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I will explain this best I can. I currently have a family of dcks that come 3 full days a week. 2 girls, ages are 4 and 2. I also take their 6 yr old big sister before and after school. About 6 weeks ago their mom tells me the 4 yr old will be going to an all day 5 day a week pre school in the fall. Still leaving me with 2 year old which is fine. So, I had a family waiting, wanting to bring their 2 yr old so I have them set to come starting in the fall. Well, this weekend I run into a person that knows current family with 4 yr old well and she tells me that they told her their 4 year old was now going to go to a five day 3 hour a day program, assuming that I will be watching their girl before and after preschool. Family never told me their change in plans and I already commited to a new kiddo. No room for more. What the heck do I do? How do I approach this with the family that is taking me for granted. Why assume that they could just expect me to always accommodate them. So, looking for the words I need to tell this family I took a new kid in and can't watch theirs. Hope this makes sense. Thanks
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I wouldn't do anything. The family hasn't told you anything either so as far as you know there is no issue.
If DCG is going to a 3 hour program, they may have a family friend, neighbor or relative lined up to provide care outside those 3 hours so they family may not be planning to use your services at all.
If they do say anything about needing care, I would simply say I can't accommodate that as I've already filled the space according to what you (family) previously said.
Just because their plans may have changed doesn't mean you are obligated to change yours. -
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Just because another person told you their “plan” does not mean it is true. Like Blackcat said they might be using another way to care for their kid, or maybe the plan has changed since they spoke to that person, or maybe that person is trying to get you angry at them...who knows! As far as you know nothing has changed so just keep it the way it is. IF they do come to you about care just tell them “oh I am sorry but I already filled that spot as I did not know you needed care”. It is their responsibility to arrange care with you and it is not your responsibility to bring up this topic.
Let it go until it becomes a topic and then tell mom the space is filled. If she literally did assume you would provide care without discussing it then she is a moron who does not really deserve accommodations.Comment
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For me, I would just ask them. Maybe it was strictly a misunderstanding and something was lost in the communication. It happens sometimes. I would say to my family, I just want to be clear that I am not having dcg at all in the fall correct? That way you don't have to wonder about it at all. Could be misunderstanding, could be someone else is watching the dcg, could be she's staying at the place where the preschool is? Lots of could be's. I have one that left for part time preschool but there is also a daycare right there, so he just stays there. Why not ask, you still have the other child right, so you will have a working relationship.Comment
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Personally, if my child care provider mentioned she discussed my child with someone else, I'd be ticked.
If OP is the type that needs to know, then I'd make sure to bring the subject up without mentioning who and where you got the info from.
This is an area where I think there is a fine line between professionalism and protecting oneself in regards to business. Tread carefully; only you know your family(s) well enough to know what may or may not happen should you bring up the subject with them.Comment
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I think you can play this two ways.
If you like the family and don't mind doing before/after you can always say "DCM, I am firming up my plans for the Fall, just making sure that things are still has planned with Sally going to ABC and Susie staying here?" No mention of anyone else. If mom says they had a change and need that spot, you can say "Oh! good thing I asked! I had another family ready to take that spot! In the future I would ask me about spots before making those decisions! I almost didn't have a spot for Sally!"
Make it clear that you can/will fill all your spots.
Or you can take on the new family and send out a welcome note to all families. "We have a new friend named Sasha who will be joining us! Please give her a warm welcome." When mom says "but we needed that spot!" you can say with sincerity "I am sorry that you didn't let me know of the change in your plans! I went by what you told me you were doing on x date. I'm sorry but I won't have any spots." Basically be a broken record here. You can lay on the sympathy thick while pointing out you were going by what they said.
You are under no obligation to hold a spot "just in case"Comment
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I did not discuss anything. I was told by a teacher from the pre school that I know and ran into at a store this past Saturday that dcg already is attending at 3 days a week, that her parents want to make transportation arrangements with her to get her to and from my house next fall. Does this clarify any better. Now am I suppose to pretend I did not hear anything and assume as I mentioned in my original post, how dcm told me 6 weeks ago dcg is going to an ALL day different school in the fall. I have a new kid coming. Just wanted to know if I say something or not.Comment
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I personally wouldn't say anything until they do. If they say their plans changed then I would tell so sorry but I filled the opening.Comment
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I understand and I am not saying you did anything wrong at all... I am simply sharing a different viewpoint or perspective.
I'm saying as a parent if my provider said:
"Hey I ran into Miss Smith yesterday and she mentioned that Susie will be in her class this fall and her family is trying to work out transportation to and from your house since preschool classes are only part day verses all day"
As a parent I would be unhappy that any of this was discussed outside of care and without my knowledge.
When the teacher approached me and mentioned this family, I would have said to the teacher: "I'm sorry but I can't discuss that with you. I am sure they will talk to me about it if necessary"
But like I said, only you know your family(s) and whether or not this is an expectation or not. Some providers have very open relationships with clients and some do not.
None of this may be an issue for you at all but covering everything that could happen seems to be the norm on forums where everyone comes from a different perspective/situation.
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Agree with Blackcat and that is how I would handle it. I would not say where I heard IF you decide to bring it up. Personally I would not bring it up. At this point if she does say YES she needs care what are you going to say? Will it change your decision?
I heard two weeks ago that my DCM was pregnant and due in September. She only told me this week. I did not bring it up at all or say I knew. I also knew a mom was going to terminate care months before she did and I did not bring it up. Everyone is different.Comment
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It really depends on if you want to keep this family. If the dcg is going to all day preschool you would still have the other child right? So if her plans did change and she hasn't talked to you about it yet and you take the new child, then would you lose her other child? I wonder if when it was said that she was checking into transportation she wanted to make sure she could do that before talking with you? IDK, I would really just tell her you had another interview and wanted to verify that she didn't need care and then she what she says. I'm really just bringing it out. You don't have to say anything was mentioned to you.
Is it possible at all that something was misunderstood?Comment
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I would not say anything for several reasons.
1-I don't accommodate entitled.
2- You heard this news second hand. Several miscommunications could have happened.
3- Maybe their plans have changed but they set up alternative care other than you, which makes it unnecessary for you to know said changes.
4- You already have a replacement setup.
If you do decide to bring it up, you should first decide how you are going to respond if they do in fact expect you to continue watching dcg.Comment
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