Thoughts Please

[Thriftylady]

I have had this 4 yr old for three weeks. He doesn't seem to be learning. We work on letters and numbers and such daily. We write them, use flash cards, have been practicing writing his name and saying the letters. He hasn't learned any in three weeks. Today I had him say the name of the letter each time he wrote it. Five minutes later he has no clue.

I have noticed also that sometimes he has no clue what I am saying to him. The other day I told him to put something in his cubby and he started pulling at his hoodie. I then asked him "where is your cubby?". He pulled on and pointed to his hoodie. He seems to have some kind of communication thing, he has done this with other things.

I am not sure if it is him or me at this point. He will be starting kindy in the fall, so part of me thinks I should just keep doing what I am doing and let the school figure it out. The other part of me says that isn't the right thing to do if I think there may be an issue. But I have no formal training in these things. I did ask dad if there were any communication issues and he said "no he is fine". When mom enrolled she told me when it came to learning, "he is stubborn". I don't think he is stubborn, he LOVES "school" time. I guess I am just looking for what others would do.

[mamamanda]

It's hard to say without knowing more about the little guy, but I had a dcg with developmental delays who sounds very similar. With her it was repetition, repetition, repetition...yes, you're probably going to want to lose your mind after a while. I worked with her for a whole school year and she only recognized 3 letters. She left and went to a full day preschool for a year and came back only recognizing 8 letters. So in 2 years, she picked up 8 letters total. I worked with her over the summer trying to help prepare her for kindy and and she now knows probably 16 both upper and lower case.

It's starting to click for her, but I still find that if we don't review very regularly she loses it. The best thing I figured out for her was to find her learning style. She is a very hands on learner. And when they are struggling they often need it presented in different ways. She also had sensory processing disorder so I would create many, many different types of activities to teach the same concept. Example: I would hide magnetic letters in a bin of corn and let her dig through the corn with her hands to find them. Then she could practice matching them to the appropriate flash card. We would use the same letters and learn chants for them or do motions while saying their names and sounds. We had a letter tree on the wall and would hang upper case letter leaves on the top and lower case letter leaves at the bottom. We practiced tracing them with pencil and crayons. She practiced tracing sand paper letters for the texture. You can hide easter eggs with letters tucked inside and let him search for them. Basically any way you can make learning a fun game rather than work.

Also, if there is a delay he may just need extra time to figure it out. I would be concerned, but if the parents aren't on board your hands are kind of tied. Just keep the focus on having fun since most learning happens through play at this point anyway. I wish more parents would see the issues so these kids could get early intervention, but the good news is he will be going to kindy soon so they will require evaluations if there really is a problem. He's lucky to have you Thrifty! You seem like you really enjoy working with your kiddos.

[Thriftylady]

It's hard to say without knowing more about the little guy, but I had a dcg with developmental delays who sounds very similar. With her it was repetition, repetition, repetition...yes, you're probably going to want to lose your mind after a while. I worked with her for a whole school year and she only recognized 3 letters. She left and went to a full day preschool for a year and came back only recognizing 8 letters. So in 2 years, she picked up 8 letters total. I worked with her over the summer trying to help prepare her for kindy and and she now knows probably 16 both upper and lower case.

It's starting to click for her, but I still find that if we don't review very regularly she loses it. The best thing I figured out for her was to find her learning style. She is a very hands on learner. And when they are struggling they often need it presented in different ways. She also had sensory processing disorder so I would create many, many different types of activities to teach the same concept. Example: I would hide magnetic letters in a bin of corn and let her dig through the corn with her hands to find them. Then she could practice matching them to the appropriate flash card. We would use the same letters and learn chants for them or do motions while saying their names and sounds. We had a letter tree on the wall and would hang upper case letter leaves on the top and lower case letter leaves at the bottom. We practiced tracing them with pencil and crayons. She practiced tracing sand paper letters for the texture. You can hide easter eggs with letters tucked inside and let him search for them. Basically any way you can make learning a fun game rather than work.

Also, if there is a delay he may just need extra time to figure it out. I would be concerned, but if the parents aren't on board your hands are kind of tied. Just keep the focus on having fun since most learning happens through play at this point anyway. I wish more parents would see the issues so these kids could get early intervention, but the good news is he will be going to kindy soon so they will require evaluations if there really is a problem. He's lucky to have you Thrifty! You seem like you really enjoy working with your kiddos.

I wish I had more of a chance to talk to mom. Dad seemed almost offended when I mentioned something before. I wonder if I could talk to mom if she would take it better. But dad does all the drop off and pick ups. I wish I had more training in this so I could put my finger on it though. I guess I will just keep working with him on this stuff for now.

[NeedaVaca]

Does he speak well? Cubby/Hoodie made me wonder about his hearing. If language is a concern I would get his hearing tested first.

[Thriftylady]

Does he speak well? Cubby/Hoodie made me wonder about his hearing. If language is a concern I would get his hearing tested first.

He speaks pretty well, but when I was talking to him about it, he had no idea what a cubby was, even though he has one and has been shown it,:confused: Sometimes when I talk to him he looks at me like I am speaking French or something. Hubby was home last week and I asked if it was just me and hubby didn't think so.

[Ariana]

I wish I had more of a chance to talk to mom. Dad seemed almost offended when I mentioned something before. I wonder if I could talk to mom if she would take it better. But dad does all the drop off and pick ups. I wish I had more training in this so I could put my finger on it though. I guess I will just keep working with him on this stuff for now.

If dad seemed offended it is probably because he knows something is off too. Parents who are not noticing stuff are usually shocked when you mention this. You really need to approach this with more confidence. Get a developmental checklist and see what milestones he is meeting. If he is meeting them all then I would not worry. If he isn't then have a meeting with the parents, show them the checklist and recommend that they take him to a pediatrician just to rule things out. Then it is up to them.

A lot of kids are daydreamers at this age. He might be very intelligent but just off in his own little world. Some kids also get super anxious when put on the spot and asked questions. I had a little girl like this. Would totally freeze when I asked her a direct question.

[Laurel]

Does he speak well? Cubby/Hoodie made me wonder about his hearing. If language is a concern I would get his hearing tested first.

To me, this screams 'not hearing'. We had a problem with my son in kindergarten. A not very good teacher thought it was a behavior issue. She said "I'll say his name and he won't even turn his head" or "I tell him to do something and he just sits there or looks confused. He is stubborn." Then the ENT said "It's a wonder he got through his day at all. He has almost no hearing in one ear and the other ear is compromised." He just had tubes put in back then.

OP, if it's not a hearing problem you could try using other senses when you work with him. They say the more senses you use when you teach something the more it sinks in. Montessori uses sandpaper letters. The child traces them with their finger and says the letter. So they are using sight, hearing and touch. I agree with another poster who said try different approaches. You might even ask him and see if he has any awareness. I'd say "You seemed to know this letter a few minutes ago, do you know why you don't know it now?" It couldn't hurt. Sometimes they are able to tell you things you didn't even think they knew.

[NoMoreJuice!]

I'm a huge fan of catering to all the multiple intelligences in my preschool class. Every month, we do a letter of the week for three weeks, then a review week. We sing about the letter, trace the letter in sand, make the letter in clay, have pictures of the letter with a word associate posted everywhere, cut the letters out of magazines, talk about the sound of the letter and place it in beginning, middle, and ending of words. It takes total immersion in a letter for them to actually get the feel for it. And we don't limit it to preschool, the entire day I'll serve broccoli for lunch and someone will pipe up and say "B for Broccoli!" and they all talk about it. I also ask all my parents to help their kids search for letters in environmental print (The letter P on a box of Pop tarts, etc) and it helps make the connection.

[Unregistered]

Can you do an Ages and Stages assessment? Say your doing it for everyone so they don't feel singled out.

[Thriftylady]

Thanks for all the advice guys! I am totally up for trying new learning techniques. Love all the ideas there. As far as an assessment, I think I will see if I can find one!

[Unregistered]

Is a pre K screening required in your district? If so, let parents know, and any concerns should be picked up there.

[laundrymom]

Can you do an Ages and Stages assessment? Say your doing it for everyone so they don't feel singled out.

This!!!! If you need one I'm sure someone here can email one. I'd hate for this guy to slip through the cracks.

[Thriftylady]

This!!!! If you need one I'm sure someone here can email one. I'd hate for this guy to slip through the cracks.

I looked those up online, are they free? When I look it up, so much is coming up I am getting lost in documents!

[Leigh]

Your local school district may do assessments. Ours will come right to daycare to do some of them. For younger kids, our Birth to Three program does, as well. Maybe you could set up a screening at your home for him? Offer it to all of the parents?

[laundrymom]

I looked those up online, are they free? When I look it up, so much is coming up I am getting lost in documents!

I got mine through a grant so I'm not sure.