How Much Crying Is Normal?

[Indoorvoice]

No offense taken! I think we are saying the same things and it does sound like he is not jiving with your space. I don't know if it is a matter of "not getting what he wants" as it might be that he is not getting what he needs. He may not need constant entertainment he may just need someone to be close. If you put him on the floor and sit with him does he still cry?

I love RIE and I think it is great but it doesn't necessarily work with all kids in every stage of development. My own kids were around 8 months old before they could direct their own play. At 6 months the exersaucer and all of those traditional things saved my sanity and my kids enjoyed them but I understand if it is not something you agree with

Thanks for understanding! I love being able to debate without it turning nasty!

He does still cry if I'm sitting near him. In fact my daycare is pretty much all one area, so he can see me at all times. He just really wants me to sit him up on his bum in front of me and talk baby talk. It's the only thing I have found that makes him happy. I have had him since he was 3 months, so I feel like he should be a little more comfortable by now.

And it's not that I'm against devices really. I used them intermittently with my first. I Just don't have them anymore! Everyone was asking for this type of care so I studied it and started offering it. It's funny because all the parents coming to me are concerned that they don't want their baby in a bouncy all day at daycare because they follow RIE and then they post pictures of their babies in all sorts of devices at home! It makes it hard on me.

I agree that he's probably just not liking it here. I need to somehow start making it clear in interviews that if parents want RIE care, they need to practice it at home too.

[Heidi]

Thanks for understanding! I love being able to debate without it turning nasty!

He does still cry if I'm sitting near him. In fact my daycare is pretty much all one area, so he can see me at all times. He just really wants me to sit him up on his bum in front of me and talk baby talk. It's the only thing I have found that makes him happy. I have had him since he was 3 months, so I feel like he should be a little more comfortable by now.

And it's not that I'm against devices really. I used them intermittently with my first. I Just don't have them anymore! Everyone was asking for this type of care so I studied it and started offering it. It's funny because all the parents coming to me are concerned that they don't want their baby in a bouncy all day at daycare because they follow RIE and then they post pictures of their babies in all sorts of devices at home! It makes it hard on me.

I agree that he's probably just not liking it here. I need to somehow start making it clear in interviews that if parents want RIE care, they need to practice it at home too.

Aha!

Yeah...that's like when they're older, and they want "no TV" daycare, and then the minute their home, they are parked in front of the TV.

I didn't know about RIE with my first, but he hated the swing, so I just never had swings. We did use walkers (gasp) sometimes, but mostly they were on the floor, in someones arms, or occasionally just sitting in a carseat (again, gasp) so they could see things. Seriously, my favorite soother for my own kiddos were to put them in the carseat with a ceiling fan. :: Well, what else to do when it's time to make dinner and it's the only time of day little man gets fussy?

There are many more options now, but that doesn't meant they're necessary or good.

[hottie8962]

I know u said u do not have any but I was thinking that might be what the baby wants is maby like seat where he sits up like a bumbo seat. I do use the baby things think its fine as long as u dont leave babys in them all day.maby give more time should be sitting up soon at that age , I think will be more happy when can crawl and sit up

[Blackcat31]

I am very familiar with RIE principles and am not sure how it relates. As an educator I can tell you that a 6 month old does not have the brain capacity to play by himself for long periods of time, it's just not possible. They need one on one interaction and face to face time with caregivers mostly. For me RIE is about respecting the infant instead of teaching. Reading their cues and creating an environment based on that. According to him the play space is not "awesome". I am not trying to be hard on you but those are the basis of RIE principles. Doesn't always work in group care.

While not common, it IS possible.
My current infant is 8 months old. Plays for long periods (over an hour) at a time self-entertaining.

My DS was a bit of a loner too and spent a good portion of his day playing alone well before he was 8 months old...but of course, he was a strange kid because he was walking unassisted and walking well by the time he was 6.5 -7 months old.

And it's not that I'm against devices really. I used them intermittently with my first. I Just don't have them anymore! Everyone was asking for this type of care so I studied it and started offering it. It's funny because all the parents coming to me are concerned that they don't want their baby in a bouncy all day at daycare because they follow RIE and then they post pictures of their babies in all sorts of devices at home! It makes it hard on me.

They like it because they don't want you to do it during the day so baby wont grow bored of it.....so they can use those things at home.

Just like parents want no TV child care... so their kid will like it at home.



I also do not use ANY type of infant equipment. I feel like if I do, then it's just one more thing I have to wean the child off of.

[Heidi]

While not common, it IS possible.
My current infant is 8 months old. Plays for long periods (over an hour) at a time self-entertaining.

My DS was a bit of a loner too and spent a good portion of his day playing alone well before he was 8 months old...but of course, he was a strange kid because he was walking unassisted and walking well by the time he was 6.5 -7 months old.




They like it because they don't want you to do it during the day so baby wont grow bored of it.....so they can use those things at home.

Just like parents want no TV child care... so their kid will like it at home.



I also do not use ANY type of infant equipment. I feel like if I do, then it's just one more thing I have to wean the child off of.

haha...copy CAT! ::::::::::::

[Blackcat31]

haha...copy CAT! ::::::::::::

When I started typing no one else had responded then when I hit enter, I saw a couple more posts and read yours and thought "Ha, great minds think alike"

Also I saw you had posted the same thing but I was too lazy to go back and say anything... today is my Friday. We are off to the North Shore at 7am tomorrow!

[Unregistered]

Do you have a bouncy chair or exersaucer are anything to put him in? With my kids I had to rotate them from one thing to another to keep them "entertained" as well. So bouncy chair, swing, exersaucer, toys on the floor, playmat etc. My first could be entertained for a lot longer than my second! My second was very ornery I don't take infants though so maybe there is better advice!

This is what I do. I've had some babies that are just a plain unhappy no mattention what. I just dealt with it (needed the $)

[daycare]

not sure if anyone asked, but how many days a weeks does this child attend your program?

[Play Care]

I agree---- butttttt I was always able to put infants down in the same room I was in, step away from them, and they would interact/watch other children/play for more than a few minutes. I could put them down in the dining room and watch them/interact with them from a short distance away while I cooked, etc.

I think op is saying that this baby isn't capable of that AT ALL. If she moves away from him, he looses it.

Ah gotcha!

I find infant care exhausting(even when the baby is a peach) so maybe I purposely blank it out?

[Indoorvoice]

not sure if anyone asked, but how many days a weeks does this child attend your program?

He's here 5 days a week with just a half day on Friday. He has a had a wacky schedule since he started at 3 months old though. Mom would pick up randomly at all hours of the day...Would wake him super early one day and then let him sleep in the next. He was miserable. It's been a little better since I enforced a more regular schedule but not much. It's the weirdest thing, I feel like he has no affection for me yet doesn't want me to leave his side.

[ChelseaB]

I do agree that there seems to be a surplus of infants who have become adjusted to having constant adult entertainment (aka my idea of "spoiling" a child; you can't spoil them love-wise, but you can spoil their attention span ). I would say that I have had 6 infants under the age of 1 so far as a provider, most of whom either started out originally with me, and I still have as toddlers; a couple have left due to changes in a parent's job; and I have 1 full time and 1 drop in now ). So quite a few!

Anyway, of those 6, 1 was the spawn of satan (but she was so darn cute and sweet as long as I was holding her!!). She was breastfed, part time at 1-2 times a week, and she literally cried every single moment I wasn't holding or entertaining her from 3 months until she could crawl. I never termed her because she was my first case like this -- I didn't want to fail, as well as I needed the extra bit of cash starting out. Never again. I never figured out a way to help her be happy, she only calmed once she could be mobile herself. And, go figure, the day she turned 1, her mom pulled her to put her into her older sister's daycare for the sibling discount as well as it was closer to her home. But I felt seriously used.

The rest have actually been fairly reasonable to accommodate, and they are all able to self entertain for at least a short amount of time. Some of them LOVE the freedom to do as they wish, whether it be crawl, roll, or just lie in our play space and watch the other kids or play with their own toys. I have one now who does have a tougher time and requires more rotation so to speak. But she will probably be great when she can crawl. However, even she can self entertain for about 10-15 minutes before needing me. In my area though, MANY parents still share the same opinions and techniques, so we haven't had an explosion of "needy" infants per say. My parents are so supportive of helping their child succeed in group care.

And It all comes down to parenting I feel -- they mold their child by how they interact with them. And so much parenting models revolve around making your child the center of the universe. And they may be yours, but I have a whole solar system to keep orbiting properly! Not helping them to develop a sense of independence is so debilitating to our kids though! I wish some individuals would understand the big picture of raising children. I know, wishful thinking. I just want these sweet kids to be contributing members to our society and to succeed.