Yet Another Sleep Training Question

[Rockgirl]

I've been doing daycare over 20 years, but I think I've met my match with this one.

I've had 9 month old since she was 2 months old. She's never been a great napper here, but we've managed. Lately she's been waking after about 45 minutes. Some days she goes back to sleep after a few minutes, and sleeps another hour or more. More and more often, she doesn't. She just continues to cry and cry. If I go comfort her, she goes absolutely ballistic.

I've tried just getting her up after a stretch of crying, but she will NOT go back down later in the day, and she becomes unbearable throughout the afternoon and doesn't leave till closing time.

I guess my question is...how long should I let her cry when she wakes after such a short nap, in hopes of her going back to sleep? I've never had one who would just continue to cry and cry, and not fall back asleep. I've always had great sleepers, or ones who became great sleepers after a few weeks of being here.

I currently have a sticker on the calendar for her. I need to see improvement over the next two weeks, or term. I really don't want that, because that means I'll also lose her sweet 3 yr old brother. :/

[Rockgirl]

I should mention that she gets here at 10 AM--I think she takes a short morning nap some days, but not every day.

[LadyMacbeth]

What time is she going down for this nap? is there anyway she could fall asleep later, with the hope that she'll stay asleep longer? Im thinking that if you move her nap time an hour or two, she'll be more tired and able to be in a deeper sleep. Also it will make her afternoon a lot less cranky. My daughter was never a good napper, and at two years old she just stopped taking them all together.

As far as the crying goes, I think what you're doing is appropriate. Maybe after five minutes and she doesn't seem to want to go back to sleep, its time to get her up. It also kind of sounds like she has some sort of anxiety. Is she whiny before nap as well?

[Rockgirl]

What time is she going down for this nap? is there anyway she could fall asleep later, with the hope that she'll stay asleep longer? Im thinking that if you move her nap time an hour or two, she'll be more tired and able to be in a deeper sleep. Also it will make her afternoon a lot less cranky. My daughter was never a good napper, and at two years old she just stopped taking them all together.

As far as the crying goes, I think what you're doing is appropriate. Maybe after five minutes and she doesn't seem to want to go back to sleep, its time to get her up. It also kind of sounds like she has some sort of anxiety. Is she whiny before nap as well?

She's going down around 12:30, after practically falling asleep in her lunch. She may sleep better going down later, but I'm not sure I can keep her awake! She was so tired by pickup today.

[Blackcat31]

Argh! The sleep issues we encounter are getting worse every year aren't they?

*sigh*

I have no advice but I do have lots of (((hugs)))
Most the time, I stress about the sleep issue, read a ton of info, try different things and end up feeling like nothing can be done, only to find it was a phase and the kid ends up developing a new sleep issue.

Hoping this passes quickly for you and her!

[Rockgirl]

Argh! The sleep issues we encounter are getting worse every year aren't they?

*sigh*

I have no advice but I do have lots of (((hugs)))
Most the time, I stress about the sleep issue, read a ton of info, try different things and end up feeling like nothing can be done, only to find it was a phase and the kid ends up developing a new sleep issue.

Hoping this passes quickly for you and her!

Thank you! I really am hoping this is a phase. This family is so wonderful.....I don't want to let them go. I may work on this a little longer than I had planned, in hopes of getting her into a decent routine.

Sometimes it helps just knowing I'm not struggling alone in this.

[Ariana]

The under a year crowd and their naps! Lol

How does she sleep at night? My own kids naps improved when their night time sleep improved so that might be the culprit. Also does she sleep in some mornings and not other mornings? She might be getting her morning nap before she gets to your house if she sleeps in. On those days maybe dont nap her in the am and put her down a bit earlier for afternoon nap if possible. At this age she has to be awake for 2-3 hours in between naps if I remember correctly. So if she sleeps in, her nap is not until around lunch time.

Every day at drop off I would ask what time she woke up and go from there. Some kids get up for an hour at 6am and then go back and sleep and another hour or two, which she can do if she doesnt get to your house until 10am.

[Rockgirl]

The under a year crowd and their naps! Lol

How does she sleep at night? My own kids naps improved when their night time sleep improved so that might be the culprit. Also does she sleep in some mornings and not other mornings? She might be getting her morning nap before she gets to your house if she sleeps in. On those days maybe dont nap her in the am and put her down a bit earlier for afternoon nap if possible. At this age she has to be awake for 2-3 hours in between naps if I remember correctly. So if she sleeps in, her nap is not until around lunch time.

Every day at drop off I would ask what time she woke up and go from there. Some kids get up for an hour at 6am and then go back and sleep and another hour or two, which she can do if she doesnt get to your house until 10am.

She doesn't take a morning nap here at all. Not sure how late she sleeps in, but she goes down for afternoon nap here around 12:30--she's definitely tired then. Dcm says she sleeps through the night most nights.

I may buy another white noise machine. I have one in the playroom for the preschoolers. This baby sleeps at the end of my hall....maybe she would sleep better with white noise muffling noises.

Thanks--I value the input!

[daycarediva]

Have you considered putting her down earlier? If she's already so exhausted I might try bumping lunch up and putting her down (and everyone else 1/2 hour earlier) you might be missing her window.

Lots of background noise- I use classical music and books on cd.

I also would go in LESS, if it only gets her going more I wouldn't go in at all until rest time was over. I would NOT be getting her up as soon as she woke up.

[Controlled Chaos]

Have you considered putting her down earlier? If she's already so exhausted I might try bumping lunch up and putting her down (and everyone else 1/2 hour earlier) you might be missing her window.

Lots of background noise- I use classical music and books on cd.

I also would go in LESS, if it only gets her going more I wouldn't go in at all until rest time was over. I would NOT be getting her up as soon as she woke up.

I agree with all of the above, but expecially the bolded bit. I worry she has learned if she cries she gets be done.

[Rockgirl]

I should have clarified--I'm not getting her up when she starts crying. I've been letting her try getting herself back to sleep....some days she falls back to sleep after a few minutes of crying. When she doesn't, she will cry and cry. I was wondering how long you all would continue to let her cry, since she seems to be able to go on endlessly. When it's clear that she is definitely up for good, I get her up.

I have stopped going and trying to comfort her. If she sees me and I don't pick her up, she goes absolutely nuts. So I don't do that anymore.

[mommyneedsadayoff]

I would leave her for the rest of nap time. I wouldn't go in atall. Kids waking 45 minutes into nap is really common (they even call it the 45 minute intruder :. If nap time is usually an hour and a half, and she wakes 45 min in, I wouldn't go in for at least 30 minutes. And if she is still awake and fussing after 30, I would go in happy and say nap time is over and get her up. Then keep being consistent with nap times and her bed routine. It can take a day or a week, but it's usually just a phase. The more consistent you are, the quicker they out grow it.

[Ariana]

I should have clarified--I'm not getting her up when she starts crying. I've been letting her try getting herself back to sleep....some days she falls back to sleep after a few minutes of crying. When she doesn't, she will cry and cry. I was wondering how long you all would continue to let her cry, since she seems to be able to go on endlessly. When it's clear that she is definitely up for good, I get her up.

I have stopped going and trying to comfort her. If she sees me and I don't pick her up, she goes absolutely nuts. So I don't do that anymore.

I am finding your posh a bit confusing but....My nap time is my nap time so she would be staying in there until nap time is over. If she is flipping out I wouldnt go in at all to comfort her during the nap time.

A bed is safe place to be. Flipping out and crying is a learned response. She does this because she is being taken out of the room for doing it. Nothing wrong with a child relaxing in her bed until nap time is over and most kids can do it. White noise machine 100% for sure and turn it up LOUD! Works like a charm. I don't use music myself because I find kids have much more trouble with it than with white noise in my experience.

[Rockgirl]

I would leave her for the rest of nap time. I wouldn't go in atall. Kids waking 45 minutes into nap is really common (they even call it the 45 minute intruder :. If nap time is usually an hour and a half, and she wakes 45 min in, I wouldn't go in for at least 30 minutes. And if she is still awake and fussing after 30, I would go in happy and say nap time is over and get her up. Then keep being consistent with nap times and her bed routine. It can take a day or a week, but it's usually just a phase. The more consistent you are, the quicker they out grow it.

Thanks! That's really what I was wondering about....whether it was too long to let her cry. Sometimes I start to doubt myself after 20-30 minutes of nonstop crying.

[Rockgirl]

I am finding your posh a bit confusing but....My nap time is my nap time so she would be staying in there until nap time is over. If she is flipping out I wouldnt go in at all to comfort her during the nap time.

A bed is safe place to be. Flipping out and crying is a learned response. She does this because she is being taken out of the room for doing it. Nothing wrong with a child relaxing in her bed until nap time is over and most kids can do it. White noise machine 100% for sure and turn it up LOUD! Works like a charm. I don't use music myself because I find kids have much more trouble with it than with white noise in my experience.

Sorry--I didn't mean to be confusing. Some had the impression that I was going right in and picking her up as soon as the crying started, so I was trying to clear that up.

Thanks--I will keep doing what I'm doing as far as letting her cry, after hearing that it really is ok. And I'll get another white noise machine today.