New Provider - Parent Interactions

[newbaby90908]

Hello Everyone,

I am a newly licensed home daycare (looking to expand to center eventually) and my question is about parent personality types and your interactions.

For instance, I had one mom recently bring to my attention that her kid scratched their eyelid when they were last in attendance, which was 48 hrs prior. Now, the scratch appeared to be fresh, not 48 hours old and this child is very vocal - so I am sure she would have mentioned if she hurt herself. Last, I provide a progress report to the parents each day that summarizes their child's day, etc.

I would also have noticed a scratch on a child's eyelid because specifically, this child had a lot of bathroom trips which required me to pay special attention to her throughout the day. Additionally, her mom upon picking her up had to also make a bathroom trip to a very well lite restroom.

Soooo, my issue is that it rubbed me the wrong way because the parent upon dropping off her child, stated that we pay more attention to the child while paying to ensure that she isn't injuring herself while playing.

I assured her that her child is very well cared for and I was not aware of any such issue and would have surely notified her if I was aware of it. Long story short, I completed an incident report and placed it in there family file, but I am wondering how you guys deal with such things and do you find parents are unrealistic with their children getting minor bumps and bruises?

Maybe because I am new I am hypersensitive over what parents think.

[Blackcat31]

Hello Everyone,

I am a newly licensed home daycare (looking to expand to center eventually) and my question is about parent personality types and your interactions.

For instance, I had one mom recently bring to my attention that her kid scratched their eyelid when they were last in attendance, which was 48 hrs prior. Now, the scratch appeared to be fresh, not 48 hours old and this child is very vocal - so I am sure she would have mentioned if she hurt herself. Last, I provide a progress report to the parents each day that summarizes their child's day, etc.

I would also have noticed a scratch on a child's eyelid because specifically, this child had a lot of bathroom trips which required me to pay special attention to her throughout the day. Additionally, her mom upon picking her up had to also make a bathroom trip to a very well lite restroom.

Soooo, my issue is that it rubbed me the wrong way because the parent upon dropping off her child, stated that we pay more attention to the child while paying to ensure that she isn't injuring herself while playing.

I assured her that her child is very well cared for and I was not aware of any such issue and would have surely notified her if I was aware of it. Long story short, I completed an incident report and placed it in there family file, but I am wondering how you guys deal with such things and do you find parents are unrealistic with their children getting minor bumps and bruises?

Maybe because I am new I am hypersensitive over what parents think.

I'm sorry you are having this issue...

Personally, I think trust between parent and provider is the foundation of a positive relationship. Once that trust is broken the relationship no longer functions properly. It's hard to come back from that.

I have zero issues with a parent sharing their concerns and encourage them to always feel comfortable to do so but when their concerns are accusatory verses open/honest communication, I'm done.

I used to stress about this type of thing but now I simply accept it as truth.

[nannyde]

https://www.amazon.com/Daycare-Whisperer-Doing-would-parents-ebook/dp/B00N6H3LLE/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1409829119&sr=8-1&keywords=doing+daycare

I wrote this book on parental archetypes. Your parent sounds like a hybrid of "my child" and "parental attention seeking syndrome".

If you plan to continue and even start a center where you will have more parents with more personality and behavioral issues, the book may come in handy.

I would have told her that this didn't happen at my house. I would have said it looks fresh and you would have noticed it. I would have also asked when she took her to the Doctor for it and what was the diagnosis. If it's big enough to mention as a safety issue, it requires medical attention. Otherwise nut up and realize your snowflake is going to get a scratch, bump, or bruise.

I would also tell her that she needs to keep the child's fingernails clipped and filed from now on and that from this day forward you are going to do a full head to toe body check on her at arrival and departure. Do the checks with mom present. That way the mom can confirm when she leaves in the pm that the child hasn't any marks since she left.

What you will find is the child will have bumps and bruises from home at drop off. Make a HUGE deal about them.

"What is this bruise? When did she get it? How did she get it? Did you take her to the Doctor? Did that hurt really bad little Pookie? Oh mommy that looks like it really hurt. How long did she cry for?"

Two can play that game. Wear her out with it.

[daycarediva]

I'm sorry you are having this issue...

Personally, I think trust between parent and provider is the foundation of a positive relationship. Once that trust is broken the relationship no longer functions properly. It's hard to come back from that.

I have zero issues with a parent sharing their concerns and encourage them to always feel comfortable to do so but when their concerns are accusatory verses open/honest communication, I'm done.

I used to stress about this type of thing but now I simply accept it as truth.

Yes.

Start documenting, documenting, documenting. Full body checks at drop off, photos and a paper/communication trail to the parent. They will either cut it out or pull their child. If they cut it out, they realize that they are being ridiculous, and if they pull- they never trusted you so good riddance.

I would have also said flat out "NO, that injury did not happen here. Did you see it on X day when you took her to the restroom at pick up?" The fact that she didn't notify you until the following drop off days later tells me she is full of bologna.

If she persists, I would call her out. "Dcm, do you trust me to care for your child or not?" I'm pretty straight forward.

[newbaby90908]

OMGoodness thank you thank you

I will definitely read your book and I did tell the parent, not this didn't happen here, but I love the advice.

Gave me some really good thoughts and techniques on how to handle this stuff moving forward.

Thanks so much,