"I Love You"

[DaveA]

I wanted to add I've never had a child act this way to me saying "I'm fond of you too", and I've been saying it for at least 15 years in centers and my home daycare. It's surprising/ confusing to me.

[Snowmom]

This is an interesting topic to me and I've always wondered how everyone approaches it.

Yes, we tend to these little egos and they should be nurtured.... but shouldn't they technically be taught how to properly define what they're feeling?
Is 2-5 yrs old too soon to try and distinguish the difference between friendship, love or admiration?

[hwichlaz]

This is an interesting topic to me and I've always wondered how everyone approaches it.

Yes, we tend to these little egos and they should be nurtured.... but shouldn't they technically be taught how to properly define what they're feeling?
Is 2-5 yrs old too soon to try and distinguish the difference between friendship, love or admiration?

I believe children truly do love their caregivers. Of course they know what love is. <3 They know what it is because their parents nurture it. I remember looking at my mother as a little kid, and feeling my chest get full, and just breathing her in and feeling that love. Don't you remember that feeling? I also felt that for one or two of my teachers who particularly cared for me, my grandmother, my aunt etc.

[MomBoss]

I disagree.

I don't love my daycare kids and I don't feel obligated to have to tell them I care about them either.

My DH gets told "I love you" alot by some of the little girls I have but he just says "Thank you!" and doesn't say anything in return about loving them or liking them.

I don't like that kids (or anyone for that matter) feel as if someone has to return the sentiment just because someone said it first. Thank you suffices pretty well.

I am all for supporting children's healthy development and growth but hearing "I love you" from a caregiver isn't something that is necessary.

FWIW~ I am NOT negating your thoughts and feelings on the topic Ariana, I just disagree that kids NEED to hear it from us too. In my opinion, actions speak louder than words and being a consistent, firm and respectful provider is enough of me to give to daycare kids to make them feel cared about.

I completely agree! I feel very awkward saying I love you back. So i say thank you.

[Snowmom]

I believe children truly do love their caregivers. Of course they know what love is. <3 They know what it is because their parents nurture it. I remember looking at my mother as a little kid, and feeling my chest get full, and just breathing her in and feeling that love. Don't you remember that feeling? I also felt that for one or two of my teachers who particularly cared for me, my grandmother, my aunt etc.

Of course kids love their mother & family.

I don't necessarily think they love their daycare provider, their teacher, their friends, their pastor, etc.
I think it's a different definition. I think it's a "like", a "friendship", an "admiration".

I also think that children deserve to learn the different types of affection instead of classifying it all as "love".

[daisymay]

Of course kids love their mother & family.

I don't necessarily think they love their daycare provider, their teacher, their friends, their pastor, etc.
I think it's a different definition. I think it's a "like", a "friendship", an "admiration".

I also think that children deserve to learn the different types of affection instead of classifying it all as "love".

I agree and I also think it is never too young to teach boundaries and that everyone has them. I think waiting to teach this is detrimental and even though kids won’t completely understand the concept the seeds can be planted young.

[Baby Beluga]

Strictly DCG. Like I said- I've said this for as long as I can remember. It's just in the last couple weeks this has bothered her. Up until then she found it funny if she reacted at all. That's what is throwing me. :confused:

Strange.

Is it possible that DCG was with family who said "I love you" to her, she didn't respond and her parents or that family member told her to say it back?

Sort of like, when leaving an event some parents instruct their children to "go hug so and so goodbye"?

Just a thought :confused:

[Unregistered]

Or you can just reply the same way as the character Sam (Patrick Swayze) did in the movie Ghost with "Ditto".

[nannyde]

Don't you do this because you love kids? It doesn't have to be a deep parental love

Heck no.

I don't love ALL KIDS. I do happen to fall in love with my daycare kids over time. I truly love them.

I have had numerous staff assistants who were fantastic who didn't especially like kids. They surely didn't love them. But they were kind, careful, generous, and affectionate with them. I've known many providers who are the same.

Do you think nurses and nurse's aids love all their residents in a nursing home or assisted living?

I prefer staff assistants who don't love kids. They are easier to get on to the Nan plan when training. I prefer staff assistants who want SAFE kids. That's way more important than loving them in our setting.

Dave just say "I know you do. I appreciate that."

[DaveA]

Strange.

Is it possible that DCG was with family who said "I love you" to her, she didn't respond and her parents or that family member told her to say it back?

Sort of like, when leaving an event some parents instruct their children to "go hug so and so goodbye"?

Just a thought :confused:

I know they had some kind of family thing a few weeks ago- DW was talking about driving to it at pickup right before. That's a possibility.

[Sunchimes]

I love my kids, and I don't really have a problem saying that. But, I have one now that says it all the time. Some days, it feels like the only thing we say to each other all day is I love you. I know she loves me, she knows I love her, but I think it has become a habit when she can't think of anything else to say. So, I switch it up. That's so cool. I'm so glad. All right, give me 5. I don't think she needs the confirmation as much as the conversation. It's been working pretty well.

[daycarediva]

Maybe she just feels she needs more affirmation? I would offer more GENUINE compliments throughout the day. “I like how nice you are to Sally.” “You’re working hard on that.” I have a DCG who needs to be told she’s cute 35679x a day. This was the ONLY thing that helped it. She too would say “(DCGname) so cute!” And look CRUSHED when I didn’t say it too. She says it less now. Obviously it’s learned behavior (in my case, both parents say it 50x at pickup and drop off) she still says it, but not as much.

I find the word love so lacking. I love chocolate chip cookies fresh out of the oven, a good book, walking my dogs, fall, my children, my husband.” ALL of that means something different to me. I say it to my DCK’s without feeling like a fraud for that reason.

[Unregistered]

I disagree.

I don't love my daycare kids and I don't feel obligated to have to tell them I care about them either.

My DH gets told "I love you" alot by some of the little girls I have but he just says "Thank you!" and doesn't say anything in return about loving them or liking them.

I don't like that kids (or anyone for that matter) feel as if someone has to return the sentiment just because someone said it first. Thank you suffices pretty well.

I am all for supporting children's healthy development and growth but hearing "I love you" from a caregiver isn't something that is necessary.

FWIW~ I am NOT negating your thoughts and feelings on the topic Ariana, I just disagree that kids NEED to hear it from us too. In my opinion, actions speak louder than words and being a consistent, firm and respectful provider is enough of me to give to daycare kids to make them feel cared about.

You are cold.

[Blackcat31]

You are cold.

If you log in you can search all my posts and make rude comments.

[Meeko]

I have and have had children I feel a lot of affection for. I keep in touch with some of my "kids" who now have kids of their own.

I have kids in care right now who I feel great affection for. I will shed tears when they age out and leave us. I will miss them a lot.

I have kids in care right now who have horrible characters. I will not feel a thing when they leave and one has been here for several years. Real life Angelica's (from Rug Rats). Mean and selfish and manipulative.

So "love" isn't a cover-all for taking care of children. I feel great affection for some. Others are just bodies I take care of...and I don't feel bad about saying so. There is no need to act like Mary Poppins and say I love each and every one of them. I don't.

I enjoy working with kids. Been at it for over 30 years. Some kids will always have a place in my heart. Some kids I will completely forget. Some kids will be in my memories like a bad nightmare

Every single daycare is different. Every single child is different. There is no blanket "love". Relationships evolve. Views change. Go with what feels right at the time.

Do not judge each other as not one of us has the same situation as another.