Daycare Baby Cries All Day

[flying_babyb]

She cries if you put her down, cries if she cant be touching you at all times, cries if you put her in the stroller, cries if you sit her in the table for dinner.
Shes 9 months and been with us two weeks. I feel some of her problem is she dosen't nap! She refuses to sleep or rest at daycare. This is a real problem at bedtime. Ive sat and rocked her,put her in the swing, the bouncy. She just screams. When she gets to that too tired state she screams and keeps the big kids awake (we have only a half door). Im worried cause once they turn 11 months, they start sleeping in there crib in the big kid room, start visiting and hanging out there too (im referring to a 1-3 room). The teacher in there has 6 kids each day and will not cuddle her constantly. Ideas to make her more independent?

[Leigh]

She cries if you put her down, cries if she cant be touching you at all times, cries if you put her in the stroller, cries if you sit her in the table for dinner.
Shes 9 months and been with us two weeks. I feel some of her problem is she dosen't nap! She refuses to sleep or rest at daycare. This is a real problem at bedtime. Ive sat and rocked her,put her in the swing, the bouncy. She just screams. When she gets to that too tired state she screams and keeps the big kids awake (we have only a half door). Im worried cause once they turn 11 months, they start sleeping in there crib in the big kid room, start visiting and hanging out there too (im referring to a 1-3 room). The teacher in there has 6 kids each day and will not cuddle her constantly. Ideas to make her more independent?

I truly think that 9 months is the very worst time to start daycare. This is the age that I struggle with the most. I have started several children at this age, and all of them were exactly the same way. One, I had to term-she literally screamed all day long. She didn't eat, she didn't sleep-she screamed. I would try so hard to feed her something, and she'd slap at me and keep screaming (bottle or spoon, she wasn't having it). The others, I kept with me. They eventually adjusted, things eventually got better, but it took months with every one of them. Some would cry if they weren't held, some would cry at nap, some would cry all day. All I can suggest is trying to teach the baby that being on the floor is safe and fun (and insist that parents do the same-no more carrying her around all day and sitting in a chair with her, but instead holding her on the floor, playing with her and reading to her on the floor, changing and feeding her on the floor-everything on the floor!). Best of luck to you-I know exactly what you're going through (I'm sure that most of us here do!).

[trix23]

Here's what I would do. You need to have a process in place so that at daycare AND at home that she's being allowed independence. I've worked on this with both my sons, but especially with our 8-month old baby because I'm a daycare provider (started when he was 2 months old).

The baby needs to understand that you cannot hold her all day long. The best methods I've found is to give the baby something to play with while you're in sight.

So if you're prepping lunch in the kitchen, have her hanging out in a high chair with some toys on the tray. That way she can see you and be busy, herself. Whenever you leave the room, let her know what you're doing. "I'm going to go change a diaper. I'll be right back!" and then when you come back say, "See? I'm back!" and on with the day. It can be exhausting, but it helps.

Also, don't just pick her up right away if she cries. Talk with her a bit, rub her back or comment on what happened if she got a minor boo-boo, "Oh! You fell down! You went BOOM!" and see how she feels about it. Try not to make a big fuss over it and she will follow suit.

Have the parents work on independent play at home too. I'm one of few parents with babies that show them how to play and be independent from a young age because I have too much to do in a day to be cuddling babies all day. The first 6-8 weeks are for all the cuddles and loving and etc and then after that it's less and less until they know I'm there for them but that they aren't going to be at my hip all day.

Kids develop confidence, their own interests, an imagination, etc from having independent play, even as babies. :]

[flying_babyb]

On the same note:
this child has 4 siblings (4, 6,8) who are often in the main room next to our infant room. They will tell mom baby was crying alot. If I try telling mom why she kinda nods but I dont think she believes me. Our director tells me, Make it work

[Pestle]

You don't need to defend yourself to the director or to the mom. As long as you're following policy re: feedings, diaper changings, and anything else that would normally de-escalate a crying baby, it should be self-evident that the problem is with the baby, not with you. So don't apologize or make excuses or be concerned that the siblings are tattling that she's crying. The mom needs to know that she's crying and needs to know that this is expected behavior for a 9mo in care for the first time.

In the last year, I've had two start at 9mos and one at 11mos. All the other kids have been older or younger, and only those three have had issues with adjustment (not to say there weren't any other bumps in the road, but adjustment wasn't the problem). One of the 9mo babies literally screamed continuously for a week and a half straight--I finally called for pick up in the middle of the day and said we couldn't have her back. The other kids were stressed to the max. I'd been letting the parents know each day, but they were in a bind because their regular care provider had had a medical emergency.

The other 9mo took three months to adjust. Three. Months. And the 11mo took just three weeks of part time to adjust (although she has a lung capacity beyond anything I've experienced so far )

Follow policy, tell parents simply "Emma had another rough day; she hasn't settled in and is sad," and give it a few more weeks. Since you don't have the ability to term, you need to figure out a way to maintain your sanity and keep the other kids from stressing over the screaming. Don't worry about what the parents think.

[flying_babyb]

well, on saturday we had a pretty great day. Ok she spent most of it in the swing or stroller or bumbo but we had way less tears.