obviously can't focus 100% of the attention on him. Let him cry it out for short periods of time. They have to learn to play independantly.

For the two year old destructive child, I'll bet that's why she's destructive. She is upset that most of the attention goes to the baby. Try to give the 2 yo as much attention and praise as you can. When she gets destructive, put her in a closed off area (gated off or sectioned off) and give her only toys that can't be destroyed like cloth or board books, wood blocks, etc...

The 4 yo who is violent really needs to be addressed. Violent behavior in a 4 yr old who can really hurt someone would be terminated here if it went on for a long period of time. Get on the same page with the parents and let them know it will NOT be tolerated. Take him away from the other kids for the rest of the day with nothing to do but read books or color. Or make him your shadow and make him do choreswith you. My SIL who used to do daycare had a boy like this and she made him carry around a hoola hoop ALL DAY LONG every day for a week. It showed him personal space. He couldn't get close enough to touch anyone b/c he had to hold his hoola hoop. When he sat down, he sat inside the hoola hoop. No one could come inside & he couldn't go on the outside.

[daycare]

I wanna come!!

I would schedule a sit down conference with the family. YOu have to realize that everyone kids and parents are acting this way because you have allowed them to. The only way it is going to stop is to sit down and tell them that it will stop or care will end. Don't be afraid to tell them because if you don't you will be typing these samee issues next week and the week after that and so on and so on.

Wish you luck

[nannyde]

It's VERY risky to take three kids from one family. The only time I ever did that was when it was evening/night shift. I didn't allow that big of sibling groups to take up day slots.

It gives them too much power over your business. In this economy even a sib group of two can be risky.

I would tell the parents that older kids schedule needs to be set in advance and stuck to. No drop in care for him. When they DO schedule him make sure you give them at least one time of not being able to take him. That way they know that YOU decide whether or not you take him.