Feeling Judged By Daycare Director

[CollegeWorker]

Hello all, I hope you are having a wonderful December so far! I am currently working at a daycare where I usually have anywhere from 3-6 kids, depending on the time and day. It's not a very structured daycare, a lot of the time I'm basically on my own unless I explicitly ask or need something from the director, although the daycare is set up inside a home (bottom floor is daycare, upper floor is house) and she does have a baby monitor that she occasionally remembers to turn on. I haven't worked there very long, but sometimes I feel a bit judged and get the feeling that the director would have handled things differently, though she doesn't give me any feedback or comment much. I also haven't gotten much help on how to handle it if dck don't listen, which has happened before. I want to hear you opinions on it since I'm assuming most of you are daycare directors.

Yesterday, for example, I had the kids all bundled up and outside. While I was refilling some bird feeders, I noticed one dcb (one who generally has behavioral issues) throw a snowball in the face of another dcb, which he knows is against the rules because I had them recite them before we went out. Anyways, I calmed the boy down and sent him to go get a tissue inside because he had massive snot coming out of his nose as a distraction. Director happened to be inside and asked, so I told her what happened. She just remarked, "oh, that isn't supposed to happen." which I realize, and would ahve loved to prevent before. Unfortunately, it only takes a second to form a snowball and throw it ::and also, they're in preschool. I expect a certain degree of mischievousness as long as it doesn't have a malicious intent. Another time I forgot to tell a girl to clean up the doll house because it evolved from that into another interactive game with the snowball-throwing dcb which I wanted to encourage since normally they don't play together. She commented again when she came downstairs.

I'm not sure if I should just ignore these, or ask if its becoming an issue and if she has any tips for me? We have a very good relationship (I think) and I don't mind her telling me I'm doing something that she doesn't approve of, or telling me how to prevent any snowball incidents before they happen::. Her tone though makes me think there's something that she wants to tell me or that I'm not meeting expectations. To make it worse, I've been having problems with one dcb not listening ad unfortunately I think it might be affecting how he acts around them too (or vise versa?). Should I just ask next time or am I being irrationally sensitive right now?

[TXhomedaycare]

Just ask her. Hey miss director I am getting the feeling from you that you might have handled that differently or I would love your feedback in this situation. I am surprised how many people are in a management role who don't know how to manage. Ask for feedback or run things past her and get her opinion and I am sure that will create an atmosphere where you both can work together. I have been a manager of a call center for years and I also have been a admin. assistant and unless your boss tells you, you are doing good or bad the average person assumes they are doing OK or bad and it is hard to work with need feedback because you question everything.

[Play Care]

This is actually kind of a tough call, because I've been on the other side
Years ago I had an assistant who just didn't "get" it. No amount of pointing to the schedule for her to follow, telling her that the primary job was "eyes on" supervision of the children, and following the schedule/programming, reminding her of the day care policy, etc. did a thing to change it. It got to where I would dread her coming because she was more work than being here by myself.

So I ask:
Were you asked to fill the bird feeder? I wouldn't do anything that takes your sight off the kids. So if you were not asked, don't do it. If you were asked, call the kids over (or just the snow thrower, ) and have them "help" fill it. Oh, and always keep tissues on hand. My old assistant would constantly send kids in the house by themselves to get tissues, toys, use the bathroom, etc which is all against regs.

While it's fine to let kids play, was the play room a mess? Do these particular kids make a habit of claiming they are still playing with a certain toy to avoid clean up? Maybe the director feels the kids were "playing" you?

What are you doing to get the boy to listen? Are you being clear and consistent? Are you following the routine? What is the discipline policy of the day care? How are you expected to handle discipline issues? I remember the kids ran roughshod over this old assistant because she was so ineffective. I came back from an appointment and she wouldn't even speak to me It came out that the kids had behaved badly and one refused a time out, so she didn't "make" him (mind you we don't really do time out anymore, but to refuse?!) Anyway, she had been told repeatedly to follow the schedule, keep the kids busy, etc. she just didn't want to or understand why she needed to...then would complain when they acted out in boredom

Anyway she finally quit on me and it was a blessing in disguise. My current assistant is a former Kindegarten teacher and she "gets" it. Child care is requires a specific skill set and not everyone can(or wants to!) do it.

So ask, but also be prepared to step up your game.
Good luck!

[CollegeWorker]

This is actually kind of a tough call, because I've been on the other side
Years ago I had an assistant who just didn't "get" it. No amount of pointing to the schedule for her to follow, telling her that the primary job was "eyes on" supervision of the children, and following the schedule/programming, reminding her of the day care policy, etc. did a thing to change it. It got to where I would dread her coming because she was more work than being here by myself.

So I ask:
Were you asked to fill the bird feeder? I wouldn't do anything that takes your sight off the kids. So if you were not asked, don't do it. If you were asked, call the kids over (or just the snow thrower, ) and have them "help" fill it. Oh, and always keep tissues on hand. My old assistant would constantly send kids in the house by themselves to get tissues, toys, use the bathroom, etc which is all against regs.

While it's fine to let kids play, was the play room a mess? Do these particular kids make a habit of claiming they are still playing with a certain toy to avoid clean up? Maybe the director feels the kids were "playing" you?

What are you doing to get the boy to listen? Are you being clear and consistent? Are you following the routine? What is the discipline policy of the day care? How are you expected to handle discipline issues? I remember the kids ran roughshod over this old assistant because she was so ineffective. I came back from an appointment and she wouldn't even speak to me It came out that the kids had behaved badly and one refused a time out, so she didn't "make" him (mind you we don't really do time out anymore, but to refuse?!) Anyway, she had been told repeatedly to follow the schedule, keep the kids busy, etc. she just didn't want to or understand why she needed to...then would complain when they acted out in boredom

Anyway she finally quit on me and it was a blessing in disguise. My current assistant is a former Kindegarten teacher and she "gets" it. Child care is requires a specific skill set and not everyone can(or wants to!) do it.

So ask, but also be prepared to step up your game.
Good luck!

I was indeed asked to fill the birdfeeders, they were within ten feet of the children (small yard). Additionally, this is a Montessori school so the director encourages little involvement with the children, who by this point are all used to not needed an assistance to constantly stand over them. The director often lets them play outside with her in the kitchen with the windows open so she can hear and see. For the tissues, there is a sunroom that isn't "inside" the building and there are always tissues and such in there which is where he got his from, although the kids re allowed to go inside or out at their leisure as long as I know and approve it. Sometimes kids don't want to go play outside, and sometimes they don't want to play inside and we try to encourage independent ideas at Montessori.

The play room wasn't a mess, its a huge room and there was just one small wooden house on the table that had a house set up with beds and whatnot, in addition to a few small dolls being on the table. It only took us 2 seconds to gather everything and put it in the bin, though I admit I shouldn't have forgotten that it was out, we all got distracted by parents coming in and out and new games to be played.

As for discipline, we definitely do not do time outs. Instead we basically do a "time in" as a last resort which is where we make them be glued to our side and follow us around if we aren't positive he can be safe playing by himself. Before we get to that point, its just a lot of redirection. He handles redirection fine, normally all I have to say is something along the lines of, "if your actions show me that you are bored I am going to find a puzzle for you to play with." normally that is immediately responded to with an insistence that he's not bored and a few more minutes of peaceful playing. Mostly I just wish that he didn't need constant redirecting, but the director told me that he's always been one of the crazier kids since she first had him in her school 2 years ago. She commented that, despite having a montessori outlook on school, he was one of the dcks who has to constantly be reminded to behave, despite knowing the rules like the back of his hand.

I think this daycare is a little bit different in the amount of freedom kids are suppposed to have. They can run around (although there is a limit on how fast :, play with whatever they want, do most things, even snowball fights, as long as every person agrees, and are generally left alone. Not to say that we don't watch them, but we aren't constantly shadowing them either. Sometimes we'll be in the kitchen and the kids will all be playing a game in the big room, or sometimes half the kids will be outside while we have the window open, and the other half will be doing artwork in the kitchen.