Throwing Fit At Drop Off

[Unregistered]

How to handle a 4 year old being dropped off screaming and throwing a fit? Make the parent take the child outside and not allow in until calm? It
Doesn't happen often but what should I do if it happens again?

[Leigh]

How to handle a 4 year old being dropped off screaming and throwing a fit? Make the parent take the child outside and not allow in until calm? It
Doesn't happen often but what should I do if it happens again?

That's exactly what you should do. "Mrs. X, please take Screamy back out until he calms down and bring him back when he is ready. Thank you."

If the fit is something you'd rather deal with yourself, then as the parent to leave immediately so that the fit will stop (and 99% of the time, it's over before the parent is out of the drive).

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

When a child begins having fitful drop offs I tell the parent they need to sign them in, give a kiss, and leave immediately. It should take less than 30 seconds. I talk to them about the lingering increasing anxiety but the quick drop offs helping their child settle in easier during the initial transition. I send a photo of their child once they're calmed down. They begin to see that it takes less and less time for their child to calm down and eventually it turns off like a switch as soon as the door closes. ::

[Cat Herder]

Is this a new enrollment/transition? Is there a known cause? Getting to the core of the issue would direct the solution.

[ColorfulSunburst]

I smile to parents and say "run!" and they do.
I do not know any other way to fix this problem.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I smile to parents and say "run!" and they do.
I do not know any other way to fix this problem.

This is hilarious! I must give it a go. ::

[laundrymom]

I smile to parents and say "run!" and they do.
I do not know any other way to fix this problem.

This!!!!
And then place screamer in a spot that's safe and let them be. Stop giving "the barking dog a cookie!"

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

This!!!!
And then place screamer in a spot that's safe and let them be. Stop giving "the barking dog a cookie!"

Ah yes. I do this. I gently take them by the hand to the crying spot and let them do their thing, if needed. No attention for a drop off fit. However, those that are KIND to their mamas and daddies at drop off (no crying and no whining are the rules) get a sticker for their sticker books. WOOHOO!

[nannyde]

https://www.daycare.com/nannyde/the-dynamic-of-bad-behavior-in-daycare.htm

Time for the buh bye outside program

[Ariana]

I have gotten this a few times with kids in the past few months. I write a text to mom and dad and let them know that they are not to draw any attention to it. Say goodbye and leave immediately and quickly. I have had to kick parents out when they go back for a second hug. I also tell them that if the whining or crying starts at home before coming they are to ignore it completely. Stating simply "its ok to feel sad but we are going to daycare" and say it once. It works in two weeks in my experience. The kid I just had to do this for was doing great because mom was listening, then this week routine got thrown off and he is back to crying....mom shows up with 4 stuffies and a new special blanket for nap time. Yeah basically back to giving him extra attention, negotiating and giving into demands so back to square one.

[daycare]

i THINK for me it depends. IF the parent caused the fit, I send them back out. example parent is arguing with the child over something silly like didn't wear the clothing they wanted to something like this, or got into trouble with parent and the child is upset crying, back out you go.

Now if they are not crying when coming in and then starts, the parent need to go quickly now.

[Leigh]

i THINK for me it depends. IF the parent caused the fit, I send them back out. example parent is arguing with the child over something silly like didn't wear the clothing they wanted to something like this, or got into trouble with parent and the child is upset crying, back out you go.

Now if they are not crying when coming in and then starts, the parent need to go quickly now.

Exactly this. A majority that I have seen are parent caused (certainly not all). I am SO proud of a current parent who has FINALLY started putting her child in her place. This 3 year old is convinced that I have a secret stash of candy somewhere that I am hiding from her and had a meltdown the other day when her mom showed up because she was SO HUNGRY. I told her in front of her mom that she threw her breakfast and lunch in the garbage and that is why she was hungry. She screamed that she wanted fruit snacks. I told her no, but that there were lots of strawberries left from snack and offered her some and she escalated 10x. Her mom picked her up and told her that Miss Leigh made her food and she didn't eat it so she would wait for supper. I couldn't have been more proud-Mom used to cave in to every meltdown and has finally started to stand up to her daughter's tantrums.

[bklsmum]

I have a couple like this and I had to put my foot down with the parents because it seemed like the parents almost...enjoyed it...maybe not enjoyed but it fed their ego that their kid didn't want to be away from them. One DCM listened to my requirement that she leave quickly and one tried to put her foot down with me and got termed.

[trix23]

What did you say to the one you termed for that? And was it immediate?

[bklsmum]

What did you say to the one you termed for that? And was it immediate?

I gave a two week notice that included a provision for immediate term if there was any further disrespect or refusal to follow policies.