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I'm in Canada, and have been following the case of the woman being charged with murder in Ontario for shaking a 14 month old baby girl. It is such a terrible tragedy. What if she didn't do it? She hasn't been tried yet, but I've been looking up past cases where home daycare providers are charged and usually convicted of manslaughter/murder/abuse when they swear that they didn't do anything. From what i've been reading, symptoms can take up to 48 hours to show, so the injury very well could have taken place at home, under someone else's care. Does this ever worry anyone? Is there anything that we, as home daycare providers can do, to protect ourselves? Since we often see children for more waking hours than their parents do, it seems to make sense to me that we would be the first to notice symtoms, but that doesn't mean that the injury took place at our home. Anyway, I just want to hear others thoughts on this issue.
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Yes, this worries me a lot. Not only can it take a while for symptoms to show, other things can mimic symptoms of SBS. I can't remember where I read it (online somewhere) where a ton of people were accused/convicted of SBS and they also said they didn't do it - and there were reports of studies done saying that some immunizations can cause symptoms that mimic SBS.
The only thing I know to do to protect myself is to document ANY behavior that is AT ALL different than usual. Check the child over every time they come through the door and if there is any difference in their normal look/behavior, document it. I'm especially nervous if parents bring child to dc right after immunizations - I'm very watchful for anything out of the ordinary. -
Yes, I don't have any infants in care right now but as I see stories on the news of daycare workers being charged for various reasons, I worry for myself...wondering if they are being wrongfully accused and if I would ever be wrongfuly accused for something I never did in this business. For instance, on my local news a few months ago a male daycare worker was charged for sexual abuse. The accusations came from young girls, so my initial thought was how can they be sure, kids can make up all kinds of stories.
It just makes you wonder...you could do absolutely nothing wrong and be put in jail. It's a scary thought, as a mother with a family I couldn't imagine being thrown in jail and the impact it would have on my family, for a crime never committed.
As the previous poster stated, all we can do to protect ourselves is document EVERYTHING and ANYTHING unusual and always do a complete check of the child upon arrival...for any bruises or any unusual behavior.Comment
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I think that is a fear that we all have...Comment
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Makes one seriously think of having some type of camera, recording device set up in their home doesn't it?Comment
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Yes, there are pros and cons to having recrrding/monitors devices in the daycare. We had a previous article about CCTVs and one director that used the recorded data to clear himself. https://www.daycare.com/story/daycar...o_cameras.htmlComment
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I've been following it too, and I've noticed the subtle bias of the press (or the people they're interviewing) against unlicensed home daycares. As an unlicensed provider that is doing everything legally, it drives me nuts.
Apparently this woman was licensed, but her licensor took it away because she had too many kids, so she's been operating without a license ever since. So yes, she was operating illegally because she had too many kids to go without a license. But it really casts a bad light on for rest of us who are operating legally
. I actually added a page to my daycare website listing the requirements for licensed and unlicensed home daycares in response to this news item.
Conversely, I had a mom stop by unannounced on Saturday (when I'm closed) and ask me to break the law by taking her three kids for a half-hour to an hour each day (putting me over ratio by exactly 3 kids
). Of course, she didn't phrase it that way, and she was pretty insistent. Oi! Can't win for losing :confused:.
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also, (I haven't read the article) but I want to point out, on this forum there are so many that have little infants in their care, what I'm talking about is 2,3 or even 4 little ones under the age of 1. Now don't tell me that this is not asking for trouble, read the posts, in the last month, there have been so many about sleeping and crying issues you seriously start to wonder. (I'm not saying that not every one can do it, but read the posts, you start to wonder)Comment
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I think we may be just seeing more people ask about tips and tricks. I don't necessarily think the problem has gotten bigger, I just think we are asking about things more. You dont see many posts about people just saying things, usually the posts are questions about what to do or asking for advice....the forum has grown bigger with more members on it so I think it is just coming out like there are more issues with young infants when really there are just more people online. People use forums for advice not to just say this is great!! I dunno, I see your point too but I am always playing devil's advocate sooo.....
But back on topic, the whole situation is exactly why I am VERY hesitant to take on infants in care. I do have 2 right now, but one is a sibling of a family I have had in care for 6 years and one is a family friend so I'm feeling okay right now..but I have had a few times in the past where I have interviewed a family and chosen not to take them because the mom was like 18 and dad was in and out of her life and I just had a weird feeling so I passed...I don't mean any disrespect to young moms but that is one thing that does concern me. Boy, this is a hard topic......Comment
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Re: many people asking about sleeping/crying issues, or even just venting about them
I would say that the fact that we have somewhere to come to vent that frustration, to get sympathy and commiseration from other who are or who have been in those same situations, means that we are *that much less likely* to end up doing any harm. We have the presence of mind to vent the frustration HERE rather than IRL (as in, at the baby). We have a support system, and that is invaluable.
It's the providers that don't have the presence of mind to get advice, help, sympathy, someone who cares, who are of more concern for me.Hee hee! Look, I have a signature!Comment
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I am GLAD to see questions here about crying babies! We need to TALK ABOUT the frustration and stress a crying baby causes. Above all else we need to tell all providers that it is OK to put the baby in a crib and WALK AWAY. Or call the parent to come and get the child if you can't stand to listen to the crying anymore. If the baby is red faced and screaming, it is OK to take a break, collect yourself, and go back in to calm the baby after you have taken care of yourself mentally/emotionally.
If a provider can't deal with a certain child, TERMINATE that child. It does NOT make you a bad person or unreliable. It makes you human. Not all personalities mesh, including adult and child personalities. There is no fault in that!!
There is such a stigma attached to a provider not being able to care for every single child who walks through her door. Some kids are high strung, some are just unhappy kids, and we need to talk about it! Providers can't "save" each child who they meet. Sometimes a child needs to go home for the day or be let go from the daycare in order to do what is right for ALL involved.
This is a topic that needs to be aired out in order to STOP more violence against kids. So I encourage EVERY SINGLE PROVIDER to find a supportive network online or in real life and TALK, TALK, TALK honestly about the stress and isolation we feel on a daily basis as providers. Ask for help if you need it! Reach out to a provider who is new in your area and share tips about dealing with our job. It is a hard job and a valuable job, but no amount of money is worth the life of a child or your future.
So KEEP TALKING!!!!Comment
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This is a GREAT post.
I have to disagree on one point.
There is such a stigma attached to a provider not being able to care for every single child who walks through her door. Some kids are high strung, some are just unhappy kids, and we need to talk about it! Providers can't "save" each child who they meet. Sometimes a child needs to go home for the day or be let go from the daycare in order to do what is right for ALL involved.
I don't think that's true at all. I think that is often used as the rationale for keeping kids that don't mesh but I think 99.999999999999 percent of the time it is ONE reason and that is money. I think providers feel uncomfortable saying "I want the money" so they come up with this as an acceptable reason to endure.
I've counselled a LOT of providers in my nearly 18 years of doing day care and I haven't ran into too many providers who after really talking to them they didn't pinpoint the main reason as money. If someone came along and offered you a guranteed years worth of salary on that slot whether the kid came or not pretty much every provider would take the money and get rid of the kid as soon as they possibly could.. most likely immediately.
I think we have a lot of "rage" babies now. I think this is a result of the trend for "no cry" parenting and the use of motion equipment soothing and battery toys that are taking up their every minute of life.
These babies are so overloaded. It's not going to get better folks. We are going to see a lot more babies and toddlers with EXTREME anger, flickering minds, poor sleep/rest patterns, and poor diets.Comment
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I agree with you Nannyde. The way kids are being parented lately is horrible, and is truly creating monsters.
I also agree that a huge reason why providers don't want to term difficult children is that we simply can't afford to go without the income, and, with the economy being as rocky as it is, we don't know how long it will be for us to fill the space.
That leads to huge levels of stress on us. That's the thing, we deal with countless stressors throughout the day. When a child is miserable, that stresses EVERYONE out - the other kids, AND us - and when the other kids are stressed, they start crying as well, which just escalates the issue until it does become hard to cope with. And if money is the major motivating factor for "saving" the daycare relationship, then BANG! Guess where we end up?
I've been in a situation where I was really concerned that I was going to lose control. It was a scary place to be. And at the same time, I had another dcb leaving the province so that was 2 spaces that would be empty at the same time, and incredibly difficult to fill. I terminated anyway. It was the best decision I ever made. We were broke for 4 months after that because it took that long to fill the spaces, but we managed, and I kept my sanity, and that made the struggle worth it.Comment
Cannot be said enough!!!!!!
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