Daycare Parents Won't Let Me Sunscreen Child

[Sugaree]

We have sunscreen issues. There is something that's DS is allergic to in some of them. It doesn't bother him, but causes a rash anywhere that's applied. So far, the Neutrogena baby sunscreen has worked this year. If that stops working then I'll have to look into some more natural things. With that being said, I wouldn't be so quick to recommend the Honest brand of suncreen. It's been reported to not work lately.

[Thriftylady]

Whew. There's a lot of opinions here. Im having a hard time understanding her choice, I guess. I see that a lot of other people understand her ... So this issue isn't as crazy as I thought.

I'm like a sunscreen queen, so this particular issue is grinding my gears.


Ultimately, I've decided to terminate care, effective Friday. I will tell her today at pick up. I will keep him shaded for today and tomorrow but it's a lot of work and I can't do it long term.

My decision is based on the liability of this issue, primarily. Obviously they're free to make whatever decision about sunscreen that they want.. But I'm not going to lose my license over it.

I would have done the same thing for the same reasons. Parents can choose to raise their children however they want, but I have to protect my business.

[Thriftylady]

I understand where this parent is coming from... I dislike the idea of putting chemicals onto my child's skin too, though I realize the importance of protecting her, and as a provider myself I understand wanting to protect yourself from a potential liability. (Has anyone seen the news story lately of the children who were severly burned from playing outside at daycare? I feel like I have seen it all over the news...)

Anyways, we use a natural sunscreen. I have found it at my local "hippie" store (natural grocery). I think it is sold on Amazon too. It's Badger brand natural/organic sunscreen. The formula is the old zinc oxide formula, that makes you look white. I'm sure there are other brands too... I think Jessica Alba's Honest Company... so I'm sure there are others.

I also put my dd in a wetsuit style swim top that has 50spf UVA/UVB protection. I believe that there are other clothes (besides swim wear) that is marketed as having UVA/UVB protection. Maybe you could inform dcp of that?

This is definetitly not an issue I would term over.

As for assuming whether or not she vaccinates... I honestly feel that you cannot assume. We are very "cruchy granola" here at my house but still vaccinate on schedule. Honestly, I feel like you cannot assume these things. There has to be some level of trust, and if she put it on her form that she vaccinates, then that's what you have to go with-- imo anyway.

Maybe you feel like terming because you wonder if she is lying about her child's vaccination status or you feel she has been "sneaky" about the suncreen issue. But, I would challenge you to consider how you addressed the topic of sunscreen. The way you wrote about it, made me wonder if your appraoch has been somewhat authoritative, and if dcm felt like it was "your way or the highway". Could that have caused her difficulty in addressing the issue, if she is the type to avoid confrontation. Maybe it took some time for her to know how to address the issue. Rather than assuming that she was just being "sneaky" about the issue.
Sure, we own our own business, and we make our own rules and ultimately can do what we want to, but it is also good keep in mind the importance of partnering with parents and making them feel included, especially because they have to be away from their children all day while working; this is how we can empower parent's in the most important role that they have in life-- that is to be a parent. In my early childhood classes, the importance of nurturing the parent-provider relationship and building community within your progra was really stressed as a key peice of the pie in providing quality care for young children... as a provider now I can certainly see how much good relationships and open, respectful communication has made my job easier and more fufilling. Just my thoughts. Best regards!

In my program it is "my way or the highway". I have policies and I have them for a reason. If you don't enforce them, there is no point in having them. If you give in on just one, soon that parent usually wants you to give in on others. At the end of the day, we all own and run our own business, we offer a service and we choose what services we offer, and what our policies are. We don't have to change those policies for a parent. I told a DCM (who has been with me several months) that if she didn't like my policy of no outside food, she should find a provider who doesn't have policies. But she won't because she already tried that and got burned. At the end of the day, it is MY WAY or you can find someone else.

[Baby Beluga]

Maybe you feel like terming because you wonder if she is lying about her child's vaccination status or you feel she has been "sneaky" about the suncreen issue. But, I would challenge you to consider how you addressed the topic of sunscreen. The way you wrote about it, made me wonder if your appraoch has been somewhat authoritative, and if dcm felt like it was "your way or the highway". Could that have caused her difficulty in addressing the issue, if she is the type to avoid confrontation. Maybe it took some time for her to know how to address the issue. Rather than assuming that she was just being "sneaky" about the issue.
Sure, we own our own business, and we make our own rules and ultimately can do what we want to, but it is also good keep in mind the importance of partnering with parents and making them feel included, especially because they have to be away from their children all day while working; this is how we can empower parent's in the most important role that they have in life-- that is to be a parent. In my early childhood classes, the importance of nurturing the parent-provider relationship and building community within your progra was really stressed as a key peice of the pie in providing quality care for young children... as a provider now I can certainly see how much good relationships and open, respectful communication has made my job easier and more fufilling. Just my thoughts. Best regards!

I agree with this. Open honest communication and mutual respect make our jobs much easier and benefit the children.

However....

The provider made it known to the parents prior to enrollment that the children spend a great deal of time outside and sunscreen was required. Don't you feel by the mom enrolling her child in the program after knowing this information mom was the one who tainted the trust and respect needed in for a good parent-provider relationship? In my opinion the mother was dishonest, not open and disrespectful of the provider and her policies. I would also have to term for this reason.

[CalCare]

I use badger on my own kids too. I also have have my kids in swim shirts (the uva/uvb blocking kind) and hats. I also vaccinate! There's no correlation, really. I just want the best sun coverage for my fair kids (and self). And I don't see slathering on a chemical one when I could just as easily slather on no chemicals.

I would be annoyed if a parent refused to sign or say anything for days on end, but I can't picture myself terming for it. I am a teacher in a center- not a family childcare owner so, I haven't been there!

I, myself, got second degree burns when I was 10 on a school trip to a water park. They weren't doing anything to supervise us at all, much less reapplying sunscreen. Ridiculous.

OP- Sounds like you decided to term and I'm sure you'll find someone to replace that goes with your policies. Best to be done with it before something else comes up that she doesn't want to go along with.

[CraftyMom]

Good idea to end care. A good portion of my yard is shaded and then there is another good portion of my yard that is full sun. The kids run around the entire yard.

There is no way I could keep one kid in one part of the yard the whole time unless it were an infant in a play pen.

It wouldn't be fair to the kid that he couldn't run around with the others...nope, you have to stop right there where the sun begins while the others continue playing their game over there...

And it would be a ton of work to make sure he stayed in the shade.

[Play Care]

To me, this isn't about the sunscreen.

This is about parents signing up for a program knowing that it is not a good fit and then asking provider to change their program to fit the family's needs. In this case, to not allow permission to use sunscreen knowing that provider required this, and asking provider to change the programming to keep children inside at certain hours when they knew the program was outdoors most of the day.

I think you made the right decision for your program and I think this family will be happier finding a place that meets all of their needs.

Winner winner, chicken dinner!happyface::

[Blackcat31]

[daycarediva]

I have a child with SUPER sensitive skin, Mom provides an organic, hypoallergenic, zinc based sunscreen AND dcb wears SPF clothing outside. No big deal. Will Mom agree to do that? There are a bunch of organic, natural sunscreens without chemicals available now, as well as SPF clothing. I put my own kids in SPF surf suits and hats at the beach when they were younger.

[Thriftylady]

Hey BC, do you deliver?

[Blackcat31]

Hey BC, do you deliver?

LOL! Last time I posted a similar picture without saying the words Playcare posted, another member came on and asked what the connection between the topic of the thread and chicken was so when I saw Playcare's post I had to add the photo.

I guess it's not a common saying in all parts of the country. I just assumed it was.

Also, yes if you live somewhere fun and exciting (without mosquitoes) I just might seriously consider delivery! :: ::

[AngiesCareXYZ]

:hug:

I understand where this parent is coming from... I dislike the idea of putting chemicals onto my child's skin too, though I realize the importance of protecting her, and as a provider myself I understand wanting to protect yourself from a potential liability. (Has anyone seen the news story lately of the children who were severly burned from playing outside at daycare? I feel like I have seen it all over the news...)

Anyways, we use a natural sunscreen. I have found it at my local "hippie" store (natural grocery). I think it is sold on Amazon too. It's Badger brand natural/organic sunscreen. The formula is the old zinc oxide formula, that makes you look white. I'm sure there are other brands too... I think Jessica Alba's Honest Company... so I'm sure there are others.

I also put my dd in a wetsuit style swim top that has 50spf UVA/UVB protection. I believe that there are other clothes (besides swim wear) that is marketed as having UVA/UVB protection. Maybe you could inform dcp of that?

This is definetitly not an issue I would term over.

As for assuming whether or not she vaccinates... I honestly feel that you cannot assume. We are very "cruchy granola" here at my house but still vaccinate on schedule. Honestly, I feel like you cannot assume these things. There has to be some level of trust, and if she put it on her form that she vaccinates, then that's what you have to go with-- imo anyway.

Maybe you feel like terming because you wonder if she is lying about her child's vaccination status or you feel she has been "sneaky" about the suncreen issue. But, I would challenge you to consider how you addressed the topic of sunscreen. The way you wrote about it, made me wonder if your appraoch has been somewhat authoritative, and if dcm felt like it was "your way or the highway". Could that have caused her difficulty in addressing the issue, if she is the type to avoid confrontation. Maybe it took some time for her to know how to address the issue. Rather than assuming that she was just being "sneaky" about the issue.
Sure, we own our own business, and we make our own rules and ultimately can do what we want to, but it is also good keep in mind the importance of partnering with parents and making them feel included, especially because they have to be away from their children all day while working; this is how we can empower parent's in the most important role that they have in life-- that is to be a parent. In my early childhood classes, the importance of nurturing the parent-provider relationship and building community within your progra was really stressed as a key peice of the pie in providing quality care for young children... as a provider now I can certainly see how much good relationships and open, respectful communication has made my job easier and more fufilling. Just my thoughts. Best regards!