Divorcing DCP

[TXhomedaycare]

I have been watching a child for almost a year and his parents are getting a divorce. The dcb recently got sick and I requested the mom come and get him. She said she was about 2 hours away and wanted to see if dcb dad can come and get him. My policy states she has 1 hr to get him and then my sick pay kicks in. She recently requested that I no longer release dcb to his dad since she is worried he will take him since she is moving in with her new boyfriend and he is upset and things are getting ugly. She also removed the dads parents from the authorized release list. The only people on the list to pick up dcb are her new boyfriend and his sister. Long story short I told her I would wait for her to come get him and I need to check into all this can dad come get him stuff. She requested for me to call her if dad shows up or to only release to dad with her consent.

I called my local childcare office and verified the procedure on this since I havent dealt with divorced parents and I could already tell this was going to get annoying quick. Since she only has primary custody and the father has not been denied custody I still have to release him to his dad period. I told mom and she is not happy and requested I still call her if dad shows up. I have met the dad many times and he used to pick dcb up on occasion and I have no problem with him and mom is flaky and I now she is going to keep changing who can get him and what to do about the dad (dcm has no family in this area. Her parents live in a different country and I can tell she doesn't want to burden new boyfriend with her child).

Does any body have a policy about this or have suggestions and how to handle divorced patents, how to release kids and a firm way to be clear on this because I refuse to be the middle person in their mess.

[Blackcat31]

I have been watching a child for almost a year and his parents are getting a divorce. The dcb recently got sick and I requested the mom come and get him. She said she was about 2 hours away and wanted to see if dcb dad can come and get him. My policy states she has 1 hr to get him and then my sick pay kicks in. She recently requested that I no longer release dcb to his dad since she is worried he will take him since she is moving in with her new boyfriend and he is upset and things are getting ugly. She also removed the dads parents from the authorized release list. The only people on the list to pick up dcb are her new boyfriend and his sister. Long story short I told her I would wait for her to come get him and I need to check into all this can dad come get him stuff. She requested for me to call her if dad shows up or to only release to dad with her consent.

I called my local childcare office and verified the procedure on this since I havent dealt with divorced parents and I could already tell this was going to get annoying quick. Since she only has primary custody and the father has not been denied custody I still have to release him to his dad period. I told mom and she is not happy and requested I still call her if dad shows up. I have met the dad many times and he used to pick dcb up on occasion and I have no problem with him and mom is flaky and I now she is going to keep changing who can get him and what to do about the dad (dcm has no family in this area. Her parents live in a different country and I can tell she doesn't want to burden new boyfriend with her child).

Does any body have a policy about this or have suggestions and how to handle divorced patents, how to release kids and a firm way to be clear on this because I refuse to be the middle person in their mess.

Until mom provides you with LEGAL court papers saying dad can't come get his child, dad has EVERY right to get him. Dad also has every right to send anyone he chooses to as a representative for him. Mom has NO say in that unless the courts say so and then she still has to provide you with a copy of the court papers stating that.

You really should NOT call mom every time dad comes as what the other parent does is not her business anymore unless she has legal right to deny him of his child. She has NO legal right to remove the dad's parents from the pick up form. (again, you would have to have the paperwork on site stating this).

I would refuse to be the middle man in this. I would treat each parent as a separate family and have BOTH the mom and the dad sign contracts and list pick up people (that the other parent does NOT get to approve or deny).

I have a letter that works great in getting the message across to parents that your role is to make sure DCK is receiving good quality care and that you don't care what the parents have going on in their personal lives as your only concern is the well being of the child while the child is on your clock.

Here is that letter if you would like to use it:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B8_3z0c2eVI8blBUTmJnTmZTQ00/view?usp=sharing

[Jujube835]

There is NO WAY I would get into the middle. Boy gets sick: I call both parents. Whichever one gets here faster gets child. I would NOT contact mom if dad shows up at any time. It's not your job. He is child's parent too.

You could get yourself into trouble by trying to mediate. Both parents have equal rights, unless you see a court form stating otherwise.

[SilverSabre25]

I used blackcat's letter when I went through that with a family. That was the most annoying thing I've dealt with on yeasts but it's finally settled down. Dad even took some crap out on ME because of his squabbles with mom, but we seem to have reached an accord all around. I text both parents about most things for transparency, and only a few things end up going to only one or the other.

It's been a learning and growing process for me, but I expect that it's different for every family because every family ends up with different issues and custody arrangements and whatnot

[Unregistered]

Legally Dad has every right to pick him up at anytime without letting mom know as there is no custody agreement. If Mom has a problem with that she could always terminate care. Put him in another daycare and not notify Dad of the switch.

[TXhomedaycare]

thanks for the feedback and suggestions! I don't see the dad anymore and I will release dcb to him but in regards to seperate contracts and who he wants to pick up dcb. Do I just address this issue if he comes in and says something or do I reach out to him?