When the DCK "tattletails" to their parent

[ChelseaB]

It always seems that there's that one kid...the one that never ever ever listens. My 6yo DCK is a sweet little boy in general; however, he is also the terror of my group. Which is also why he is always in trouble. Lol. I swear the kid no sooner gets out of time out, and he just has to go right back in!
Anyway, there are times when he becomes understandably aggravated, yet I can't help him grasp that his actions must change if he is to enjoy his time here like everyone else. During a couple of such occasions, he has reacted emotionally or even conspiratorially, stating, "You're mean! I'm going to tell my mommy! I don't want to come here anymore!" Normally, I simply respond with the answer along the lines of, "I'm sorry you feel that way, but we have rules for a reason, etc etc, and if you cannot respect them, then we have to take time out to decide what's right." But if he's being exceptionally snarky, I'll even one up him with the, "that's a great idea! I think it's important for your mom to know about what happened today, I'll be sure to tell her as well!"
Yes, I do inform the DCM when she arrives for PU -- I'll even ask him to help me tell her what happened that afternoon because I can tell he knows or comes to realize that his actions WERE wrong. I'm beginning to realize that my program may not be perfect for SA however (primarily during the summer), although it's okay for a couple hours after school. so how do you handle your "tattletailers"?

[Thriftylady]

I don't. I just don't worry about it. The parent knows their child is like this, and if it bothers them they can find a new provider. Sure you loose a kiddo, but then it will just happen with another provider it isn't like that will change. The parent is probably letting it roll off I would guess. If not, maybe you don't need that family. Next time he said he was going to "tattle" to mom, I would just ignore him!

[Unregistered]

Tattling to parents can be so annoying, especially when it happens right in front of you. I have learned to not jump in and defend myself or explain the situation. I'll usually wait until I have the dcp full attention before saying "Johnny had a rough day today, he had to sit by himself until he could control his body. We discussed it and are hoping for a better day tomorrow, right Johnny?" This helps alleviate any tension and allows the child to realize he can't get me in trouble because he made a bad choice. Last week I was irritated with one sa dcg who tattles to her mom about the most ridiculous thing. She has a younger sister who is in care all day, parents have only one car seat. Dad brings it in and I put it right back outside, in front of him so he knows what's going on. Well the seat had ants in it at pick up one day and mom was banging it around before putting in the car. I had already shut my door and mom didn't say anything to me about it but I figured what had happened. The next day at pick up sa dcg said "mom, ms xxx left the seat outside again!" Dcm didn't say anything but I didn't jump to respond. What's the point? I don't have room in my house to store your huge car seat and the two booster seats for sa dcks. Maybe if you cleaned the seats once in a while and didn't allow child to eat in it, that wouldn't happen!

[midaycare]

I don't worry about it. Especially with my young ones, the kids have a vivid imagination. One dcb, age 2, kept telling his mom I was feeding him cheez whiz and hot dogs for lunch. Whaaaat? Dcm just laughed because she knew it wasn't true, but she did ask me if I knew why he said that. Nope ... No idea! I haven't had either in my home for .... Well, years for hot dogs, and never for cheez whiz.

[Blackcat31]

It always seems that there's that one kid...the one that never ever ever listens. My 6yo DCK is a sweet little boy in general; however, he is also the terror of my group. Which is also why he is always in trouble. Lol. I swear the kid no sooner gets out of time out, and he just has to go right back in!
Anyway, there are times when he becomes understandably aggravated, yet I can't help him grasp that his actions must change if he is to enjoy his time here like everyone else. During a couple of such occasions, he has reacted emotionally or even conspiratorially, stating, "You're mean! I'm going to tell my mommy! I don't want to come here anymore!" Normally, I simply respond with the answer along the lines of, "I'm sorry you feel that way, but we have rules for a reason, etc etc, and if you cannot respect them, then we have to take time out to decide what's right." But if he's being exceptionally snarky, I'll even one up him with the, "that's a great idea! I think it's important for your mom to know about what happened today, I'll be sure to tell her as well!"
Yes, I do inform the DCM when she arrives for PU -- I'll even ask him to help me tell her what happened that afternoon because I can tell he knows or comes to realize that his actions WERE wrong. I'm beginning to realize that my program may not be perfect for SA however (primarily during the summer), although it's okay for a couple hours after school. so how do you handle your "tattletailers"?

I encourage and more or less require the kids to tattle to their parents.

If I had a child like the one you described above, part of the natural consequences of his behavior is owning it and relaying what happened during the day to his parent himself.

Once a child can speak and the parent wants to know how the day went, I expect the child to answer. Good, bad and ugly.... It's their "story" to tell.

This exchange of info happens when myself, the parent and child are present so any questions, concerns or comments can be addressed and any mistakes can be corrected.

I think this helps the child know that they ARE responsible for their own actions/behaviors and it helps them understand that the parents and myself are on the same page. I also think it helps them learn that phrases such as "I'm telling" carry no weight in my program or at least isn't something they can use just for shock factor.

If I were in your shoes, any time that little guy gets in trouble enough that he has a time out or is removed from a group/activity it is an expectation that at the end of the day he will be tattling on himself.

[e.j.]

Anyway, there are times when he becomes understandably aggravated, yet I can't help him grasp that his actions must change if he is to enjoy his time here like everyone else. During a couple of such occasions, he has reacted emotionally or even conspiratorially, stating, "You're mean! I'm going to tell my mommy! I don't want to come here anymore!" Normally, I simply respond with the answer along the lines of, "I'm sorry you feel that way, but we have rules for a reason, etc etc, and if you cannot respect them, then we have to take time out to decide what's right." But if he's being exceptionally snarky, I'll even one up him with the, "that's a great idea! I think it's important for your mom to know about what happened today, I'll be sure to tell her as well!"
Yes, I do inform the DCM when she arrives for PU -- I'll even ask him to help me tell her what happened that afternoon because I can tell he knows or comes to realize that his actions WERE wrong. I'm beginning to realize that my program may not be perfect for SA however (primarily during the summer), although it's okay for a couple hours after school. so how do you handle your "tattletailers"?

I pretty much handle these things the same way you do. It usually takes the wind right out of their sails and most will back down fast with a horrified, "No! Don't tell my mother!!"