What's An Appropriate Accommodation For Personal Space?

[mamamanda]

I would allow that ^^^ to happen NO MORE than 2 times in one day.

The 3rd time it happened, mom would be getting a call to pick up.

You are jumping through hoops and running in circles trying to placate a 3 year old child who believes she runs the show.


I answered in bold above as well.



FWIW~ I think dcg needs either some really tough love or a nanny.

This is honestly how I feel, but I feel bad for feeling this way. I did call mom for pick up a few weeks ago and mom suddenly got on board with helping with behavior. Dad got involved all of a sudden too. And some things have definitely improved, but not others. One day she shoved a baby to the ground b/c he touched her blocks. I told dad that day it absolutely would not happen in my care again. His response was that he likes an independent woman who knows what she wants, but had hoped he wouldn't have to deal with this kind of stuff until she at least hit double digits.My response: "We like independence as well. In fact, we celebrate it! But harming another child will in no way be tolerated. And the fact it was a baby makes it even more serious for me. It can not happen again." And she hasn't physically touched another child since, but that's when the screaming for space started.
I just hate having to be the "bad guy" all the time. I truly love kids and want to have fun with them. I will say though that I had 3 that were on the verge of having to go a few weeks ago. Dh came home and saw the behavior and said the stress isn't worth the money. I had very real conversations with parents and dcb who was just awful turned into an absolute sweetheart in 3 days time. I'm learning to stand my ground and enforce my policies, but it does take a back bone. Hoping we can turn this one around as well. Thanks for the bolded tips.

[mamamanda]

Heidi, I really like your idea of breaking sets of toys into smaller sets as well since several of them do like the same type of sets

[Josiegirl]

Well, if it were me? No less than 50 acres would do it.

[mamamanda]

Well, if it were me? No less than 50 acres would do it.

hahaha

[e.j.]

I would allow that ^^^ to happen NO MORE than 2 times in one day.

The 3rd time it happened, mom would be getting a call to pick up.

You are jumping through hoops and running in circles trying to placate a 3 year old child who believes she runs the show.


I answered in bold above as well.



FWIW~ I think dcg needs either some really tough love or a nanny.

When my son was younger, he had a tendency to need his own space,too, which I tried hard to respect. By the same token, he needed to learn social skills - how to share and cooperate with the other kids around him. He needed to learn that he couldn't always call the shots; that what the other kids wanted/needed were important,too. As I saw it, while his needs had to be met within reason, he also needed to be prepared for preschool, kindergarten and beyond where he would be expected to interact and get along with the other kids in class. I think her mother is doing her dd a disservice if by asking you to "accommodate her need for space" she means, "don't make her share or let the other kids play near her".