Difficult Daycare Provider

[mka_mommy]

2 weeks ago I pulled my children out immediately when I found out the daycare provider brought my 17 month old to a doctor who prescribed her medicine without my consent. I had no idea that she was brought to a doctor, and the only reason I had found out was because she was asking me what pharmacy I pick up from. This led me to question why, and how. I went over all the contracts I had copies of, but none contained a 2 week notice policy. In good faith I paid 1 week and asked for a copy of the signed contract. I received no copy of any contract, and a week later I am receiving a request to leave the 2nd half of the payment under their doormat. I politely asked for the signed contract and I will leave it on the porch that night. I then get a text telling me that the daycare provider has in the hospital for the past 5 days and is receiving chemotherapy and cannot provide the contract. I keep in contact with one of the mothers whose child is still currently under her care. Out of curiosity, I asked how the daycare provider is doing and if she has been out sick. It is confirmed that she was home the night before cooking spaghetti. She was rude, she insulted me, she told me how horrible of a parent I am, but I still only simply requested for a copy of the signed contract. She is now threatening to bring me to court, and that she has now calculated over $2,000 of late fees. This is outrageous. I've never picked them up later than we've agreed, and why did she never charge me late fees when it supposedly incurred? I'm completely unaware of these fees she is now threatening to charge me, Is this acceptable? Oh and, at this moment, I still have not received a copy of the contract. During her mean rant to me, about me, she slipped and said she bathed my children. This is completely unacceptable and I've never consented her to ever take my children baths. They take baths at home. Period. I also brought up the fact that it is not okay for her to give over the counter medicine where she responded with, i signed an agreement that she can give them over the counter medicine. It was ALLERGY MEDICINE IN JANUARY. My children only have seasonal Spring allergies?! I stayed professional, and did not respond maliciously towards her. I was just in shock. Is this acceptable? What can I do? I wouldn't trust any child under her care. Does anyone have any advice?

I am shocked.

[Thriftylady]

Well first I wonder what doctor would have seen or treated your DD without your consent. I have consent forms signed for my DCKs, but they clearly state on them "emergency medical". Meaning I can get them treated in an emergency until a parent arrives. I would be calling the parent at my soonest possible moment, as soon as I could when dealing with an emergency. How do you know she took your child to a doctor?

The medicine thing, my parents sign a form as well, but I always text for permission before giving anything. I don't like to admin any meds, but if I have to I text each and every time and the parent responds so I have verified permission each time. As far as allergies, my DD and I have year round indoor/outdoor allergies, but as a parent you would surely know if you child was having allergy issues. My next question there is did you drop your child off ill? Even so you should have been notified.

As far as the contract, I never ask my parents to pay fees before the contract is written up and signed and I hand them a photo copy. In the future, I suggest you ask for it this way!

As far as late pick ups did you personally sign your child in and out each day? If so, the log should clear that up. If not, it could be your word against hers, but I would argue that it was never asked to be paid at the time it was supposedly incurred.

My best advice at this point is to make it a learning lesson. If you feel she broke licensing rules, you can call and make a report and they handle it from there. They will ask to see her records at that point.

[NightOwl]

Who paid for this doctor's visit and the meds? I'm finding it hard to believe that the provider would foot the bill for this. Did she bill you?

[Thriftylady]

Who paid for this doctor's visit and the meds? I'm finding it hard to believe that the provider would foot the bill for this. Did she bill you?

I was wondering that also. Still wondering why the doctors office would see a child with an emergency medical release if it wasn't an actual emergency.

[LysesKids]

I'm wondering how a DR could treat a child period without parental consent; not just emergencies... my contract specifically states

In the event that Exxxx determines that emergency medical attention is necessary for my child, I authorize Exxxx xxxx to act as an agent for me, and to give my permission for my child to be attended by rescue personnel and/or physician in such circumstances, as she deems necessary until a parent can be reached. This childcare home does not provide transport for injured children. I, the parent, understand that I am responsible for any and all transportation and medical costs for my child.

No chance I would take a kid to a DR for just allergies or similar

[Thriftylady]

I'm wondering how a DR could treat a child period without parental consent; not just emergencies... my contract specifically states

In the event that Exxxx determines that emergency medical attention is necessary for my child, I authorize Exxxx xxxx to act as an agent for me, and to give my permission for my child to be attended by rescue personnel and/or physician in such circumstances, as she deems necessary until a parent can be reached. This childcare home does not provide transport for injured children. I, the parent, understand that I am responsible for any and all transportation and medical costs for my child.

No chance I would take a kid to a DR for just allergies or similar

I like your clause about transporting. I am going to think about adding that. Problem is depending on the emergency I could see me transporting. I mean in the case of a broken bone, I wouldn't call an ambulance, but I wouldn't want a child sitting in pain for the half hour drive time all my parents have to get here, then another half hour drive to the hospital.

[mka_mommy]

She did not bill me, and I found it hard to believe myself. When she would not tell me what doctor prescribed the medicine, I took the children out immediately. The only thing she told me was "It is my daughters doctor and a long time friend" I feel like they somehow tried to use my insurance (provided in case of an emergency) but was unable to pick up at the pharmacy because I had recently switched jobs & insurance. She text my mom what pharmacy I pick up from, which was a red flag, then I confronted her on why she needs that info. This happened very recently, so I'm wondering if I'll be receiving something in the mail?

[mka_mommy]

I was wondering that also. Still wondering why the doctors office would see a child with an emergency medical release if it wasn't an actual emergency.

I believe someone bended some rules for her ~ Ex-daycare provider simply told me it was her daughters doctor and a long time friend. I took it in calmly, and that night I knew I was pulling them out of there.

[mka_mommy]

Well first I wonder what doctor would have seen or treated your DD without your consent. I have consent forms signed for my DCKs, but they clearly state on them "emergency medical". Meaning I can get them treated in an emergency until a parent arrives. I would be calling the parent at my soonest possible moment, as soon as I could when dealing with an emergency. How do you know she took your child to a doctor?

The medicine thing, my parents sign a form as well, but I always text for permission before giving anything. I don't like to admin any meds, but if I have to I text each and every time and the parent responds so I have verified permission each time. As far as allergies, my DD and I have year round indoor/outdoor allergies, but as a parent you would surely know if you child was having allergy issues. My next question there is did you drop your child off ill? Even so you should have been notified.

As far as the contract, I never ask my parents to pay fees before the contract is written up and signed and I hand them a photo copy. In the future, I suggest you ask for it this way!

As far as late pick ups did you personally sign your child in and out each day? If so, the log should clear that up. If not, it could be your word against hers, but I would argue that it was never asked to be paid at the time it was supposedly incurred.

My best advice at this point is to make it a learning lesson. If you feel she broke licensing rules, you can call and make a report and they handle it from there. They will ask to see her records at that point.

There is no sign in sheet. And I was rarely late. If I was I'd have called my mother to pick up my children to avoid being late. But even then, why and how would she be able to charge me $2k+ in late fees? I wish I could send the screenshot of her texts to me. She is literally crazy. One moment she says she misses my kids and would watch them for free, the next moment she is going crazy because I've simply asked for a contract in order to pay the remaining $300.

[childcaremom]

I feel like there is something criminal going on here.

I would contact the police. I would contact licensing.

Are there other children still in care there?

I would NOT send my child back, cease communications and keep a record of all her attempts to contact me.

[Josiegirl]

I feel like there is something criminal going on here.

I would contact the police. I would contact licensing.

Are there other children still in care there?

I would NOT send my child back, cease communications and keep a record of all her attempts to contact me.

I agree!! Something is totally off with this entire situation. Definitely call licensing. And if needed, go right up the list to get satisfaction. Get all the documentation you have kept so far plus everything else she sends you. Is this woman licensed with the state, do you know if there are online complaints about her, maybe you could talk further with the other dcm you seem to have a bond with(discuss actions such as bathing, meds., etc.), does she seem to have tons of kids(over ratios), it doesn't add up. If you can afford to get a lawyer maybe go that route? If not, then check around and see if there is some kind of agency that can help you with the legalities of this.
I also don't understand....did dcp try to get OTC meds or prescription meds? IF she did bring your dd to the drs. why would she need to know which pharmacy you used to get OTC?

[Thriftylady]

There is no sign in sheet. And I was rarely late. If I was I'd have called my mother to pick up my children to avoid being late. But even then, why and how would she be able to charge me $2k+ in late fees? I wish I could send the screenshot of her texts to me. She is literally crazy. One moment she says she misses my kids and would watch them for free, the next moment she is going crazy because I've simply asked for a contract in order to pay the remaining $300.

In the future, I would look for a provider who has the things i mentioned in place such as the sign in/sigh out sheet, etc. That is for the provider, but it helps protect you also.

[Blackcat31]

2 weeks ago I pulled my children out immediately when I found out the daycare provider brought my 17 month old to a doctor who prescribed her medicine without my consent. I had no idea that she was brought to a doctor, and the only reason I had found out was because she was asking me what pharmacy I pick up from. This led me to question why, and how. I went over all the contracts I had copies of, but none contained a 2 week notice policy. In good faith I paid 1 week and asked for a copy of the signed contract. I received no copy of any contract, and a week later I am receiving a request to leave the 2nd half of the payment under their doormat. I politely asked for the signed contract and I will leave it on the porch that night. I then get a text telling me that the daycare provider has in the hospital for the past 5 days and is receiving chemotherapy and cannot provide the contract. I keep in contact with one of the mothers whose child is still currently under her care. Out of curiosity, I asked how the daycare provider is doing and if she has been out sick. It is confirmed that she was home the night before cooking spaghetti. She was rude, she insulted me, she told me how horrible of a parent I am, but I still only simply requested for a copy of the signed contract. She is now threatening to bring me to court, and that she has now calculated over $2,000 of late fees. This is outrageous. I've never picked them up later than we've agreed, and why did she never charge me late fees when it supposedly incurred? I'm completely unaware of these fees she is now threatening to charge me, Is this acceptable? Oh and, at this moment, I still have not received a copy of the contract. During her mean rant to me, about me, she slipped and said she bathed my children. This is completely unacceptable and I've never consented her to ever take my children baths. They take baths at home. Period. I also brought up the fact that it is not okay for her to give over the counter medicine where she responded with, i signed an agreement that she can give them over the counter medicine. It was ALLERGY MEDICINE IN JANUARY. My children only have seasonal Spring allergies?! I stayed professional, and did not respond maliciously towards her. I was just in shock. Is this acceptable? What can I do? I wouldn't trust any child under her care. Does anyone have any advice?

I am shocked.

What state are you in?

[mka_mommy]

I feel like there is something criminal going on here.

I would contact the police. I would contact licensing.

Are there other children still in care there?

I would NOT send my child back, cease communications and keep a record of all her attempts to contact me.

My first reaction was to contact police. This is hard, because I've trusted her care for the past 1.5 years with my kids. And her husband is a cop. So I've been proceeding with caution. I didn't realize asking for a signed contract would unfold into a crazy mess (which I still have not received!) I need to figure out how to get her license. She gave me a business card when the kids just started, but I can't find it! I've been searching all over the internet, which led me to this website, but to no avail.

To give you an idea of

Here are her exact words, "My daughter is sitting with me watching powerful drugs run through me as she cries day and night wondering if I will live or die and all you give a crap about is a damn signed contract you know you signed a year and a half ago. Are you that heartless?? You need help... you seriously need help. Think about who are you as a human!! My daughter is crying as she is laying in bed with me and you care about yourself. Sick."

I can't even make up stuff like this! She's seriously insane. And having her husband as a cop does not make this situation any easier for me. All the while, I KNEW she was not at the hospital because the other mom was giving me updates on her! (Making spaghetti for the kids, going to softball with her daughter?!) Pretty good for someone who was doing 5 days of chemo? A horrible reason to avoid giving me a signed contract!

It took me awhile to respond, because I have no experience with dealing with a person like this. My response was simply "Please send over the signed contract and we will be happy to pay the rest"

She is NOT fit to run a childcare. It's weird cause literally not even a month ago I was raving about what a great daycare my kids go to... and now suddenly I'm fearing for any child that still goes there... and that gut wrenching thoughts of what did she do, what did she give them, when I was completely unaware of her bizarre behavior/personality... =/

[mka_mommy]

What state are you in?

California