Need Help and Encouragement!

[Indianadaycare]

I have a 14 month girl who is having a hard time adjusting. This is the start of her fourth week. She arrives (carried in by her mom even thoug:h she can walk) at 7:40 and gets picked up either at 1:30 or 3:30. Mon-Thurs Mom, who is also "adjusting" smothers her with kisses "You'll be alright" etc..

She's never been in dc; is the third child at home, and is very "delicate". Tiny little one, and her family babies her A LOT. They give her whatever she wants, don't let her struggle at all to figure something out, (how a toy works, where to put the puzzle piece, etc) carry her, etc. Mom is overly "sensitive" to her (perceived) needs. Mom also says she doesn't do this at home... "She play great by herself at home." Consequently, she throws tantrums a lot, does not allow herself to enjoy the many toys, books and playmates (her age) around her and cries a lot. I was hoping today being her fourth week, she would not be crying as much, but she is. Unless she is on my lap while I'm playing with or reading to her, she will stand in the middle of the room, **** her two fingers, and cry. She will go to the door, reach up and cry, wanting her mom. Once in a while, she will engage with another toddler for a short few minutes, but after three weeks has still not explored the toys on her own (I keep showing them to her; demonstrating how they work, playing with them, etc) Strangely, she is happy when she arrives and has a smile on her face; looking glad to be here. That lasts about five minutes.

I have been VERY kind and patient; acknowledging her feelings but happily encouraging her to join in, etc and she might... for a couple minutes (literally), but then quickly goes back to crying.
I am at my wits end! Many times it causes the other 10 month olds to cry, or even the 17 month who is a cheerful busy gal. I have never had a child do this into the fourth week and I've been doing this for years!

Any suggestions on how to help her be happy?

At nap time, she sleeps for a half hour, and then cries/screams to get up for the rest of the nap time, which is about an hour! I go in every 15 min to pat her back - no eye contact or talking - then leave again. She is throwing a tantrum during nap time as I write this.

Help!

[childcaremom]

:hug:

I don't have any specific advice other than what you are doing.

I had one like this and was just getting ready to term when all of a sudden she was fine. I don't know what I did (or didn't do) but it was right at the 4 week mark. That's how long of a transition period I give so I was getting doubtful about her adapting.

Have you chatted with mom? She just may not be ready for group care or need a setting where she is one of the only littles.

[rosieteddy]

I would speak to mom and starting tomorrow :bye bye outside ask mom to hand her to you say bye and walk away.When she comes inside I would greet her and set her up with a toy or book. I would give more attention to the group and try to ignore the crying.I also would ask mom to be more consistant with pick up.I also had one this age who at 15 months stopped I was really close to terming until then

[Nisaryn]

I had the SAME issue with my 15m DCB, the mother was/is the exact same way and he did the exact same things!!! I waited it out and now, after an entire month (so just past the 4 week mark) it's finally worked out for us. I think what finally helped was that I just continued doing exactly what you did, trying to take that little bit of extra time to show him its OK, how a specific toy works, singing with him, dancing (he loves to dance) and reading a book (or five) with him. It paid off in the end.

Now the biggest issue is that he is the oldest of my group and has started sitting on the babies!