Obnoxious/Everything Is Funny

[Hunni Bee]

So my newest kiddo is what I would call an entertainer. Hes the youngest in his family, he really is cute, and he's been in the care of grandma/grandpa/auntie while mom was looking for childcare.

He's got some behaviors that don't mean well with the group, however. Everything has to be funny and a joke to him. He does wrong choices like open doors without permission, going into other people's cubbies, and he smiles at you like you're supposed to be laughing. He does things that are annoying - making noises in the kids faces, playfully knocking down their block buildings, etc...And continues with a little smile as they insist he stop or try to move away.

At lunch today, he was chewing with his mouth wide open and making OM NOM NOM noises. Every time I'd ask him to stop/chew quietly he'd go "What am I doing? OM NOM. What noises? NOM NOM SMACK." He didn't stop until I warned that he was about to lose his plate.

He gets a lot of privileges taken away because he doesn't stop after I give him a couple redirections and chances to fix it. I wanna nip this - any advice?

[daycarediva]

following! I have his twin! He ran into the street (head turned back, laughing at Dad-yelling for him to stop) at drop off this morning!

[Indoorvoice]

I wouldn't give him any chances. He knows he's being obnoxious and doing it anyway. I would lay out the expectations when he arrives and whenever he strays he loses a privilege without warning. BC's structure of having big kid and little kid activities works well in my home. The big kids get to do awesome fun elaborate activities and have the best toys and little kid activities aren't as fun. When he acts out he's being a little kid. How sad for him!

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I wouldn't give him any chances. He knows he's being obnoxious and doing it anyway. I would lay out the expectations when he arrives and whenever he strays he loses a privilege without warning. BC's structure of having big kid and little kid activities works well in my home. The big kids get to do awesome fun elaborate activities and have the best toys and little kid activities aren't as fun. When he acts out he's being a little kid. How sad for him!

That's a great idea. You can help him to learn socially appropriate behavior because it's likely that his family DOES find it hysterical and adorable.

[daycare]

what are the school rules?

example mine are
respectful
friendly
responsible


Joey, can you show me how you can eat in a friendly and respectful manor like your friends kattie and susie? Be sure to give kattie and susie a high-five for being respectful and friendly at the lunch tables.

I look at it like this:

what is the possible motive?
location of occurance?
what is going on at the time?
who was involved?
what happened after?
what did others do?

It's obvious that he is trying to express emotion here and initiate some kind of social interaction, maybe even gain a connection with another person??

Is it possible he might be trying to avoid a task, attention, peers or such?

where is he doing this? everywhere it sounds like

When is he doing it? arival, meals, centers, etc.

Who is involved when he is doing it? Is it a certain teacher or child? peers/classmates??

What happened after? what did others do?
was he moved from the activity?
peers move away?
removed from class?
redirected?
ignore the behavior?

I usually go through these questions any time I see behaviors that are unwanted. Once I gather this information, I am able to see when and why it is happening, along with other aspects then come up with a plan of action to curb the behaviors. this way everyone working with the child is on the same page.

[Blackcat31]

I wouldn't give him any chances. He knows he's being obnoxious and doing it anyway. I would lay out the expectations when he arrives and whenever he strays he loses a privilege without warning. BC's structure of having big kid and little kid activities works well in my home. The big kids get to do awesome fun elaborate activities and have the best toys and little kid activities aren't as fun. When he acts out he's being a little kid. How sad for him!

It's life. You get certain things when you either put the time and effort into earning them or proving you are mature enough.

If not, you are only allowed to do what you have shown e you are mature enough to do.

@Hunni Bee....I agree with Indoorvoice...he KNOWS. The consequences just aren't strong enough yet to motivate him to stop.

[daycare]

It's life. You get certain things when you either put the time and effort into earning them or proving you are mature enough.

If not, you are only allowed to do what you have shown e you are mature enough to do.

@Hunni Bee....I agree with Indoorvoice...he KNOWS. The consequences just aren't strong enough yet to motivate him to stop.

what I see thought is that he acts and the adult reacts. it then becomes an ongoing game of the kid acts and the adult reacts.

maybe instead, teach him what to do, teach him how it makes you feel when he does it and so on.

if a child is just always given a consequence, how do they ever learn the expectation.

if a child can't read, we teach
if a child can't ride a bike we teach
if a child can't behave, we................. TEACH.....

[Indoorvoice]

what I see thought is that he acts and the adult reacts. it then becomes an ongoing game of the kid acts and the adult reacts.

maybe instead, teach him what to do, teach him how it makes you feel when he does it and so on.

if a child is just always given a consequence, how do they ever learn the expectation.

if a child can't read, we teach
if a child can't ride a bike we teach
if a child can't behave, we................. TEACH.....

Idk, I see it differently. I think the child is acting and the adult is not reacting quick enough and therefore he is not quite understanding the boundaries or expectations. In his head he is thinking, "ah, when I do this annoying thing, I get attention. I know this is wrong but I like the attention so I'm going to keep testing to see how far I can go." He's begging for clearer boundaries. We teach by having clear expectations in the beginning and having clear and concise consequences. The lesson here is you can act how you want. Mature behavior =fun activities. Immature behavior =less fun.

[daycare]

Idk, I see it differently. I think the child is acting and the adult is not reacting quick enough and therefore he is not quite understanding the boundaries or expectations. In his head he is thinking, "ah, when I do this annoying thing, I get attention. I know this is wrong but I like the attention so I'm going to keep testing to see how far I can go." He's begging for clearer boundaries. We teach by having clear expectations in the beginning and having clear and concise consequences. The lesson here is you can act how you want. Mature behavior =fun activities. Immature behavior =less fun.

I still don't see how that teaches...

This child has learned that at home he gets attention that way, but he's not at home he's at school/daycare. He needs to be taught what is expected. IF after he is not able to LISTEN respectfully and follow through, then that is where I would see the necessity for a consequence.

[Blackcat31]

"he's been in the care of grandma/grandpa/auntie while mom was looking for childcare."

"and he smiles at you like you're suppose to be laughing"

He knows.
If he didn't already know what's expected he wouldn't think everything was so funny.
He needs boundaries not attention

[daycare]

"he's been in the care of grandma/grandpa/auntie while mom was looking for childcare."

"and he smiles at you like you're suppose to be laughing"

He knows.
If he didn't already know what's expected he wouldn't think everything was so funny.
He needs boundaries not attention

I guess what I am missing is then how do you teach him boundaries?
"he's been in the care of grandma/grandpa/auntie while mom was looking for childcare."

"and he smiles at you like you're suppose to be laughing"

This is also a very objective point of view.

[Indoorvoice]

I still don't see how that teaches...

This child has learned that at home he gets attention that way, but he's not at home he's at school/daycare. He needs to be taught what is expected. IF after he is not able to LISTEN respectfully and follow through, then that is where I would see the necessity for a consequence.

I think you might just be misunderstanding me. I said to teach him expectations at the beginning of the day. "Johnny, today I expect you to.... you will earn big kid activities if you do xyz" If he doesn't do xyz he LEARNS that not doing that results in loss of big kid activities. I don't see how that isn't teaching?

[daycare]

I think you might just be misunderstanding me. I said to teach him expectations at the beginning of the day. "Johnny, today I expect you to.... you will earn big kid activities if you do xyz" If he doesn't do xyz he LEARNS that not doing that results in loss of big kid activities. I don't see how that isn't teaching?

Lol because I missed your post and I guess I need to go back and reread. All I saw was if he acts out give instant consequences

[Laurie]

Unfortunately this behavior is very normal when they've been home for 2yrs or more with a family member. Most often there's no structure or rules like we have in our home daycares.
Keep doing what you're doing.. He will figure it out at some point. Let's hope it happens before you go bonkers!!

[Josiegirl]

I have a 3 1/2 yo dcg who does the same thing!! She thrives on the attention she's getting from me and her peers.
I take away privileges and give consequences but it's so difficult. She spent the first 3 yrs. of her life being primed(my opinion) because she's so darn cute and everybody knows kids are cute when they're little and being obnoxious. Even to the point of being video-taped and put on FB.:confused:
Then at 3 parent admits child is spoiled but now has a baby sister in the picture. Can't change 'em overnight.