Tattling?

[DCMomOf3]

How do you decide if a child is tattling vs telling you something?

Like "DCB took all the tissues out of the box." tattle or information?

[jen]

I tell kids if someone or something is being hurt they should tell me. It is a hard concept to teach though.

[kitkat]

I do is it a big problem or little problem. Big problems are when someone is hurt, is going to hurt someone else, or is doing something dangerous. A little problem would be pretty much everything else. We talk about if it's a little problem, then they should use their words with the other dck. If that doesn't work, then they can tell me. There are gray areas. I don't know how I'd explain taking all the tissue out, but I'd consider that more of a bigger problem.

[SilverSabre25]

It's a hard balance to strike because you don't want to squash them telling you about the REALLY important things i.e. someone got a plug protector off, someone is choking, there's smoke coming from the lamp, etc.

If it's something really minor "Mommy, she's putting the play fork in her mouth..." "Mommy, dcb1 hit dcb 2....(and there's NO crying/distress)" I go through "Is it hurting you? Is it hurting her? Is it hurting the area around her? No? Then I don't need to know about it. Go play."

If it's something else (like the tissues) I thank the child who told me and then deal with the situation--BUT if this kind of thing becomes too frequent, I start downplaying it a bit and will even ignore something technically harmless (like the tissues) in order to get the tattler to back off.

If it's something MAJOR, like the day a dcb got his head stuck between the bars of our railing, I thank the child profusely and let them know that THAT is the kind of thing I really need to know about!

[momatheart]

I tell my kids if YOU are hurt tell me. If someone is crying tell me. If someone is hurting someone tell me.

If you see blood tell me.
If you see or smell pee or poop tell me.
If you see that somone is throwing up tell me.

However, I did create tattle Thursday. I would tell the kids it is not tattle tale thursday so save it until Thursday.

Then Thursdays I would gather the kids and say OK who has a tattle to share? They would laugh and laugh. Then some would actually say one.
Eg. Joey didn't put his book away. Then I would say humm is that blood? Poop? Pee? Then the kids would laugh.

Now I have a tattle tree. I tell them to go and tell the tattle tree. And when they actually do it it is so funny. They say UMM Tattle tree Emily.......

My preschoolers have gotten so much better at NOT tattling.