Termed Family, What Should I Expect

[Josiegirl]

So to update on this situation, I went to the Sheriffs office and spoke to the commissioner who informed me that there is no preventative measures that I can take other than to just keep an eye out. They said regardless of the fact that the father sent the kids out and came in closing the door(I feel he was trying to intimidate or scare me) doesn’t mean he had intentions on doing something. I can not get a protective order or peace order unless a threat to hurt or damage me or my property was made or an act of violence was committed. They said when or if something does happen and I contact them I have to have some proof that it was them. My plan is to get cameras. I feel that it’s unfair that people can not protect themselves in situations like this before something happens, seems backwards to me. They would not make a report and were unconcerned about the family history of violence and kept saying nothing can be done until something happens.

Sad but that's the way it is. Nothing can be done until something happens.
Cameras are the best idea then. At least you'll have proof. Good Luck!!

[Blackcat31]

So to update on this situation, I went to the Sheriffs office and spoke to the commissioner who informed me that there is no preventative measures that I can take other than to just keep an eye out. They said regardless of the fact that the father sent the kids out and came in closing the door(I feel he was trying to intimidate or scare me) doesn’t mean he had intentions on doing something. I can not get a protective order or peace order unless a threat to hurt or damage me or my property was made or an act of violence was committed. They said when or if something does happen and I contact them I have to have some proof that it was them. My plan is to get cameras. I feel that it’s unfair that people can not protect themselves in situations like this before something happens, seems backwards to me. They would not make a report and were unconcerned about the family history of violence and kept saying nothing can be done until something happens.

Bull ****ey! That is such BS!

There are laws to protect you if you feel unsafe and it isn't AFTER someone provides proof... I think the sheriff is feeling you a line of bs.

You have CHILDREN in your home.
Children that you are obligated to protect.
If you feel unsafe due to a father's actions in YOUR HOME you DO have a right to be protected. At the VERY least the sheriff should have offered to contact the father and tell him he is not to have any further contact with you or your daycare. This includes the property.

The parents can pick up the special needs child AT school so that the busing situation can get worked out.

I would call the bus garage and tell them the bus NO LONGER has permission to drop off the above child on your property and if they do, you will report an abandoned child...I'd call and tell them verbally and I would send an e-mail to them so that you have proof that you requested this bus drop not happen.

This father knows how to play the system and in my opinion was trying to intimidate you. That is NOT okay.
You do NOT need proof of that. How do you prove you were fearful...

If you have an attorney you can contact, I would do so. If you do not, I'd find one or call legal aide in your community and talk to them.

Parents do NOT have a right to threaten or intimidate a provider in their own homes and the police department should be ashamed of themselves for telling you to get proof before taking your claim of fear seriously.

I am appalled by that. :confused:

Call licensing, the bus garage and an attorney.
You have a right to be safe in your home and not have to fear past clients.

:hug:

[MomBoss]

Bull ****ey! That is such BS!

There are laws to protect you if you feel unsafe and it isn't AFTER someone provides proof... I think the sheriff is feeling you a line of bs.

You have CHILDREN in your home.
Children that you are obligated to protect.
If you feel unsafe due to a father's actions in YOUR HOME you DO have a right to be protected. At the VERY least the sheriff should have offered to contact the father and tell him he is not to have any further contact with you or your daycare. This includes the property.

The parents can pick up the special needs child AT school so that the busing situation can get worked out.

I would call the bus garage and tell them the bus NO LONGER has permission to drop off the above child on your property and if they do, you will report an abandoned child...I'd call and tell them verbally and I would send an e-mail to them so that you have proof that you requested this bus drop not happen.

This father knows how to play the system and in my opinion was trying to intimidate you. That is NOT okay.
You do NOT need proof of that. How do you prove you were fearful...

If you have an attorney you can contact, I would do so. If you do not, I'd find one or call legal aide in your community and talk to them.

Parents do NOT have a right to threaten or intimidate a provider in their own homes and the police department should be ashamed of themselves for telling you to get proof before taking your claim of fear seriously.

I am appalled by that. :confused:

Call licensing, the bus garage and an attorney.
You have a right to be safe in your home and not have to fear past clients.

:hug:

Unfortunately it is true, you need proof your life is in danger. Proof you have something to be afriad of. Ive tried getting a restraining order, but they wouldnt grant me one because I needed proof it happened and proof it wont stop. Without proof, anybody could get a restraining order "just because" or petty reasons that waste the laws time and it wouldnt be right for the other person to have it on their record if the crime never happened, but because someone just said so without proof, its now on their record.
That is why I suggested a camera. Ive been down this road.

[Blackcat31]

Unfortunately it is true, you need proof your life is in danger. Proof you have something to be afriad of. Ive tried getting a restraining order, but they wouldnt grant me one because I needed proof it happened and proof it wont stop. Without proof, anybody could get a restraining order "just because" or petty reasons that waste the laws time and it wouldnt be right for the other person to have it on their record if the crime never happened, but because someone just said so without proof, its now on their record.
That is why I suggested a camera. Ive been down this road.

I am speaking from experience as well.

I had a VERY similar situation happen years ago in my care and I was never told such a thing by our local law enforcement.

As a matter of fact, once I reiterated I was a child care provider and the incident happened in my child care house during a drop off, the police department started sending an officer to my neighborhood to do a drive by when they knew the parent I had issues with was getting off work.

They also contacted the parent and told they were to have NO contact with me, my business, my family and any and ALL daycare clients currently enrolled.

I filed a temporary order for harassment and was granted the request. I wasn't required to prove anything other than the parent created a hostile and fearful environment.

After the THO expired, I was granted a regular OFP that was valid for 2 yrs. Other than describing the incident itself, I had no proof. No adult witnesses, no cameras, nothing but my word against the parent's.

I think in these types of cases the judge makes the call based on whatever info he/she knows.

I don't understand what type of proof a person could use to demonstrate or prove fear. :confused:

[Blackcat31]

Unfortunately it is true, you need proof your life is in danger. Proof you have something to be afriad of. Ive tried getting a restraining order, but they wouldnt grant me one because I needed proof it happened and proof it wont stop. Without proof, anybody could get a restraining order "just because" or petty reasons that waste the laws time and it wouldnt be right for the other person to have it on their record if the crime never happened, but because someone just said so without proof, its now on their record.
That is why I suggested a camera. Ive been down this road.

Also in almost all cases a temp order (7-10 days) is issued and then the respondent has the right and the option of going to court and stating their side (why they shouldn't have an order placed against them).

If they convince the judge they aren't threatening or harassing, the judge will deny the permanent order.

Temp harassment orders do not appear on anyone's record.
They are just a temporary stop order so that all parties have the opportunity to prove their sides in court.

A judge might be able to "see" how many times someone has/had a temp order issued against them but it isn't something anyone has knowledge of.

[MomBoss]

Also in almost all cases a temp order (7-10 days) is issued and then the respondent has the right and the option of going to court and stating their side (why they shouldn't have an order placed against them).

If they convince the judge they aren't threatening or harassing, the judge will deny the permanent order.

Temp harassment orders do not appear on anyone's record.
They are just a temporary stop order so that all parties have the opportunity to prove their sides in court.

A judge might be able to "see" how many times someone has/had a temp order issued against them but it isn't something anyone has knowledge of.

I think it all depends on where you live and the judge you get. I even had video evidence. I was attacked in front of a camera at a store, told police to look at it, and since i defended myself, they called it a mutual "frey" and charges wouldnt be pressed against anyone. I couldnt believe it! I was told I need ongoing proof of harrassment, so ive been keeping text messages. After my experience I have little faith in the system so im not sure if im going to try getting a restraining order again and wasting my money.

[Blackcat31]

I think it all depends on where you live and the judge you get. I even had video evidence. I was attacked in front of a camera at a store, told police to look at it, and since i defended myself, they called it a mutual "frey" and charges wouldnt be pressed against anyone. I couldnt believe it! I was told I need ongoing proof of harrassment, so ive been keeping text messages. After my experience I have little faith in the system so im not sure if im going to try getting a restraining order again and wasting my money.

You still have a right to file a temp order and ONLY a judge can say yes/no to whether or not it's granted beyond temp status. The police didn't need to see the video....the judge did (as it's your proof).

But the police can give you all the opinions they want, especially in regards to who is charged with what criminally, but they have nothing to do with whether or not you can or can't get an OFP.

My DH was physically assaulted by two young men a year ago. He defended himself and the police told him pretty much exactly what you stated above....both parties are/could be guilty. Depends on what the judge says.

Our attorney still advised my DH to file for an OFP.
He was granted an immediate but temp OFP upon filing for it. Ten days later the respondents 'no-showed' for the hearing and it was granted (for 2 yrs) but the rest of the case is still pending.

If you are still fearful of the person that assaulted you and the harassment still happens, you DO have a right to file for an OFP and it would be up to the judge (not the police) as to whether or not it would be granted.

Also, just because the police didn't press charges against the person didn't mean you couldn't have. ANYONE has that right. It's during the hearing that it is decided who was at fault etc... but the police can't deny you your right to press charges even if they decide not to. It simply becomes a civil matter rather than a criminal matter.

[mommyneedsadayoff]

Your contract is with mom and the kids left your house, which means he was trespassing on your property. With his threatening verbiage and history of violence, I would think a restraining order would be easy. I would personally get one against both, as I'm sure when you entered the agreement with mom, you did not know dad's history. They both sound like peaches be safe! Hope it all works out!