I Know I Provide A Service But...

[amberrose3dg]

I'm like this except for the kids who's parents try to leave them as long as possible. Part of my job is child advocate. This behavior from parents is damaging to children. I can't bring myself to not care about that.

Same here. Those are the same parents that want to place the blame on the provider when their child starts showing signs of behavioral or other issues.

[Cat Herder]

I'm like this except for the kids who's parents try to leave them as long as possible. Part of my job is child advocate. This behavior from parents is damaging to children. I can't bring myself to not care about that.

I agree with you to a certain point.

The counterpoint is *which is worse for a child, being with a child care provider in a safe and loving environment or being forced upon adults who don't want them there?

[hwichlaz]

I agree with you to a certain point.

The counterpoint is *which is worse for a child, being with a child care provider in a safe and loving environment or being forced upon adults who don't want them there?

While this is true...this overuse of daycare slowly leads to behavior problems that often result in termination of services anyway...

[Cat Herder]

While this is true...this overuse of daycare slowly leads to behavior problems that often result in termination of services anyway...

Occasionally.

I have termed two kids for behavioral issues in 24 years. Neither had to do with long hours.

The rest of my terminations have been due to adult issues.

IME, not all children are planned, some are not wanted (religious pressure, etc) and some parents simply are not capable of spending large amounts of time with young children (anxiety disorders, Bipolar Depression, addiction, etc). Some live in fear of the damage they may cause others are just happy to have made it through the night to get them back to daycare. I provide care for them as well.

It is simply a broad grey issue with many different individual situations. Right now I am blessed to have all great families, but that has not often been the case.

[Blackcat31]

While this is true...this overuse of daycare slowly leads to behavior problems that often result in termination of services anyway...

My experience is the opposite.

Those children that have a less than ideal home life or parents that don't understand the benefits of face time with their child and dump that child in care from open to close are usually the better behaved child for me. They crave the routine, consistency and comfort of an environment that is stable. Their behavior reflects that.

Those parents that spend quality time with their child no matter how little or much time they spend in child care also tend to behave better here in daycare as they are secure in their attachments to caregivers/parents

It's the children that have parents that aren't involved in a quality way (whether it be 5 minutes or 5 hours) with their child that I have issues with.

So for me, the quality not quantity of time spent with parents is the biggest influence over child care behaviors.

[amberrose3dg]

My experience is the opposite.

Those children that have a less than ideal home life or parents that don't understand the benefits of face time with their child and dump that child in care from open to close are usually the better behaved child for me. They crave the routine, consistency and comfort of an environment that is stable. Their behavior reflects that.

Those parents that spend quality time with their child no matter how little or much time they spend in child care also tend to behave better here in daycare as they are secure in their attachments to caregivers/parents

It's the children that have parents that aren't involved in a quality way (whether it be 5 minutes or 5 hours) with their child that I have issues with.

So for me, the quality not quantity of time spent with parents is the biggest influence over child care behaviors.

I have found the children that are dumped from open to close are usually not getting quality or quantity time with their parents. These kids are usually dirty or you can tell they haven't had a bath in a while. I have had some parents even try to drop them off in yesterday's clothes.
I end up knowing more about their children than they do.

[daycarediva]

I'd tell her that her contracted hours will be based on her work schedule, but for now, while she's job hunting, she can leave him from 8-4. That means she can still make job hunting her full-time job, and he won't be plunged into 55 hours per week daycare right away....call it a transition time.

I agree with this, BUT, this DCM WILL change those hours to as many as she thinks you will allow the second she can.

I enrolled an infant years ago at 60 hours a week because mom worked FT and was going to school PT AND had quite the commute. she ended up quitting, but keeping the FT care up and told me she was 'looking for work' and she was actually just insanely training for all of these marathons and doing housework, etc. She did this so that when infant was actually with her, she did NOTHING BUT parent him. She could NOT parent AND do laundry, or parent AND cook dinner. He was a VERY high needs child because of this CONSTANT 1:1 that I ended up terming.

I have a LOT of SAHM's now, always have had them. I limit their hours to 9-3:30. That gives them a good early school experience without sacrificing their parent face time.

[Baby Beluga]

This doesn't bother me so much, until a parent fakes missing their child in front of me.

Example: DCB just shy of 2 years old. Mom is a SAHM. DCB is contracted from 7:15 - 5:00pm M - F. When mom picks up she acts like she missed DCB just so much. And I don't understand it. While I am sure she did miss her child, her actions are saying she doesn't miss him enough to not enroll him full time while she is home. It's just a show for me to try and make herself feel better. Same mom makes jokes about her being the last one to pick up.

Same child: this week older sibling is off for fall break. I closed Monday because this DCB was the only child scheduled. They are supposed to keep DCB home tomorrow, but I haven't heard the final word on that yet. Both dad AND mom are home with older sibling while DCB is here with me.

Tuition is paid on time, etc, etc. But it makes me sad for DCB. Especially because he is old enough to understand what is happening. Especially because he is a great kid.

[Gemma]

...... As long as they pay tuition and stay within my business hours, what they are doing with their time is really none of my business.

This ^^^

[Annalee]

My clients get 9.5 hours a day not to exceed 4:30. In the past, I have allowed some nurse clients that work 12 hours to use the 6:00 to 4:30 but they only are allowed the three days they actually work. I do not waiver on my closing time at all. This is one of the things I do so I wasn't irrated all the time about what clients are doing. I do like daycarediva's hours for SAHM. I don't have any SAHM but I would like to use that when a client is off for the day.

[Ac114]

Thanks guys! I responded to her basically saying that I can do 7-4 or 8-5 while she is looking for work and that 10.5 hrs is an extremely long time for her child to be in care, especially if he’s never attended daycare before. So she wants to ease him into care by doing 7-12 for the first 2 weeks and then 7-4 after that.

[ColorfulSunburst]

I'm like this except for the kids who's parents try to leave them as long as possible. Part of my job is child advocate. This behavior from parents is damaging to children. I can't bring myself to not care about that.

how do you care about that?

[Checkinkids.com]

Good advice

You are not wrong in your feelings. :hug:

I, however, deal with it all the time, from birth on. As long as they pay tuition and stay within my business hours, what they are doing with their time is really none of my business.

I find that by keeping score of it, all I really do is interfere with my own peace.

Sure it can be super frustrating when they are the ONLY kid in care, but it is part of the contract, IMHO. (Last year I had one child here 11 days when both parents were off work and no other child was in care. I completely get what you are saying. )

This is really good advice here. When we had a home daycare and people would pick up kids late, coming in their gym clothes or looking like they just got out of bed, it was really frustrating. Making sure you have policies like reasonable contracted hours is the best way. Worrying about what people are doing while their kid is with you will drive you crazy.

[mommyneedsadayoff]

This mom is not working and wants to leave her fresh 1 year old who’s never been to care before from open to close. 7am-5:30pm. To me, that’s insane. I don’t want to care for her child for 10.5 hrs when she is not working... so what do I reply? Even if she was working I don’t want to care for a child that long. Am I wrong here?

I don't think you're wrong! I'm glad you got it worked out with Mom! I make it very clear to parents that I provide care for Working Families. Almost all of my families have been word of mouth, so it's never been an issue, because they're seeking me out so they can go to work. I don't know where all these families are that can pay for daycare while not working, but they really don't exist in my area. For me, I set my daycare cost based on the parent working. If the parent is not working, they do not get the luxury of my daycare price. They get my babysitter price, which is much higher. Kids are expensive. If you want all the free time you can get away from them, you're going to pay a lot of money to me to get it. So much money, that you will probably not take me up on it anymore.:: I only care for a small amount of kids, so I'm sure with a bigger group it could be harder to manage, so I definitely think it's not a one size fits all type thing. For me, it's never been a problem, because like I said, parents around here are not going to pay $700 a month for daycare if they don't need it. I've actually taken more of a drop-in care approach these days, because I have a second job. I found that it makes me much happier than having kids full time. It is a new market of parents, because I'm dealing with people who work odd hours, but I enjoy the freedom it gives me. With my second job, if I'm tired or just need a day off, I don't accept any children for that day. So far, it's been working pretty well. It's sort of my exit plan. When I'm ready to be totally done, I just won't be taking on any more kids, but I dont feel pressure to make any moves before I'm ready because parents are not relying on me 50 hrs a week. Hope it all works out with this family!