Bathroom Went Parent Arrives. HELP!!

[BabyMonkeys]

That would have led to a text containing the pictures of the mess in the bathroom and notice that a term letter would be waiting for them in the morning. I guess without being 100% sure, you can't take that option though. Wow...

[childcaremom]

To play devil's advocate...

If the bathroom was the messy, would she have used it? Chances are she wouldn't have, or at least would have said something.

Ugh. Don't envy you this.

[daycare]

To play devil's advocate...

If the bathroom was the messy, would she have used it? Chances are she wouldn't have, or at least would have said something.

Ugh. Don't envy you this.

thats a very good point.. I honestly don't know if she would say anything or not about the state of the bathroom....

[Blackcat31]

To play devil's advocate...

If the bathroom was the messy, would she have used it? Chances are she wouldn't have, or at least would have said something.

Ugh. Don't envy you this.

thats a very good point.. I honestly don't know if she would say anything or not about the state of the bathroom....

Daycare you said there was poop on the toilet. DCB could not have used it with poop on it so I HIGHLY doubt it was like that when she went in there.

Also, the other two being too young to be on the porch? If they were too young why did DCM leave them unsupervised in the first place?

Did she assume your staff would watch them? For FREE???

What did she say about the lamp? She allowed the other kids to be unsupervised so she should be responsible for it.

[daycare]

so here is the thing about the toilet. i have a toilet seat that looks like this.

http://www.amazon.com/Xpress-Trainer-One-Real-Round-Standard/dp/B0012BWUDQ/ref=sr_1_16?rps=1&ie=UTF8&qid=1441312231&sr=8-16&keywords=potty+training+toilet+seat

the top one completely covers the bottom one, so again it is possible it was not like that and they used the bottom one. then someone went in and put it down and used the top one.

As for the lamp, she did apologize for and offered to pay for and fix it. I told her that luckily it was just knocked down from the wall and ceiling and that only the bulb was broken. So it was replaced and hung back up by my son this morning. I told her that the older boys can't come in anymore and that she had to stay with them. she said ok....

I decided that i am going to tell dcm that if dck request to use the bathroom that we will take him no matter what. I will also tell dcm that dcb needs to learn to use the bathroom with us too and if mom keeps taking him he is not going to learn to go for us too. I think dcm will understand that and let it go if I explain it that way.

what do you think??

[spud912]

so here is the thing about the toilet. i have a toilet seat that looks like this.

http://www.amazon.com/Xpress-Trainer-One-Real-Round-Standard/dp/B0012BWUDQ/ref=sr_1_16?rps=1&ie=UTF8&qid=1441312231&sr=8-16&keywords=potty+training+toilet+seat

the top one completely covers the bottom one, so again it is possible it was not like that and they used the bottom one. then someone went in and put it down and used the top one.

As for the lamp, she did apologize for and offered to pay for and fix it. I told her that luckily it was just knocked down from the wall and ceiling and that only the bulb was broken. So it was replaced and hung back up by my son this morning. I told her that the older boys can't come in anymore and that she had to stay with them. she said ok....

I decided that i am going to tell dcm that if dck request to use the bathroom that we will take him no matter what. I will also tell dcm that dcb needs to learn to use the bathroom with us too and if mom keeps taking him he is not going to learn to go for us too. I think dcm will understand that and let it go if I explain it that way.

what do you think??

Everything sounds great EXCEPT for the part where you/staff will take him to the bathroom at pick up. If you or your staff recently took him to go potty in the 30 minutes prior, then there is no need to take him again. It sounds like dck is doing the pick-up potty dance for attention (holding it in until dcm comes in and then having her take him). I don't know how your dck is, but will he throw a temper tantrum when you refuse to allow dcm to go in the bathroom with him? If you believe he might do that, then I strongly urge you or your staff to say "Sorry, buddy, you just tried 10 minutes ago. Your mom can take you to the potty when you get home. See you tomorrow !" That's what I would do because I refuse to entertain pick-up power struggles.

[daycare]

Everything sounds great EXCEPT for the part where you/staff will take him to the bathroom at pick up. If you or your staff recently took him to go potty in the 30 minutes prior, then there is no need to take him again. It sounds like dck is doing the pick-up potty dance for attention (holding it in until dcm comes in and then having her take him). I don't know how your dck is, but will he throw a temper tantrum when you refuse to allow dcm to go in the bathroom with him? If you believe he might do that, then I strongly urge you or your staff to say "Sorry, buddy, you just tried 10 minutes ago. Your mom can take you to the potty when you get home. See you tomorrow !" That's what I would do because I refuse to entertain pick-up power struggles.

I agree with what you are saying i really do.

the issue is that by already letting it happen how do I not take them in.

example, the past 3 days when dcm comes he says I have to pee, dcm takes him and according to her he is letting a river go. So he is holding out for the dcm and she knows that he is. I don't know if its a comfort thing or if the dcm promised treats so he wants to show dcm look I used the potty all day so now I get a treat. dck is pretty smart and is 3.5....

what do you think?

[childcaremom]

If it is a power struggle, I would nip that in the bud right now.

I would warn mom ahead of time, that he will be going to try 15 (or 30 or whatever) minutes before she shows up. When she shows up for pick up, if he says he has to go, mom should say "Well let's hurry and get home then."

It sounds good but I don't know how practical it would be.

Would mom be onboard for that? I think if you present it to her as a power struggle over pottying, and that you want him to be able to be successful pottying at daycare..... ??? I don't know.

[daycare]

If it is a power struggle, I would nip that in the bud right now.

I would warn mom ahead of time, that he will be going to try 15 (or 30 or whatever) minutes before she shows up. When she shows up for pick up, if he says he has to go, mom should say "Well let's hurry and get home then."

It sounds good but I don't know how practical it would be.

Would mom be onboard for that? I think if you present it to her as a power struggle over pottying, and that you want him to be able to be successful pottying at daycare..... ??? I don't know.

I am going to make certain my staff has him go 10 min before pick up. I want them to st with him the entire time in the bathroom to make sure he goes. this way they can say sorry you just went. If you have to go again you will have to wait until you go home.

I hate when parents complicate something so simple...i am really frustrated right now.

[Unregistered]

I agree with what you are saying i really do.

the issue is that by already letting it happen how do I not take them in.

example, the past 3 days when dcm comes he says I have to pee, dcm takes him and according to her he is letting a river go. So he is holding out for the dcm and she knows that he is. I don't know if its a comfort thing or if the dcm promised treats so he wants to show dcm look I used the potty all day so now I get a treat. dck is pretty smart and is 3.5....

what do you think?

I would take dck to potty before dcm comes however many minutes before is up to you. If dck doesn't go then I would tell him, he will need to wait and go until mom takes him home.

My son is the same age and just started preschool. He refuses to go potty at school no matter how many times his teachers asks him to go throughout the day. He had one accident when he first started so I told him when he needs to potty then he goes so he doesn't have an accident which he hates being dirty. I even tell him his teachers will help him if he needs help. Still he refuses to go potty at school and holds it until I pick him up and bring him home. Even then he holds it for another hour or two. He is at school from 8am-2:15pm. I feel it is not the teachers job to make him go potty since he is completely potty trained and I know he can told it for a long time, so he knows he needs to wait until we get home if he chooses not to potty at home. In general my son hates public restrooms and prefers to wait until he can use at home, however if he really really needs to go when we are out of the house then he will.

[daycare]

I would take dck to potty before dcm comes however many minutes before is up to you. If dck doesn't go then I would tell him, he will need to wait and go until mom takes him home.

My son is the same age and just started preschool. He refuses to go potty at school no matter how many times his teachers asks him to go throughout the day. He had one accident when he first started so I told him when he needs to potty then he goes so he doesn't have an accident which he hates being dirty. I even tell him his teachers will help him if he needs help. Still he refuses to go potty at school and holds it until I pick him up and bring him home. Even then he holds it for another hour or two. He is at school from 8am-2:15pm. I feel it is not the teachers job to make him go potty since he is completely potty trained and I know he can told it for a long time, so he knows he needs to wait until we get home if he chooses not to potty at home. In general my son hates public restrooms and prefers to wait until he can use at home, however if he really really needs to go when we are out of the house then he will.

thanks for sharing this information. for the most part, he will go when he is only, but only when he is told. He just for whatever reason has started this habit of telling only mommy he has to go at pick up time. I believe he does it for attention to be honest with you.

if he was flat out refusing to go, I would never force him to go or would my staff.

i am the same way about public bathrooms...I hate them and would rather drive all the way home than use one. I have had to when I am a long ways from home, but I still really hate it....

[daycare]

I would take dck to potty before dcm comes however many minutes before is up to you. If dck doesn't go then I would tell him, he will need to wait and go until mom takes him home.

My son is the same age and just started preschool. He refuses to go potty at school no matter how many times his teachers asks him to go throughout the day. He had one accident when he first started so I told him when he needs to potty then he goes so he doesn't have an accident which he hates being dirty. I even tell him his teachers will help him if he needs help. Still he refuses to go potty at school and holds it until I pick him up and bring him home. Even then he holds it for another hour or two. He is at school from 8am-2:15pm. I feel it is not the teachers job to make him go potty since he is completely potty trained and I know he can told it for a long time, so he knows he needs to wait until we get home if he chooses not to potty at home. In general my son hates public restrooms and prefers to wait until he can use at home, however if he really really needs to go when we are out of the house then he will.

thanks for sharing this information. for the most part, he will go when he is only, but only when he is told. He just for whatever reason has started this habit of telling only mommy he has to go at pick up time. I believe he does it for attention to be honest with you.

if he was flat out refusing to go, I would never force him to go or would my staff.

i am the same way about public bathrooms...I hate them and would rather drive all the way home than use one. I have had to when I am a long ways from home, but I still really hate it....

[Angelsj]

Stop allowing daycare boy the option of using the bathroom at that time.

Mom arrives for pick up
DCB says "I have to go to the bathroom, mommy take me"

You say "Sorry DCB, you were just given the opportunity to use the bathroom. You do not need to go now. If you do, you best hurry and get going with mom so you can go at home. Have a good night! See you tomorrow!"

This is the exact same song and dance the kids put on in regards to needing a drink or being hungry the second their parent arrives.

He does not NEED to go. He just wants to use it as attention.

Tell mom he just had the opportunity before she arrived so you are not going to play into his game now.

Exactly, and you are not being paid to watch the older children either. Offer toileting just prior to pickup then no more. Sorry kiddo, better get home quickly.

[laundrymom]

Great advice. And at three I would tell him.
Josiah, this is the time to potty. When your mom gets here you are not getting another trip. You pee now or wait until you are home.
Do you understand? Pee now. Or wait until you are home. You are not using the potty when your mom gets here.

[Unregistered]

Oh Sh^t!

I had so many problems years ago with older kids coming in with the parent rough housing with the little ones. Bringing in ****ers, and other food so I finally got smart and nipped it.
In my policy I have it written if they pickup with other kids, siblings then they need to wait outside and I will promptly deliver their child to them. I clearly explain why I have this policy so they can understand.

In this case the bathroom thing sounds like an attention getter especially if the child was taking that long. I agree 10-15 before pickup take him, otherwise he gets to go at home and mommy can take him!