The Over Bearing Bossy Child

[daycare]

How do you deal with the child that is so over the top bossy? Always tells others what to do and yells at them when they play wrong? in their face and just super bossy. I have the tattle tell thing under control, but now it's this..

I know that by nature that girls are usually very mothering, but this is just down right annoying... The kids don't want to play with her and I am starting to get tired of having to deal with it.

I usually let it play out on its own and let the kids try to deal with their issues, but this is just getting a little old and also sad now that the kids wont play with this child?

she is the oldest at home age 3.5. one sibling and one on the way??

how do you deal with these type of children?

[Hunni Bee]

I've got one, will be four on Thursday. She thinks she's there to manage the other kids....at times, I'll come and pull her off of another kid, and when I ask her what happened, she'll say, "you said it was time to clean up and _____ was still playing" or something. This morning, she trailed behind me a good thirty minutes crying because "everybody thinks I'm dumb and nobody wants to play with me"....nobody had actually said that to her, but sometimes they DONT want to play with her because she's so controlling and bossy, plus she tattles 24/7.

I really dont know what to do with my dcg either. She's got the crying/nobody-likes-me thing going on too, which I have gotten tired of too because it's usually forced/fake crying and she often resists attempts to involve her in play again, and then continues to cry about it. I hate to think she likes the drama, but I've had her since she was 2.5, and she's been like that....

...No real advice for ya because I'm stumped myself...maybe she needs to "learn" how to play cooperatively with other kids...maybe you could join in and model the right way to play...that sometimes works for me.

[daycare]

OMG do we have the same kid? to a "T" this is how this child is.. She has also been here since age 2.0, so she knows how to play nice and etc. I am not sure if its because she wants to be like me and she repeats what I say, or if she is allowed to control things at home.

I don't feel that this is something to write home about just yet, but I am getting to the point that if I don't find a resolution soon, I will have no choice...


maybe someone else will have some advice for us....

[SandeeAR]

At my house, that child would find themselves sitting in a chair on the outer edge of the playroom watching the playing for alot of their day! When she got tired of watching the play, she would get the message that she couldn't tell everyone what to do.

Btw, I raised a bossy child and she was the youngest. I didn't tolerate it out of my own child, I'm sure not going to tolerate it out of someone elses child.

[daycare]

At my house, that child would find themselves sitting in a chair on the outer edge of the playroom watching the playing for alot of their day! When she got tired of watching the play, she would get the message that she couldn't tell everyone what to do.

Btw, I raised a bossy child and she was the youngest. I didn't tolerate it out of my own child, I'm sure not going to tolerate it out of someone elses child.

sandeeAR thanks for the advice. I have tried this,but it happens so often that the child would then have to sit out for the entire day. There has so be another solution to this.

I really don't do time out very much, I do ask the kids to sit out and reflect when they need a break, but this is something that I feel with have to be resolved with more than just removing the child from the situation.

I know what sometimes works for one child does not always work for others.

Did you do anything else besides just time out?

[SandeeAR]

sandeeAR thanks for the advice. I have tried this,but it happens so often that the child would then have to sit out for the entire day. There has so be another solution to this.

I really don't do time out very much, I do ask the kids to sit out and reflect when they need a break, but this is something that I feel with have to be resolved with more than just removing the child from the situation.

I know what sometimes works for one child does not always work for others.

Did you do anything else besides just time out?

My own Bossy child is now 27, I really don't remember specific things I did with her LOL.

I have a 2.5 y/o that went through a 2 week period, about a month or two ago. She was constantly pushing the babies (3 all under a year) down, taking toys from them, just in general being mean. After a couple of days of this, I got TOUGH! She spent ALOT of the day in the corner or on her nap bed. This went on for about 2 weeks. I didn't let up.

She finally turned it around and found out I was NOT going to let her get away with it. In the past 3 weeks, I think she has had 1 time out for taking toys.

[MG&Lsmom]

I have a 2.5 y/o that went through a 2 week period, about a month or two ago. She was constantly pushing the babies (3 all under a year) down, taking toys from them, just in general being mean. After a couple of days of this, I got TOUGH! She spent ALOT of the day in the corner or on her nap bed. This went on for about 2 weeks. I didn't let up.

She finally turned it around and found out I was NOT going to let her get away with it. In the past 3 weeks, I think she has had 1 time out for taking toys.

This sounds alot like the dcg I was going to terminate yesterday. We decided to give her another week because she was improved Mon/Tues.

I was excluding her, putting her in the pnp in the kitchen section of my great room whenever she stepped on little toe out of line. It did not work at all. She actually climbed out of the pnp and smashed her head on the tile floor. I could see it becoming a power struggle issue and I would not let it go there. That's when I gave mom the term talk. Improve or buh bye.

Mom told me she's very motivated by snacks. So I took out my stop light behavior chart. If she stays on green all day until PM snack, she can have 5 Skittles or M&Ms, yellow light is Triscuts or Ritz, red is some sort of veggie which she hates. The green light snack is in addition to what is being served everyone. To not single her out I made everyone a part of it. I have little pictures of the "treat" posted next to each light and their names start on green every morning. If she moves to yellow, she can get back to green, but red is red and stays there. The chart is right where she can see it all the time. A visual cue instead of my voice telling her that she did something not acceptable. It seemed to work after one day where she did not get her Skittles. Mom ok'd the treat, otherwise I do not allow candy unless it's special day.

[daycare]

This sounds alot like the dcg I was going to terminate yesterday. We decided to give her another week because she was improved Mon/Tues.

I was excluding her, putting her in the pnp in the kitchen section of my great room whenever she stepped on little toe out of line. It did not work at all. She actually climbed out of the pnp and smashed her head on the tile floor. I could see it becoming a power struggle issue and I would not let it go there. That's when I gave mom the term talk. Improve or buh bye.

Mom told me she's very motivated by snacks. So I took out my stop light behavior chart. If she stays on green all day until PM snack, she can have 5 Skittles or M&Ms, yellow light is Triscuts or Ritz, red is some sort of veggie which she hates. The green light snack is in addition to what is being served everyone. To not single her out I made everyone a part of it. I have little pictures of the "treat" posted next to each light and their names start on green every morning. If she moves to yellow, she can get back to green, but red is red and stays there. The chart is right where she can see it all the time. A visual cue instead of my voice telling her that she did something not acceptable. It seemed to work after one day where she did not get her Skittles. Mom ok'd the treat, otherwise I do not allow candy unless it's special day.

this sounds interesting, however, I dont do food as reward. I am not knocking you in anyway at all, as it is what you like for you and your program and it works.

I would love to try this but instead of food maybe I will give them a different type of treat. Like first to go out at play time and pick the toy, or get to be the big helper of the day for the rest of the day after lunch.

How did you do the stop light behavior chart? Is it store bought or home made?

[MG&Lsmom]

Normally I wouldn't use food as a reward either. But in talking to mom, this seems to be the one surefire way to get her to understand. Once, or if, she really starts to get better, then I'd replace that motivator with things like you said (being first, choosing our afternoon activity, extra time at something).

My chart is homemade. I have a Cricut and used that to cut out my circles and some heavy stock paper to make the light. I cut out a different shape and color for each child since I have mostly 2s. Firgured they would remember being the purple star or blue triangle rather than just seeing their name. They all have little velcro stickers on them and the opposite side of the velcro is on the poster.

I have seen them in classroom supply catalogs. DD1's kindy teacher used it for her class and it was a pocket for each light, each student had a large tongue depressor for their place on the light.

[nannyde]

How do you deal with the child that is so over the top bossy? Always tells others what to do and yells at them when they play wrong? in their face and just super bossy. I have the tattle tell thing under control, but now it's this..

I know that by nature that girls are usually very mothering, but this is just down right annoying... The kids don't want to play with her and I am starting to get tired of having to deal with it.

I usually let it play out on its own and let the kids try to deal with their issues, but this is just getting a little old and also sad now that the kids wont play with this child?

she is the oldest at home age 3.5. one sibling and one on the way??

how do you deal with these type of children?

They are shunning her because her behavior isn't acceptable.

Can you have her play in a twosome with them and rotate her thru them so they can reconnect? Start with the youngest pairing and work your way up to her closest age mate.

[MG&Lsmom]

Here's some links

http://www.teacherstorehouse.com/product2.asp?product_key=107526&r=1&

http://www.ehow.com/how_5172900_make-kindergarten-behavior-chart.html

[daycare]

They are shunning her because her behavior isn't acceptable.

Can you have her play in a twosome with them and rotate her thru them so they can reconnect? Start with the youngest pairing and work your way up to her closest age mate.

this sounds like a "real" plan. I really want them all to reconnect. How do I stop the bossy behavior from going on again?