Testing Me

[BrynleeJean]

What do y'all do if you have a three year old who tests you?

I use redirection most of the time Of course if they broke a rule or are misbehaving but it just kind seems like they weren't meaning to if that makes sense they were just being kids I'll warn them and redirect them but i have a dcg that will do it over and over and if I start walking to her to have a conversation she will straighten up and stop the behavior. Just testing me. I'll have her sit out of activities because of some of the behavior but she will play in timeout unless I sit next to her, just testing me.. I talk to dcm and dcd about it, they break eye contact with me, brush it off, say "get your things" change the conversation.

Nothing overly awful obviously but NO parent coop makes me mad. I'm not a babysitter I run a child care program and when your child chooses not to participate 50% of the time it makes things difficult! That's how I feel anyways
What do y'all do sorry for the rant

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

The child is 3. I'm assuming they already know the rules. Say things once, and if she continues have her do an alternate activity every.single.time. It doesn't matter if she stops as you're walking over there.

I've had TWO little girls like this in the past. One got progressively worse (in a scary way) so I terminated the contract. The other I terminated the contract with after 1-2 months after she slapped something out of my hand. Both were used to it being "CUTESY" to not listen and be disrespectful.
Not cute.

[grandmom]

She's getting what she wants when you sit next to her in time out.

Move her away from the project she's working on, put her somewhere with a toy she isn't fond of, isolate her.

[daycare]

She's getting what she wants when you sit next to her in time out.

Move her away from the project she's working on, put her somewhere with a toy she isn't fond of, isolate her.

this was my thought too. I give one reminder and explain,
like jumping off the reading bench, susie, that is not safe, our reading bench is for sitting to read our books, would you like to sit and read a book on the reading bench?

take any negative out of it. kids will seek out the behavior that gets them the most attention.

if she does it again, susie that was not safe, I want you to sit out and think about making safer choices, lead her to the thinking spot, (thats what we call it, we don't call it time out) have her sit for a few minutes. DO not give her ANY attention while she is there, let her do as she pleases. This is an opportunity for her to think about making better choices. When you leave her in the thinking spot I would talk to everyone else about how they are making good choices, high-five, really talk up.

when her time is up, go back, and ask her, have you thought of ways to be safe? make her tell you, if she won't, you tell her. I will give you some more time to think of ways to be safe. then leave and don't give any attention. she may kick the walls, if she does, walk over and remove her legs from the walls, say nothing, no eye contract and go back to having fun.

she knows how to get attention from you and she will continue to increase that bad behavior as long as you are feeding it. stop feeding it, it will go away.

catch her doing good, if you show her that doing good things will make her feel good and she will get positive attention, she will continue to be positive and increase the positive behavior and decrease the negative behavior.

sadly, for some kids the only way they get attention is to do bad things and those are normally the ones that need the positive love and attention the most.