DCG Behavior Driving Me Batty

[midaycare]

Dcg, new 3. Last week new 3. Smart. She has been going through this awful phase that her parents and I can't stand. I need some help with it.

No matter what I say, dcg says, "I don't want to do that!" And then she sobs. Not a fit. Just sobs. I could say, "We're going to eat cupcakes!" And her reaction would be the same. It doesn't matter if she wants to actually do it or not. She also has to be right next to me, staring at me. It's very attention seeking.

All day I ignore the behavior and tell her "go play". Rinse and repeat. But it doesn't stop the behavior. It's been 3-4 months and she is just not moving out of this stage.

Thoughts? Advice?

[Heidi]

Maybe try a crying spot?

"You' seem sad...you need to cry...this is where we cry...when you're done, come play \" Walk away....

Far side of the room...a couple pillows and stuffed animals...

[midaycare]

Maybe try a crying spot?

"You' seem sad...you need to cry...this is where we cry...when you're done, come play \" Walk away....

Far side of the room...a couple pillows and stuffed animals...

I have one and I love it. It has saved my sanity. But ... She doesn't really cry. It's sobbing for a maybe 10 seconds, then repeating she doesn't want to do something, then sticking to me like glue. Right now she is one inch from me. I think it's more attention seeking.

[rosieteddy]

Send her to the spot.Tell her that you are tired of this behavior and she needs to go play or sit away from you.Then just point her there .It might take a week or more but no more attention for bad behavior.Maybe institute an end of summer sticker chart for everyone.Reward only good behavior and have a prize for fridays .Could be a treat at snack or stickers or small box of raisins to go home with whatever you decide.

[daycarediva]

My 3yo's new thing after I tell her something is "I can do whatever I want to do!" followed by "crying" NO tears either, just LOUD fake crying. Yesterday it was over taking a group picture. She is an attention HOG and only wanted herself in the picture.

NOT at my house. I tried ignoring, explaining, redirecting, didn't work.

Now I offer choices "You can _______ or you can __________ but you cannot do what you want."

If she fake cries- she goes to the cry corner (which I moved so she has ZERO attention for it).

I've seen improvement.

If she was in my face staring, she would get the same. "You can play with _____ or with _______ but you may not stare, staring is rude."

[midaycare]

Oi! I've tried these things... Maybe she's just a tough cookie and I need to keep at it.

[spedmommy4]

Oi! I've tried these things... Maybe she's just a tough cookie and I need to keep at it.

For this type of persistent attention seeking, I would not give eye contact, physical contact, or talk to the child unless they are demonstrating positive behavior.

In this case, I ask dcg or her parents what she likes to do at home. Then, make a picture chart with those things. Tell her, your going to remind her of the choice chart when she can't think of something to do.

When she sobs, tell her, only the first time each day, go to the cry spot or pick something from your choice chart. After the first time, strict ignoring. Don't tell her to go play. Engage with other kids.

When you notice her playing independant for a bit, notice and give specific praise. Spend a minute or two with her and move one. Essentially, you want her to learn the only behavior that gets attention at your house is positive behavior.

[midaycare]

For this type of persistent attention seeking, I would not give eye contact, physical contact, or talk to the child unless they are demonstrating positive behavior.

In this case, I ask dcg or her parents what she likes to do at home. Then, make a picture chart with those things. Tell her, your going to remind her of the choice chart when she can't think of something to do.

When she sobs, tell her, only the first time each day, go to the cry spot or pick something from your choice chart. After the first time, strict ignoring. Don't tell her to go play. Engage with other kids.

When you notice her playing independant for a bit, notice and give specific praise. Spend a minute or two with her and move one. Essentially, you want her to learn the only behavior that gets attention at your house is positive behavior.

I like it! This may work.